Author:
spelvin
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Date Posted: 04:30:17 04/02/26 Thu
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This may seem like a trivial question, but I’m curious:
Did you ever sleep the whole night, and did one of your cousins every sleep the whole night, with her holding your penis?
It seems that revulsion against touching a child’s genitals is not instinctive,
but rather created by the Stranger Danger campaign.
Betcha sisters in prehistoric time slept all night holding their brothers’ penises. I also betcha that’s the custom in other societies even today.
Among the Cayapá tribe of Ecuador, it is customary for parents and older siblings to a hold younger boy overhead and take the boy’s genitals in the mouth. This does not seem to be traumatic for the boy (Altschuler 1971).
At one time in Korea, but not today, it was acceptable to touch a boy in the genitals. Occasionally, an elderly Korean fails to keep up with the times, follows the time-honored custom, and gets into trouble (Kim 2017).
In some tribes, mothers stroke their children’s genitals as a sign of affection (Korbin 1987; Eibl-Eibesfeldt 1989: 434).
The Manchu tribe, a minority tribe in China, considers it sexually abusive. However, they think it’s perfectly all right for parents to tickle girl babies on the genitals or to practice fellatio on boy babies, However, they think it's sexually abusive to kiss a child on the cheek (Sharma 2014).
This is a question of cultural relativity. Among the Cayapá tribe of Ecuador, it is customary for parents and older siblings to a hold younger boy overhead and take the boy’s genitals in the mouth. This does not seem to be traumatic for the boy (Altschuler 1971).
At one time in Korea, but not today, it was acceptable to touch a boy in the genitals. Occasionally, an elderly Korean fails to keep up with the times, follows the time-honored custom, and gets into trouble (Kim 2017).
In some tribes, mothers stroke their children’s genitals as a sign of affection (Korbin 1987; Eibl-Eibesfeldt 1989: 434).
deMause (2002), however, reviews cases in which mothers in our society handling the children’s genitals, and those cases do not seem so innocent.
That sort of thing has not always been regarded as abusive even in European society. In fact, at one time, handling a child’s genitals was regarded as a magic ritual. In 1511, then, nobody was shocked when Hans Baldung Grien drew St. Anne handling the Christ child’s genitals (Steinberg 1983: 6-8).
Even in our own time, there have been a few acceptable cases of a minor’s genitals being handled by an older person opposite in gender. When Joseph (2012, Voy 206801) was 9-10 years old, his two older sisters tickled his genitals. He commented, “I liked the attention which I rarely got, and I didn’t care that I was getting their attention on my genitals.”
It does not seem that genital touching even needed to be confined to the family. Carla (2021, Voy 206801) assisted in coaching a boys-nude-girls-swimsuited swim team. There was a male coach and another female coach. Marla, the other female coach, would often have a close talk with a boy swimmer while holding his penis. Lance, the male coach, sometimes went nude, and she would do the same with him also. A girl on the team would sometimes follow Marla’s example by holding a boy’s penis.
Veteran swimmer ben (2021, Voy 20680) read Carla’s post and commented:
“I know for me being nude in front of an older woman in charge made me feel vulnerable but adding her holding me like that made the feelings and experience much more intense. Being held in her hand like that made me very docile almost.”
But were ben’s feelings altogether unpleasant? It doesn’t look that way:
“I wanted more. If she held me until I felt an erection coming on, I wanted her to keep holding me. She had complete control of me and I didn't fight it at all.”
Was that the consensus of the male team members? Apparently so:
“We all talked about it after practices as we showered. Not one of us really complained about it. She had the power after all.”
Here again, the girl team members followed the example:
“It wasn't that common but sometimes one of our girl teammates would do that as well mostly to show dominance, I think. They would see the coach doing it and figured it was normal for them to do it to get us to pay attention to them.”
You be the judge.
Altschuler, M. 1971. Cayapá personality and sexual motivation. In Marshall, D. S. & Suggs, R. C., ed. Human sexual behavior: Variations in the ethnographic spectrum. New York: Basic Books: 38-58.
deMause, L. 2002. The emotional life of nations. New York: Karnac: Chapter 7: Childhood and cultural evolution. https://psychohistory.com/books/the-emotional-life-of-nations/chapter-7-childhood-and-cultural-evolution/
Eibl-Eibesfeldt, I. 1989. Human ethology. New York: De Gruyter; New York.
Kim, D. H. 2017. Touching a boy’s penis was once part of the Korean culture, but now it became a crime. Jeju Weekly (October 27). http://www.jejuweekly.com/news/articleView.html?idxno=5815
Korbin, J. E. 1987. Child sexual abuse: Implications from the cross-cultural record. In Sheper-Hughes, N., ed. Child survival: Anthropological perspectives on the treatment and maltreatment of children. Boston: D. Reidel Publishing Co.: 247-265.
Steinberg, L. 1983. The sexuality of Christ in Renaissance and modern oblivion. New York: Pantheon.
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