Re: Did you parents soften as they aged? -- Childhood Spanking Memories

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Subject: Re: Did you parents soften as they aged?

Author:
Jim W
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Date Posted: 00:03:25 02/28/25 Fri
In reply to: Allen 's message, "Did you parents soften as they aged?" on 04:51:36 02/26/25 Wed

Well, I can't speak to your parent's point of view, as I've never met them. But from the way you describe, it sounds like she changed her mind and doesn't really want to admit that she used to view it differently.

But that's just what I'm getting from your description. She should be a better authority on what she's thinking. At the very least, get her explanation for the change of heart, and then make your decision/opinion for yourself.

As for my own parents, I don't think they really had a change of heart or softening, but then my parents were never really Gung-Ho on spanking in the first place.

They believed in spanking to be sure, I got it plenty of times. My brothers got it even more more. But it was never the go-to solution for my Parents, certainly not for every problem.

And as far as I'm aware, my parents tried to avoid criticizing or judging other parents. At the very least, they didn't say anything in front of me, when I was growing up.

Actually when I was a parent myself, and I made a comment to one of them about the parents of my boy's friends, Mother and Father would be likely to point out to me that I have no idea what their point of view is. (Nor what they have to deal with)

I recall Mother saying, more than once: "The best judge for what a child needs, is their own parents."

(Presumably, because, the child's parents have the most at stake)

That said there were factors in the situation with my boys and my job (Factors that I don't want to get into in this forum) that has led me to conclude that it's not always the best advice.

But as a general rule, it is wise.

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Re: Did you parents soften as they aged? Cynthia 15:21:39 02/28/25 Fri

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>Well, I can't speak to your parent's point of view, as >I've never met them. But from the way you describe, it >sounds like she changed her mind and doesn't really >want to admit that she used to view it differently. > >But that's just what I'm getting from your >description. She should be a better authority on what >she's thinking. At the very least, get her explanation >for the change of heart, and then make your >decision/opinion for yourself. > >As for my own parents, I don't think they really had a >change of heart or softening, but then my parents were >never really Gung-Ho on spanking in the first place. > >They believed in spanking to be sure, I got it plenty >of times. My brothers got it even more more. But it >was never the go-to solution for my Parents, certainly >not for every problem. > >And as far as I'm aware, my parents tried to avoid >criticizing or judging other parents. At the very >least, they didn't say anything in front of me, when I >was growing up. > >Actually when I was a parent myself, and I made a >comment to one of them about the parents of my boy's >friends, Mother and Father would be likely to point >out to me that I have no idea what their point of view >is. (Nor what they have to deal with) > >I recall Mother saying, more than once: "The best >judge for what a child needs, is their own parents." > >(Presumably, because, the child's parents have the >most at stake) > >That said there were factors in the situation with my >boys and my job (Factors that I don't want to get into >in this forum) that has led me to conclude that it's >not always the best advice. > >But as a general rule, it is wise.

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