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Date Posted: 01:20:31 04/27/02 Sat
Author: Phillippa
Subject: It Really Does Work Sometimes!

I just wanted to write a quick message of hope for folks who are unsure about the whole "Internet Meeting" thing. I was a HUGE skeptic, but after spending 8 years of not meeting anyone after a brief marriage & divorce, my hair dresser (no kidding!) told me she'd met a really nice guy on-line, and that I should try it. So I did. I joined a trial period and then a 3-month on-line service, and after 3 months, I decided that there were just as many losers on-line as in the rest of the world. But I learned a lot. I learned that meeting people on-line is a lot different than in person. It takes a different type of patience to get to know someone in emails, and there's a progression of revealing yourself that can help you decide if the other person is right for you. But, at the 3-month mark, I was really discouraged, so I stopped looking. I only looked at email occasionally, and that was it. And He found me. He wrote a short light-hearted note which, to be polite, I answered. He turned out to be a wonderful writer (isn't it hard to be as funny as you are in person while writing?), and we had a great time writing. Then we decided to talk on the phone. It was so-o awkward, at first. Then, we discovered we were the same people we were who wrote funny letters and had serious discussions about our histories, families, and health troubles. It's not that there weren't problems, there were -- distance!! (A lot of folks on here have this problem) And -- age!! He was mainly concerned about the distance (He was from Chicago; Me from Washington, D.C.; Neither of us had travelling jobs). I was mainly concerned about the age difference (I'm 5 years older, and for some reason, it was a horrible blow to my ego to meet a younger man. Sorry if that sounds trite, but it was true!) So, we worked on the problems. We decided to meet. (He came to DC twice because I was (re: health problems) too sick to travel at that time.) It was so-o awkward at first!! My first words to him in person were "Thank God we never have to do this again!" It took time to get over the stress of each new level of exposure. But you know what? We were a great match. And we both wanted it to work. So we worked on the problems. His career could be found anywhere; mine was only in 3-4 places in the country, so he moved to DC and found (Thank God!) a really good job. And I worked on my age hang-ups. I talked to him and my girlfriends about it, and just started to deal with it and deal a blow to my (stupid) ego. And I took care of my health problems and got better.
So, we married in December. And I'm so happy to have him (and He me!!) that I'm teary-eyed as I'm writing this. We're just good together. We don't try to change each other. I'm still older. He misses his family in Chicago. But sometimes, it just works out. There's still problems. And we're just trying to work on those, too. Some people have been judgemental that we met on-line. We try to talk to his family often and plan visits to Chicago so they know they'll still see him, and that they're a part of our lives.
Anyway, I just wanted to write. Maybe our story will encourage some of you. I think there's always troubles, in this life, but sometimes, the "on-line meeeting" thing does work!

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