Re: Guilty feelings -- Childhood Spanking Memories

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Subject: Re: Guilty feelings

Author:
Sonya
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Date Posted: 19:23:21 11/12/24 Tue
In reply to: Ginger 's message, "Guilty feelings" on 08:36:09 11/30/23 Thu

There are a few times I've felt guilty for things I've said or done and didn't get punished for it or should have been punished more than I was. But I have to keep in mind that they happened a long time ago and I shouldn't beat myself up over it.

The biggest one was the night Momma was spanking me when I was thirteen and I got mad mid-spanking and told her "I hate you". Like I said before at that point she stopped spanking me and let me up and then with a very hurt look in her eyes, she sent me to my room. Daddy came in a little later to talk to me and I figured he would probably blister my butt. But he didn't. Instead we talked for a long time and I broke down crying and apologizing. He just hugged me and told me, I needed to go talk to Momma and apologize to her. So I went to her and stood in front of her. It was obvious she had been crying, I really hurt her when I told her I hated her. I apologized to her and started crying. I sat down on her lap hugging her for all I was worth and apologizing. She accepted my apology and forgave me, but I still even now at thirty-six still feel some guilt. I almost wish she had given me another spanking. When I told this on another thread, I talked about calling her that night. I told her that I still feel guilty about it, but all she said, was "Hush baby, that was a long time ago."

The other time that really stands out, was when I was in sixth grade. I had a huge crush on my teacher. He was one of those men who could have been a movie star. Tall and gorgeous with brown eyes and wavy hair with a smile that could light up the darkest room. I think every girl in class was in love with him. I had it in my head when I grew up we would be getting married and having kids together. Problem was I would be daydreaming so much about him, I was too distracted in class. I had flunked a test because I wasn't paying attention and he gave me another chance. He had me stay after school and retake the test. While I was taking it, a really pretty woman came in and he got up and gave her a hug. He introduced her to me, it was his fiancee. He explained he was going to be held up for a little bit because I was taking a make up test. I got so angry with him, I almost tore up the test and left, but I needed the grade so, I finished. When I was done, I got up and left without saying a word to him. Over the next several days, I was deliberately rude to him. Silly as it sounds, he broke my heart. Finally, push came to shove and he couldn't deal with my new found bad attitude and told me to stay after school. I sat in my desk sulking and he walked up to me so serious and said, "What's the problem? What have I done to make you so angry at me?" I didn't want to say anything. He told me words to the effect of, "I don't want to have to punish you. So tell me what can I do to fix this." I asked him, "Are you going to paddle me?" and he told me, not if he didn't have to. Then he asked me what the problem is again. I was afraid he was going to laugh at me or think I was stupid. But I started tear up and said, "I love you." He just looked at me for a second and started smiling. I was expecting him to laugh but he didn't. He walked over to me and pulled a chair up and said, "That is really sweet." But Sonya, you're just about to turn twelve and I'm a lot older than that. Plus I'm engaged to a woman that I love with all my heart and soul." He went on to say that I was special to him and was one of his favorite students. He also told me one day I'd meet a boy and feel the way about him that he feels about his fiancee. I was still in tears but was smiling back at him while we talked. After talking for a few minutes, I asked him again if I was going to get paddled. He asked, "Do you think you deserve it?" I blushed and I nodded yes. He patted me on the hand and got up and walked to his desk and opened the drawer and pulled out a paddle. Then he called me up front. I swallowed hard and got up and walked over to the desk and without being told, I leaned over and put my hands on the desk top. Once I was in position, he drew back the paddle and gave me two light pops on the bottom that I barely even felt. Then put the paddle back in the desk and said, "That'll do." He smiled at me and asked if I was ok. I wiped my eyes and smiled back and said yes. Then I looked up at the clock and realized I was going to be late getting home and Momma would probably think I'd gotten in trouble. He said, I'll take you home and talk with your Mom and make sure everything's ok. Momma was a little confused to see him there with me, but he sat down and told her everything was fine and we just had to talk about a few things after school. Momma knew there had to be more to it and asked me to go to my room for a bit while she talked to him. So I thanked him for bringing me home and told him I'd see him tomorrow then went to my room. About thirty minutes later, Momma came to my room and told me we needed to have a talk. She was serious but not angry. I asked her, "Am I in trouble Momma?" and she told me I wasn't but we needed to talk about this crush I have on my teacher. She talked about when she was my age she had a crush on a teacher too and that crushes are ok, but it's important to keep it all in perspective and not let it interfere with my studies and personal matters. I still had a crush on him, but I didn't let it get in the way anymore. He was really sweet to me in spite of how I acted and there are times I think about it and that he should have really paddled me instead of the two little pops he gave me. Or Momma should have spanked me for making a fool of myself.

There are other times when I got off light or even got away with things I should have been spanked for, but those two stand out the most.

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Replies:

Subject Author Date

Re: Guilty feelings Steven for Sonya 15:02:03 10/09/25 Thu

Re: Guilty feelings -- Sonya, 17:24:40 10/09/25 Thu

Re: Guilty feelings -- Chris to Sonya, 17:24:19 10/12/25 Sun

Re: Guilty feelings -- Sonya, 20:46:10 10/12/25 Sun

Re: Guilty feelings -- Chris to Sonya, 10:36:37 10/13/25 Mon

Re: Guilty feelings -- Sonya to Chris, 11:51:02 10/13/25 Mon

Re: Guilty feelings -- Chris to Sonya, 21:44:11 10/13/25 Mon

Re: Guilty feelings -- Sonya, 08:28:31 10/15/25 Wed

Re: Guilty feelings -- Chris to Sonya, 19:57:25 10/15/25 Wed

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>There are a few times I've felt guilty for things I've >said or done and didn't get punished for it or should >have been punished more than I was. But I have to keep >in mind that they happened a long time ago and I >shouldn't beat myself up over it. > >The biggest one was the night Momma was spanking me >when I was thirteen and I got mad mid-spanking and >told her "I hate you". Like I said before at that >point she stopped spanking me and let me up and then >with a very hurt look in her eyes, she sent me to my >room. Daddy came in a little later to talk to me and I >figured he would probably blister my butt. But he >didn't. Instead we talked for a long time and I broke >down crying and apologizing. He just hugged me and >told me, I needed to go talk to Momma and apologize to >her. So I went to her and stood in front of her. It >was obvious she had been crying, I really hurt her >when I told her I hated her. I apologized to her and >started crying. I sat down on her lap hugging her for >all I was worth and apologizing. She accepted my >apology and forgave me, but I still even now at >thirty-six still feel some guilt. I almost wish she >had given me another spanking. When I told this on >another thread, I talked about calling her that night. >I told her that I still feel guilty about it, but all >she said, was "Hush baby, that was a long time ago." > >The other time that really stands out, was when I was >in sixth grade. I had a huge crush on my teacher. He >was one of those men who could have been a movie star. >Tall and gorgeous with brown eyes and wavy hair with a >smile that could light up the darkest room. I think >every girl in class was in love with him. I had it in >my head when I grew up we would be getting married and >having kids together. Problem was I would be >daydreaming so much about him, I was too distracted in >class. I had flunked a test because I wasn't paying >attention and he gave me another chance. He had me >stay after school and retake the test. While I was >taking it, a really pretty woman came in and he got up >and gave her a hug. He introduced her to me, it was >his fiancee. He explained he was going to be held up >for a little bit because I was taking a make up test. >I got so angry with him, I almost tore up the test and >left, but I needed the grade so, I finished. When I >was done, I got up and left without saying a word to >him. Over the next several days, I was deliberately >rude to him. Silly as it sounds, he broke my heart. >Finally, push came to shove and he couldn't deal with >my new found bad attitude and told me to stay after >school. I sat in my desk sulking and he walked up to >me so serious and said, "What's the problem? What have >I done to make you so angry at me?" I didn't want to >say anything. He told me words to the effect of, "I >don't want to have to punish you. So tell me what can >I do to fix this." I asked him, "Are you going to >paddle me?" and he told me, not if he didn't have to. >Then he asked me what the problem is again. I was >afraid he was going to laugh at me or think I was >stupid. But I started tear up and said, "I love you." >He just looked at me for a second and started smiling. >I was expecting him to laugh but he didn't. He walked >over to me and pulled a chair up and said, "That is >really sweet." But Sonya, you're just about to turn >twelve and I'm a lot older than that. Plus I'm engaged >to a woman that I love with all my heart and soul." He >went on to say that I was special to him and was one >of his favorite students. He also told me one day I'd >meet a boy and feel the way about him that he feels >about his fiancee. I was still in tears but was >smiling back at him while we talked. After talking for >a few minutes, I asked him again if I was going to get >paddled. He asked, "Do you think you deserve it?" I >blushed and I nodded yes. He patted me on the hand and >got up and walked to his desk and opened the drawer >and pulled out a paddle. Then he called me up front. I >swallowed hard and got up and walked over to the desk >and without being told, I leaned over and put my hands >on the desk top. Once I was in position, he drew back >the paddle and gave me two light pops on the bottom >that I barely even felt. Then put the paddle back in >the desk and said, "That'll do." He smiled at me and >asked if I was ok. I wiped my eyes and smiled back and >said yes. Then I looked up at the clock and realized I >was going to be late getting home and Momma would >probably think I'd gotten in trouble. He said, I'll >take you home and talk with your Mom and make sure >everything's ok. Momma was a little confused to see >him there with me, but he sat down and told her >everything was fine and we just had to talk about a >few things after school. Momma knew there had to be >more to it and asked me to go to my room for a bit >while she talked to him. So I thanked him for bringing >me home and told him I'd see him tomorrow then went to >my room. About thirty minutes later, Momma came to my >room and told me we needed to have a talk. She was >serious but not angry. I asked her, "Am I in trouble >Momma?" and she told me I wasn't but we needed to talk >about this crush I have on my teacher. She talked >about when she was my age she had a crush on a teacher >too and that crushes are ok, but it's important to >keep it all in perspective and not let it interfere >with my studies and personal matters. I still had a >crush on him, but I didn't let it get in the way >anymore. He was really sweet to me in spite of how I >acted and there are times I think about it and that he >should have really paddled me instead of the two >little pops he gave me. Or Momma should have spanked >me for making a fool of myself. > >There are other times when I got off light or even got >away with things I should have been spanked for, but >those two stand out the most.

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