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Subject: Well, I was REALLY bored the other night and I deiced to make this poem. I haven't added the commas or any ounction to it yet I just wanted to see if the wording and the poem itself was allright


Author:
Flamearrow
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Date Posted: 22:33:26 11/15/03 Sat



Will I Live or Die?

Does death sound so sweet?
Being able to leave this cruel world
To go to the other side in a heartbeat
All I need to do is snap this cord

There is a bridge that I need to cross
I have to get to the other side
The death angel is the boss
I must cross and go to the deadly side

No one cares for me on the living side
Sure, I have friends but would they care?
I must awake and bid my goodbyes
I am sure that they would not even care

Over the bridge, I see light
It is a very pretty sight
This is it; I must go to it,
But why can I not reach it?

No No
Let me go
I want to leave this place
I want to go to my rightful place

Too many voices in my head
One says don’t go stay here instead
The other says come to your dying bed
My head hurts I just want to be dead

All the voices now stop
But one stays and speaks
Do not go, but stay on top,
Open your eyes take a peak

My head begins to ease
I can hear one voice
That friendly voice that pleases me
I have now made my final choice

My eyes open wide
The light hurts my eyes
To my surprise
I see all my friends cry

Do not worry I start to say
I’m hear to stay
Do not worry or pray
For I’m here to stay

I thought it was allright, my reading/LA teachers liked it. So did you guys like it? If you have any tips please tell me or do you know a way to make this poem better? All the help from you guys will be GREAT!

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Replies:
Subject Author Date
I love it! It reminds of the poem I wrote,'My Fluffy Little Cloud'. My LA teacher says nonryming poems are very proffesional. Though, I still don't get why.... (NT)Jordan the Wanderer03:19:51 11/16/03 Sun
Very angsty. Don't worry, people care about you! (NT)Jade21:43:13 11/17/03 Mon
Oh my gosh! I'm going to pray for you, Flamearrow. (NT)Jade20:58:46 11/18/03 Tue


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