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• She woke up to the sound of the shower running and for a moment she forgot about all their problems, instead just thought back to before he had left for L.A. when she would wake up to the sound of the shower and then go join him..shaking her head from those thoughts she stood up out of bed, tugging her robe around her frame before she padded into the kitchen, an absent smile crossing her lips as she saw the coffee brewing. A soft sigh escaped her lips as reality once again crashed down. He would be leaving again for L.A probably today for all she knew, he'd be there for at least another six to eight months, she'd see him maybe once a month. After the album was out they would have to go on tour for another half year to a year...it would be nearly two years before she could even just two weeks with waking up to him in the shower and having coffee brewing. (NT) -- Bianca, 12:00:54 05/29/05 Sun

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• Similiar thoughts had been working slowly through his mind, yet he still hated the idea of this having to be the end of it. The band was his career, and it took him away from her more often than not, but he wasn't really willing to accept the fact that he just couldn't have her for his girlfriend just because of his job. There had to be other reasons. Finally, he turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, and joined her in the kitchen once he had pulled on boxers and a clean pair of jeans. He offered a hesitant smile as he pouring them boths cups of coffee and then turned to face her. "Sleep okay?" (NT) -- Gav, 12:05:02 05/29/05 Sun

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• "I, uh, already had a cup." She stated, pushing the mug back to him, offering him a slight apolagetic smile. "Sorry." She had come to realize that if she put anything in her stomach it had to be something like ginger ale or crackers, otherwise it was just painful. Even the coffee would grip her stomach, causing her body to try and get every nutrient it could out of the liquid all the while eating up her insides as it did so. It wasn't fun so she had just stopped eating all together basically. Water, protein drinks and occasionally some ginger ale or sprite or something. "I slept ok..." The bags under her eyes stated a different answer though. "You?" (NT) -- Bianca, 12:08:31 05/29/05 Sun

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• "It's okay..." He assured her quietly before nodding slowly, but her with a concerned frown. "Yeah? I slept alright too, I guess..." So they were both lying, but he thought it would be pretty dumb to say that he had had trouble sleeping because they were fighting... But then he was reminded that this was way more than just fighting. They were past fighting, which was a terrifying realization. (NT) -- Gavin, 12:15:48 05/29/05 Sun

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• "Yeah..what time are you heading back?" She questioned softly, the small talk a little strained. "Bet the boys are lost without you there..." She smiled just a touch at the thought of the band boys, she adored all of them, they were such sweethearts. "I saw Mattie the other day, he said he misses you and thinks about you every day..." The little man was so dedicated to Bianca and Gavin - he would be more crushed then anyone to hear of the break up. He had adamantly denied that Gavin would ever do what the papers said, that Gavin loved Bianca and they were perfect. (NT) -- Bianca, 21:29:48 05/29/05 Sun

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• "Tonight, I have to fly back..." He stated almost reluctantly, and then smiled a little. Sure, he and the guys had their moments and entertained the occasional shouting match, and every once in a while someone may take a swing, but they all loved each other like brothers. "Yeah, Dust and Johnny have probably been snoozing by the pool since I left... Mike probably hasn't left the studio." His smile lingered at the mention of Matty - he wouldn't get a chance to say 'hi' to his devoted dealer that weekend, but maybe he would be back again sometime soon. "Tell him that I miss him too if you see him around again..." They were totally avoiding the inevitable though and it seemed that they both knew it. (NT) -- Gavin, 21:51:15 05/29/05 Sun

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• "Yeah...I will." She bit her lip lightly, her brow furrowed a touch as she shifted her weight. "So..talk to your 'rents lately?" It was all small talk, just putting off the words that she know would evantually tear her apart. It was only a matter of time before it happened though and pushing it away wasn't going to help anything in the least. It was just the easiest thing to do at the moment. (NT) -- Bianca, 21:55:51 05/29/05 Sun

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• "Nope..." He shook his head slowly, but he didn't really talk to his parents much at all - really just on birthdays and holidays. With a soft sigh, he was silent for another moment before turning to face her, tone serious. "I don't want this to be the end of things, Bianca." Obviously they couldn't go back to the way they used to be, and some things needed to be worked out and changed, but he was too scared of what it would mean for them both if they just totally gave up. (NT) -- Gavin, 22:04:07 05/29/05 Sun

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• She let out a soft breath, leaning against the counter as she watched him for a second. "I don't really want this to be either..." She pursed her lips, her eyes thoughtful. "...but there's a lot wrong here..." She wasn't sure how they could work them out either, not with him so far away and her always travelling - they didn't have any time for 'them'. A long distance relationship wasn't the easiest thing in the world, either... (NT) -- Bianca, 22:24:54 05/29/05 Sun

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• "I know..." He exhaled softly, and watched her just as carefully - uncertain where the solution could be found - and then just shrugged a little. "Maybe we just need to take a little bit of time to think things through..." Some 'alonetime' might give them a chance to sort out their own personal thoughts and feelings. It seemed like neither of them really knew where they personally stood, and he didn't see how they could be in a relationship if they didn't even know where they were themselves. (NT) -- Gavin, 22:32:30 05/29/05 Sun

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• Her brow furrowed a touch at that, a flash of hurt crossing her face at the thought of them. "Like...take a 'break'?" She questioned softly, her fingers trailing along the counter top. Taking a break was just a nice way of saying I don't want to be with you anymore. Right now, all she really wanted to do was go cry to her daddy and let him make everything better like he always had in the past... (NT) -- Bianca, 22:43:11 05/29/05 Sun

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• "I don't know, B... You say that you don't know if we can even love each other even more, but I don't want to give up completely..." His brows furrowed deeply - he hated the hurt in her features, but refused to take all the blame because atleast he was suggesting something that may allow them to get this figured out one day. Exhaling softly, he shrugged a little and crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back against the counter. (NT) -- Gavin, 22:49:19 05/29/05 Sun

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• She nodded slightly after a second, biting her lip as she thought this over before she just nodded again. "Yeah, alright..I guess a break could be good, just a chance to clear our heads and stuff..." She let out a soft breath as she let her eyes meet his, her head tipped to the side. "I'll miss you." She spoke honestly, her eyes on him focused and clear. (NT) -- Bianca, 22:57:32 05/29/05 Sun

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• He nodded slowly, agreeably, and then sighed quietly, reaching out to very gently tug her into his arms - half-expecting her to resist but not really caring. "I'll miss you too, B..." His voice was soft - he missed her as it was when he was away and she was here. He imagined that that would only be worse with them on this 'break'. It all seemed so hopeless to him. (NT) -- Gavin, 23:01:22 05/29/05 Sun

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• She hesitated a moment before she rested her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist - he had lost some weight too. Her brow furrowed as she noticed it and then remembered his slightly strung out apperance from the day before. Her hand drew down his arm, taking the darkly bruised track marks. "Even though we aren't together...just..be careful, alright Gav?" She murmured softly, her voice just gently concerned. She hated seeing him get so lost in the drugs... (NT) -- Bianca, 23:13:11 05/29/05 Sun

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• He gave her a squeeze - but a gentle one because she felt like he could break her so easily - and then shook his head a little, brows furrowing gently. "I'm careful, love..." It was impossible to really be careful though when you were involved in the things that he was though, and that was the argument that his bandmates made most often. He kissed her cheek gently, fingers pushing back her hair. "You too, Bianca." (NT) -- Gavin, 23:20:07 05/29/05 Sun

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• She nodded softly, her head going back to his chest as she caught the sound of his heart and just held herself though, her eyes sliding shut as she once again tried to fight the tears in her eyes. She just wanted everything to work out but suddenly they weren't together anymore and he was going to leave in a little while to go back to a whole different life in L.A.... (NT) -- Bianca, 23:27:55 05/29/05 Sun

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• He just held her close, chin rested on top her head and eyes lightly shut for a long while. "We'll talk soon..." He murmured, almost in promise - as much because he needed to believe that as because he wanted her to believe it. Quiet again, he kissed the top of her head and fell silent once more, just lost it thought. (NT) -- Gavin, 23:38:31 05/29/05 Sun