| Subject: Whoops! She skipped a chapter. IGNORE THE LAST POST, PEOPLES! She skipped the chapter about Cluny, so I'll give it to you. |
Author:
Whiteye
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Date Posted: 00:09:48 05/28/03 Wed
The afternoon sun shone down on Cluny the Scourge! Cluny was coming!
The cart was drawn by a terrified horse! It was full of vicious vermin!
"Vamanos a Redwall!" Cluny roared insanely!
Some said Cluny was a Paraguyan rat! Others said he came from vast jungles across wide oceans! Nobeast knew for sure!
"Ah, senorita? Puedo hablar ingles ahora?" ("Er, miss? Can I speak English now?")
I never told you to speak Spanish!
"All right. On to Redwaaaaall!"
Cluny was a one-eyed rat! He had lost his eye in a battle with a giant anchovy! Cluny had lost an eye! The anchovy had lost its life! Then the cart came to a screeching halt!
"Redwall? We're going to Redwall?" A rat in the vicinity squeaked.
Good grief, you squeak better than Matthias.
"Arr! Shutcher face! We're goin' to Redwall! Arr!"
"But...but...Chief! Them Redwallers, they're fearsome! They'll...they'll..."
"Arr! Cowardly rat! They'll what? Arr!"
The rat, Skullface, trembled like a leaf in the wind. "Chief...them Redwallers...they'll...they'll SING at us!"
...er...well, I guess that might make sense to a rat...
Skullface burst into tears. "Boohoohoo! Me ol' maw and paw used to tell me horrible stories 'bout that place! I heard one of them awful songs once, far in the distance! 'Welcome to the feast, you beast, I hope you trip and fall, I've got a fat grandpa, ha ha ha..."
Skullface! That's the wrong book!
"Don't yell at me! Nobeast likes me! Nobeast! Boohoohoo!"
"Aw, Skullface, we all like you, don't we, boys?" Cluny simpered.
"Yep, that's right, Chief!" The rats sniggered unpleasantly.
Skullface sniffled. "Thanks, guys, I feel so much bet...waaaaaaarrg!"
Cluny booted Skullface off the cart!
"Owwwwwwiiiieee!" Skullface wailed as he hurtled through the air!
"Heeheehoohoohaha! Tell the devil Cluny sent you, Skullface!" Cluny roared.
That wasn't very nice, Cluny.
"Arr! Shaddap! Arr!"
You tell me to shut up again and I'll turn you into a.a clam!
"Arr! Shaddap! Arr!"
Clam CHOWDER!
"Arr! Shaddap! Arr!"
With PARSLEY!
Cluny stopped in mid-chuckle, his single eye tearing up. "P-p- parsley?"
That's right, PARSLEY!
Cluny wailed and threw himself to the floor of the cart. "Noooo! My allergies! Not the parsley! Anything but the parsley!"
Then behave yourself, and stop killing off your poor rats!
Cluny sniffled, pulled himself to his feet, and roared, "On to Redwaaaaall! Arr! Arr!"
A signpost blew past, bearing the inscription, "Redwall Abbey, 15 miles"!
Cluny was a God of War!
"That's right, I'm Ares!" boasted Cluny proudly!
Cluny was coming nearer!
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