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>Dear Debbie, > >I am honestly almost in tears with emotions of what >you shared! I think that was wonderful and very brave >that you spoke to your mom about how spankings could >be a good option again. I obviously know how much >spankings hurt, but just like you mentioned they can >be cathartic as well. I hate spankings, but I also >know that I like that they are generally over fairly >quickly, all is forgiven and there is a lot of love. >I honestly could see me having a similar talk with my >mom or Uncle Don under similar circumstances. > >I am curious about that first one after the talk >though. As she was preparing you for that spanking, I >would imagine you were thinking, “what in the world >did I get myself into!” I’m assuming she did not >got easy and fell into the rhythm quickly. > >Debbie, it seems like we are raised similarity and >have much in common. I would love to chat with you >and be friends. I am not allowed to post my email >address, however Pastor Robertson has my email address >and can give it to you, if you are interested. I >understand if you are not, but at least want to let >you know that I would love to chat with you and a >couple of others that have similar values and >upbringing. > >Hugs and Love, Bonnie > > >>Hi BBB, >> >>What a nice thing to say! I'm really lucky to have the >>mom that I do. I hear people say that parents need to >>be parents, and that they shouldn't try to be their >>kids' friend. I disagree with that, at least in part. >>I don't think it has to be one or the other. I would >>absolutely say that my mom is my best friend, but >>she's also definitely the one in charge. I think you >>need really clear boundaries about the kind of stuff >>that is and isn't ok, and both of you have to be on >>the same page. Maybe it's a bit easier for us. It's >>only the two of us, and we're pretty like-minded about >>most things. >> >>As for the number of spankings, I could be accused of >>being biased 🤭, but I totally agree that fewer is >>better, especially once you get to around my age. If >>you have to spank your teenager all the time, then I >>question if that's the right kind of discipline. It's >>a bit ironic that you mentioned this because my >>situation is kind of the reverse of the example you >>gave. >> >>I've always been a pretty quiet and low-maintenance >>kid. I've been a bookworm from the moment I learned >>to read, and though I have friends, I'm more of an >>introvert. I guess I'm trying to say that I've never >>gone out of my way to get into trouble. Of course, I >>wasn't perfect, and I got the occasional spanking when >>I was little. That was up until the age of 9. My mom >>never made some grand announcement that my spanking >>days were over, lmao. I just didn't really earn one >>after that. I got my share of warnings, and sometimes >>the loss of privileges, like screen time, but I just >>didn't do anything that would have earned me a trip >>over her knee (or if I did, then I must not have >>gotten caught.) This went on until my first year of >>high school, when I had a little identity crisis. >> >> I felt like I was older, and should be more >>independent, and we started bumping heads. This >>resulted in me being grounded several times, which was >>miserable for everyone concerned. I was resentful, >>but also deep down, feeling guilty for being a brat. >>My mom wasn't thrilled with my behavior, and she was >>also worried, because this kind of acting out was very >>out of the ordinary for me. One day, I had mouthed >>off about something, and she (obviously frustrated) >>said, "If you were a little younger, I'd put you over >>my knee!" >> >>I was a little shocked, but I kept thinking about it >>for the next few days. I certainly didn't WANT to be >>spanked, but a tiny little voice inside said that >>maybe I deserved it, for the way I had been acting. >>And I remembered how getting a spanking when I was >>little meant that I had a clean slate. Once it was >>over, then I was forgiven and all I had to do was try >>not to make the same mistake again. >> >>I felt a little crazy for even entertaining the idea >>of asking to be spanked instead of grounded. I wanted >>to feel more grown up, not get punished like a little >>kid! And I was way too embarrassed to talk about this >>with anyone. That's how I wound up here. I knew that >>an internet forum wasn't the best place to go for >>advice, but I figured it was worth a chance to see if >>there were any people here who weren't only interested >>in kinky stuff. A few people were nice/ encouraging, >>and I just ignored anyone being creepy. >> >>Eventually, I worked up the courage to talk to my mom. >> I said I was sorry for the way I'd been acting, but I >>felt like she was still treating me like a kid, even >>though I was in high school, and I was having a hard >>time with my attitude about that. Plus, I hated being >>grounded, because it basically just made me mad at >>her, and mad at myself, and when I felt that way all >>the time, it made everything worse. We had a really >>good and emotional talk. Finally, I asked her about >>her offhand comment, and if she really thought that I >>deserved a spanking for my attitude, maybe instead of >>grounding? She was definitely surprised. I quickly >>assured her that it was NOT something that I actually >>wanted, but I DID want the feeling of being forgiven >>and having a clean slate. I hated that there was >>always some feeling of tension between us. I said >>that if she had a non-spanking solution that would >>accomplish the same goal, then I was 100% on board, >>lol! She told me to go occupy myself for a while, >>because she needed to do some serious thinking, and we >>would talk more around dinner time. I spent a couple >>hours distractedly scrolling on my phone. I'm not >>sure what exactly she did, maybe googling what to do >>when your teenager suggests re-introducing spanking >>into your discipline strategy. Anyway, I'm sure you >>can guess what she decided. She made it clear, that >>just because this was my suggestion, I got no say in >>how or when I got spanked. She made the rules. If I >>felt upset by something, then she definitely wanted me >>to tell her, but I did not get to dictate my own >>discipline. I expected that, and didn't even try to >>argue. She outlined the rules she had come up with, >>and asked if I thought they were fair. I agreed that >>they were. Then she said that we might as well get my >>first spanking out of the way. I have no idea why I >>was surprised by that. REALLY should have seen that >>coming, lol. In retrospect, I think that first >>spanking was cathartic for both of us. The first few >>months were a bit of a learning curve, but we both >>settled into our new expectations, and we had several >>more really good talks. >> >> Two years later, and I don't have any regrets, >>despite the occasional sore backside. It was worth it >>to save my good relationship with my mom. Getting >>spanked didn't do that by itself. I think it was more >>about being really open and having good communication. >> But, I can't dismiss the positive aspect of being >>able to get that fresh start and let go of my guilt >>when I do screw up. >> >>I know all of this makes me a kinda weird kid. Other >>people on here have said that I get off on getting >>spanked by my mom. That is SO not true. There is >>absolutely nothing sexy about going over her knee. >>But as I've gotten older, I can admit that I wouldn't >>have kept coming back here, if I didn't have some kind >>of interest in the topic. Maybe, many years from >>now, it's something I'll explore with a girlfriend. >>But for now, I like being able to talk about it with >>someone when I get spanked, since I'm still too >>embarrassed to tell any of my friends. Whether it's >>commiserations, or someone telling me that I totally >>deserved the spanking, it's good to just express my >>feelings in an anonymous way. >> >>Well, this got WAY longer than I intended. I guess I >>felt the need to go back to the beginning, and >>explain my situation. >> >>Thanks again for your lovely comments, >> >>Debbie

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