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Date Posted: 20:40:28 04/03/02 Wed
Author: Carly
Subject: Re: Um...help
In reply to: Toby 's message, "Um...help" on 13:32:12 03/27/02 Wed

On line relationships are things that we often fall in to, listening only to our heart and not our heads...so you are at a good stage, where you can consider all the pros and cons...for there are a lot of wonderful things about online dating but it is very hard, frustrating and time consuming as well as having a very little success rate .
Usually it evolves to where you start spending alot of time on the phone,, pics need to be sent often and right away so that you don't become unrealistic fantasies........and you have to be very committed to making things work, for, they are more intense than a real life one and the pain can be tremendous!
I have an online boyfriend whom I have been involved with on and off for 2 yrs now. While I love him and cherish the time we spend together.......I would not do this again.
It is backwards that we develop all the feelings first and then meet......often one is not attracted to the other in rl, or there is no chemistry...or they are not quite how you imagined them to be and thus seem like strangers........it is not an easy road to walk or a relationship one should commit to lightly. KNowing the worst and best of it........I have to honestly say I would never do this again.
I guess I would want to meet first and establish attraction and in life compatibility before I invested so much finacially( they are very expensive relationships with the long distance phone calls, mailing gifts etc) or emotionally!
I think you also need to consider your ages, your distance from each other and level of trust....in net relationships there has to be more trust than in rl ones as we are far away from our loved ones and the temptation of real alife pppl can be a real pull when we are out and they are so far away and we have those days where we question is iot alal worth it????????
Geography is really important too for how committed do you want to be to someone who is so far away it may take you a year to meet, and if it does not work out it is over after one week end in rl? That happens alot!
If you do decide to continue, let nature take its' course and set the pace.
Good luck!

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