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Subject: Re: Guilty feelings


Author:
Steven for Sonya
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Date Posted: 15:02:03 10/09/25 Thu
In reply to: Sonya 's message, "Re: Guilty feelings" on 19:23:21 11/12/24 Tue

>There are a few times I've felt guilty for things I've
>said or done and didn't get punished for it or should
>have been punished more than I was. But I have to keep
>in mind that they happened a long time ago and I
>shouldn't beat myself up over it.
>
>The biggest one was the night Momma was spanking me
>when I was thirteen and I got mad mid-spanking and
>told her "I hate you". Like I said before at that
>point she stopped spanking me and let me up and then
>with a very hurt look in her eyes, she sent me to my
>room. Daddy came in a little later to talk to me and I
>figured he would probably blister my butt. But he
>didn't. Instead we talked for a long time and I broke
>down crying and apologizing. He just hugged me and
>told me, I needed to go talk to Momma and apologize to
>her. So I went to her and stood in front of her. It
>was obvious she had been crying, I really hurt her
>when I told her I hated her. I apologized to her and
>started crying. I sat down on her lap hugging her for
>all I was worth and apologizing. She accepted my
>apology and forgave me, but I still even now at
>thirty-six still feel some guilt. I almost wish she
>had given me another spanking. When I told this on
>another thread, I talked about calling her that night.
>I told her that I still feel guilty about it, but all
>she said, was "Hush baby, that was a long time ago."
>
>The other time that really stands out, was when I was
>in sixth grade. I had a huge crush on my teacher. He
>was one of those men who could have been a movie star.
>Tall and gorgeous with brown eyes and wavy hair with a
>smile that could light up the darkest room. I think
>every girl in class was in love with him. I had it in
>my head when I grew up we would be getting married and
>having kids together. Problem was I would be
>daydreaming so much about him, I was too distracted in
>class. I had flunked a test because I wasn't paying
>attention and he gave me another chance. He had me
>stay after school and retake the test. While I was
>taking it, a really pretty woman came in and he got up
>and gave her a hug. He introduced her to me, it was
>his fiancee. He explained he was going to be held up
>for a little bit because I was taking a make up test.
>I got so angry with him, I almost tore up the test and
>left, but I needed the grade so, I finished. When I
>was done, I got up and left without saying a word to
>him. Over the next several days, I was deliberately
>rude to him. Silly as it sounds, he broke my heart.
>Finally, push came to shove and he couldn't deal with
>my new found bad attitude and told me to stay after
>school. I sat in my desk sulking and he walked up to
>me so serious and said, "What's the problem? What have
>I done to make you so angry at me?" I didn't want to
>say anything. He told me words to the effect of, "I
>don't want to have to punish you. So tell me what can
>I do to fix this." I asked him, "Are you going to
>paddle me?" and he told me, not if he didn't have to.
>Then he asked me what the problem is again. I was
>afraid he was going to laugh at me or think I was
>stupid. But I started tear up and said, "I love you."
>He just looked at me for a second and started smiling.
>I was expecting him to laugh but he didn't. He walked
>over to me and pulled a chair up and said, "That is
>really sweet." But Sonya, you're just about to turn
>twelve and I'm a lot older than that. Plus I'm engaged
>to a woman that I love with all my heart and soul." He
>went on to say that I was special to him and was one
>of his favorite students. He also told me one day I'd
>meet a boy and feel the way about him that he feels
>about his fiancee. I was still in tears but was
>smiling back at him while we talked. After talking for
>a few minutes, I asked him again if I was going to get
>paddled. He asked, "Do you think you deserve it?" I
>blushed and I nodded yes. He patted me on the hand and
>got up and walked to his desk and opened the drawer
>and pulled out a paddle. Then he called me up front. I
>swallowed hard and got up and walked over to the desk
>and without being told, I leaned over and put my hands
>on the desk top. Once I was in position, he drew back
>the paddle and gave me two light pops on the bottom
>that I barely even felt. Then put the paddle back in
>the desk and said, "That'll do." He smiled at me and
>asked if I was ok. I wiped my eyes and smiled back and
>said yes. Then I looked up at the clock and realized I
>was going to be late getting home and Momma would
>probably think I'd gotten in trouble. He said, I'll
>take you home and talk with your Mom and make sure
>everything's ok. Momma was a little confused to see
>him there with me, but he sat down and told her
>everything was fine and we just had to talk about a
>few things after school. Momma knew there had to be
>more to it and asked me to go to my room for a bit
>while she talked to him. So I thanked him for bringing
>me home and told him I'd see him tomorrow then went to
>my room. About thirty minutes later, Momma came to my
>room and told me we needed to have a talk. She was
>serious but not angry. I asked her, "Am I in trouble
>Momma?" and she told me I wasn't but we needed to talk
>about this crush I have on my teacher. She talked
>about when she was my age she had a crush on a teacher
>too and that crushes are ok, but it's important to
>keep it all in perspective and not let it interfere
>with my studies and personal matters. I still had a
>crush on him, but I didn't let it get in the way
>anymore. He was really sweet to me in spite of how I
>acted and there are times I think about it and that he
>should have really paddled me instead of the two
>little pops he gave me. Or Momma should have spanked
>me for making a fool of myself.
>
>There are other times when I got off light or even got
>away with things I should have been spanked for, but
>those two stand out the most.

Sonya, if your mother had offered to spank you to help relieve that childhood guilt, would you have submitted?

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Replies:
Subject Author Date
Re: Guilty feelingsSonya17:24:40 10/09/25 Thu


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