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• She was curled up on the couch, she had lost so much weight over the past week, she looked sickly, unhealthily pale and her bones to prominant. She had been sick the past few days, one of the reasons that she hadn't been on the phone with him long was because she felt so bad. She looked as shitty as he did. A low breath escaped her lips as she heard the knock and she forced herself out of bed to open the door. "Hey.." She murmured softly, biting her lip, unsure of what to say to him at the moment. (NT) -- Biana, 07:06:03 05/29/05 Sun

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• He ran a hand slowly through his hair as he stood out in the hall for a moment, and then stepped almost hesitantly inside. He touched her arm lightly and paused before pressing a brief, light kiss to her cheek - unsure just how to greet her but eventually figuring that that option was reasonnably safe. "Hey B..." His voice was soft and he offered a slow and definitely uncertain smile - he had no idea what to say to either, unsure where their relationship stood. (NT) -- Gavin, 07:15:59 05/29/05 Sun

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• She offered a slight, tired smile that obviously didn't reach her eyes before she closed and locked the door behind him. "I was just lying down...are you tired? Want a shower?" She paused a second, her brow furrowed. "If your hungry you could order something in, I don't really have much here." All she had in the fridge were a couple of protein drinks, a jar of mustard and some old take out that was long past its due date to be thrown out. (NT) -- Biana, 07:24:06 05/29/05 Sun

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• "You okay?" He questioned firstly - most importantly, brows gently furrowed. "Look like you're not feeling too great... I don't have to stay here if you don't want me to..." His voice was soft - quiet, but just because it was intended only for her, not for anyone else. Seeing her made it harder for him to not feel so bad about all this - until this moment he had been able to pretend that what he had done had brought on some bad publicity, but at least no one had been hurt. The truth was, obviously, that people had been hurt - just because he hadn't been able to keep it in his pants when tempted. (NT) -- Gav, 07:31:49 05/29/05 Sun

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• "Just tired." She murmured softly, gesturing to the living room. "Come on, your probably tired, did you want a shower or anything?" She was acting like to much of a host, this had been as much his place as hers every other time he was home and this was just awkward. She wasn't sure what to do though. Self consciously, she tugged down the tank top to cover her midriff - even she knew that she was too skinny at this point, you could count out each and every one of her fragile ribs. (NT) -- Bianca, 07:41:04 05/29/05 Sun

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• "Maybe a little later... You wanna lie down? I'm fine..." He frowned gently, watching her for a long moment before heading slowly into the kitchen to get himself a drink. This was awkward - but more because he just didn't have a clue what she was thinknig about him, or their situation, or life in general. A little bit of mystery was typical for them - they had never really communicated all that well - but complete cluelessness was a new sort of thing and he had no idea how even to go about starting to figure things out. (NT) -- Gavin, 08:02:59 05/29/05 Sun

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• She watched him for a second, it was obvious that he was still running on the remnants of a buzz but she couldn't fault him for that. Instead, she turned sad eyes towards the bedroom. "Um sure...I mean, if your tired..I am ok." She headed down the hallway, slipping back between the sanctity of the covers as she called back. "Bring me a drink? There's some protein drinks on the top shelf." Not that they would be hard to find in the barren fridge. (NT) -- Bianca, 08:26:07 05/29/05 Sun

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• He grabbed a drink for her and a glass of water for himself before padding slowly after her. Stretching out on his stomach on the edge of the king-sized bed on top of the covers, he passed her her drink and set down his water, resting his head on one arm as he watched her. "Have you had to talk to many reporters?" He didn't want to avoid the topic forever - not that he really wanted to talk about it, but just that he couldn't pretend like it wasn't hanging over both their heads. (NT) -- Gav, 08:33:41 05/29/05 Sun

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• She took a sip of the drink before she set it aside, her brow furrowed gently as she looked up at the ceiling. "Yeah, the other day I talked to someone from people. Just said that I was sure it was a big misunderstanding and that we would get it all sorted out..that I supported you and would stand by your side and all that stuff." She had put up a good front and worn loose clothes and a lot of makeup to cover her thin, haggard apperance. (NT) -- Bianca, 08:53:00 05/29/05 Sun

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• He nodded a little, eyes lingering on her - she really wasn't looking so good, merely a shadow of her former once great self. "Thanks..." He really didn't care though anymore what sort of opinion the press had of him - much to their publicist's dismay. The record company was getting even more particular about appearences. He propped his head up a little and was quiet a while longer before speaking once more. "Do you want me to stay at my place this weekend?" (NT) -- Gavin, 08:59:16 05/29/05 Sun

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• She looked hesitant and unsure, expressions to foreign to her sharp features. Her lip tucked between her teeth before she looked over at him finally - her dark eyes having lost nearly all of their spark, their life - questioning him with her gaze and her words. "Do you want to stay at your place this weekend?" She just wanted to make this all better, to make it not hurt anymore. (NT) -- Bianca, 09:08:57 05/29/05 Sun

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• "Not really..." But he didn't want to be here if she didn't want him to be. He figured he had caused her enough grief - the last thing he wanted was to make her anymore uncomfortable. Sighing softly, he shifted onto his back and rested one hand behind his head - head turned so that he could watch her. He thought that maybe watching her would give him some indication as to what she was thinking about all this. (NT) -- Gavin, 09:16:31 05/29/05 Sun

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• She shifted over onto her side, her fingers almost hesitantly reaching out to brush his long hair back from his face before she dropped to the pillow beside his head. "What are you going to do if it is yours?" She questioned softly, the way she just didn't address him leaving giving proof that she wanted him to stay. She wasn't feeling so good, something was wrong and she knew it and she just wanted to fix things before he went away again. (NT) -- Bianca, 09:26:26 05/29/05 Sun

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• "It's not..." He insisted softly, subtley scooting just a fraction closer to her - not wanting to discourage the amicable behavior. "But if it is... Pay child support, I guess." He murmured quietly - though he truly didn't believe that the child was his, he would accept monetary responsibility if it happened to be his. And he would be as much of a father to the child as a young, drug-addicted musician could be, but would not be not be willing to accept any major responsibilities. (NT) -- Gavin, 09:31:21 05/29/05 Sun

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• She nodded a touch at that, her eyes on his, searching his features as if looking for the slightest sign of deceit. "You always used protection with all the other girls?" She questioned again, they weren't easy questions to ask and she was sure that they weren't easy for him to answer but they needed to get all of this out into the open. They needed to work through these problems, she just had a bad feeling about the future. (NT) -- Bianca, 09:42:01 05/29/05 Sun

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• "Always." He promised without hesitation - no matter how heated the situation, and whether or not him and Bianca were even speaking at the time, he was always aware of the risks of not using protection and the dangers that it could put him, and her in the long run, in if he got careless. He wasn't that thoughtless. He really didn't like these sorts of conversations, but she had every right to ask him whatever she wished right now, and he would answer honestly. (NT) -- Gavin, 09:49:26 05/29/05 Sun

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• She nodded slowly, letting out a soft breath before she rolled back onto her back, staring up at the ceiling. "What are you thinking? Honestly, whats been going on through your mind these past two weeks?" She wanted to know, had he missed her? Had he been concerned about their relationship? Had he been worried about her? Already there was a suspicious shine to her eyes, her lip worried between her teeth once she fell silent. (NT) -- Bianca, 09:54:36 05/29/05 Sun

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• He really didn't know what to say to that - he didn't even know what had been going through his own mind. When he was working, he stayed so busy that he could do think of absolutely nothing else, and when he wasn't working - he was so strung out that if he even entertained coherent thoughts, he didn't remember what they were by the time he woke up. "I don't even know, B... I just wish I knew what you were thinking..." (NT) -- Gavin, 09:57:51 05/29/05 Sun

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• She shrugged a little, her eyes going away from him completely, gazing steadily at the wall instead. She smirked, a humorless laugh escaping her lips. "I think I have been thinking to much for me to even know what I am thinking anymore." She shifted a touch uncomfortably in the bed, she always was uncomfortable, anything touching her skin felt like it was bruising her. (NT) -- Bianca, 10:06:59 05/29/05 Sun

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• "I feel like there's no way I can make this up to you, Bianca..." He stated after a moment of silence, and completely honestly. He wouldn't blame her if she couldn't forgive him, but at the same time, he couldn't see how he could try and convince her to forgive him. He hadn't slept with anyone else in months, and that was the biggest thing for him - he thought atleast. Of course, he hadn't been on tour either, but he had been in LA recording and girls had been easy to access - yet he hadn't partaken. (NT) -- Gavin, 10:16:55 05/29/05 Sun

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• She bit her lip softly, thinking for a few long moments before she spoke again - still avoiding his eyes - her words soft and halting. "I..don't feel like your the same guy I fell in love with back then, Gav. Your someone so different..." She let out a low breath, her brows knitted thoughtfully. "...but I am not the same girl you fell in love with either...." Her head shifted to look at him for a second before she avoided her eyes quickly once again. "I..I don't know..." (NT) -- Bianca, 10:36:56 05/29/05 Sun

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• He exhaled slowly at that - more as if he had just taken a blow to the gut, not just been told the truth. Of course they had both changed a lot - when they had fallen in love, he played in a garage band and she was still dreaming - but hearing her tell him straight out that he was so different called for a serious gut check. All of a sudden, he was questioning all the choices he had made over the years and the way in which he was living his life - it seemed he had lost himself somewhere along the way. "You don't know...? As in, you don't know if you love me anymore?" (NT) -- Gavin, 10:43:54 05/29/05 Sun

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• "I don't know...I just..I'm wondering if the people we are now are even capable of love like we used to have. It was so sweet, innocent, trusting...simple..." She shrugged a touch, her hand running over her face as she tried to block the tears that were threatening to break over her lashes. Her voice nearly broke as another humorless laugh escaped her lips, her eyes bleak and tired. "God, Gavin, I don't even know the last time we used the word love in reference to each other...years." (NT) -- Bianca, 10:47:20 05/29/05 Sun

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• "Things have changed, B, but it's always been there.. For me..." He informed her softly - though he had hardly acted like it so much of the time, he had never stopped loving her even for a moment. He wasn't even sure why though. They fought too much and didn't communicate, they were unfaithful to each other, and blatantly hurtful at times... Yet he simply couldn't imagine not coming home to her - truthfully, she was home. She was the only reason he ever came back here and the only reason that this was still 'home'. "If I can't love you anymore, I don't think I can love anything." (NT) -- Gavin, 10:53:28 05/29/05 Sun

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• Her eyes were squeezed shut against the burning feel of tears stinging at her lids, she didn't want to cry. They still weren't touching, weren't even looking for her - their words just whispers in the dark room. Her fingers twisted in the comforter, a low breath escaping her lips in order to try and fight back the sobs. "I miss the way we were then...hell, I kind of miss not caring, not thinking about things like this..." She swallowed heavily. "This..whatever we are now, whatever we are doing..it's so hard and it hurts so much.." (NT) -- Bianca, 10:58:15 05/29/05 Sun

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• The thought that popped into his mind at that very instant was that if this was so hard and hurt so much, maybe it was time to give up... But he couldn't bare to speak the words - it was hard enough just to be thinking them - so he just shook his head slowly. "Everything was easier back then though, Bianca... All our problems aren't going to disappear so simply..." And he worried what would happen to her if he wasn't around - not that he was around all the time now, and hell, maybe she'd be better off if he wasn't in her life, but he still hated that thought. (NT) -- Gavin, 11:01:55 05/29/05 Sun

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• "Yeah...guess not." She murmured softly, nothing could ever be easy or simple. Everything came at a price and it seemed that their fame had cost them what they at one time had - each other, completely totally possesing each other - that was gone now. She wasn't sure what was left to say or do, though she figured the words that they were done needed to come out of one of their mouths to provide some closure but obviously, both of them were reluctant to actually say it. (NT) -- Bianca, 11:06:40 05/29/05 Sun

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• He refused completely to say anything along those lines so just stared wordlessly at her, brows gently furrowed and eyes quiet - almost vacant, as if he had nearly checked out of this situation all together. He had never handled stress well - it wasn't like he flipped out or anything, but he just didn't address it. He would rather prefer that something hadn't happened or wasn't happening, then to acknowledge the problem and try to accept or fix it. "I don't know what we can do." (NT) -- Gavin, 11:18:41 05/29/05 Sun

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• "Me either." She murmured in return, her eyes sliding shut as she shifted in the bed, her brow furrowed as something dug into her delicate skin. The blanket fell down a touch, revealing the bruises on her arms and the prominant placement of her ribs in the sheer tank top. "You should get some rest, maybe, jet lag and all that..." She swallowed softly, unsure of what to say. (NT) -- Bianca, 11:27:01 05/29/05 Sun

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• He had, of course, taken note of her deteriorating condition, but was in no position to comment on it right then, so just pushed the thought aside with a slight frown and then nodded a little. "Sleep on it... We can talk in the morning?" Ever hopeful, he looked to her again - maybe they would be in better moods in the morning and could actually talk this out, solve their problems rather than turn away from them. (NT) -- Gavin, 11:30:26 05/29/05 Sun

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• She nodded softly, sending him a slight smile, though it was bittersweet. "Yeah..we can talk in the morning." She murmured softly before she turned over on her side, her eyes focusing on the wall for a few long minutes before they drifted shut. Rare in the past few months had there been a night when they were together when he wasn't holding her while she slept but now..well they were barely even speaking much less touching, besides, it would probably just hurt her sensitive flesh. (NT) -- Bianca, 11:34:22 05/29/05 Sun

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• "Alright... Night B..." He murmured softly before slowly turning over as well so that their backs were to each other - honestly, he couldn't remember the last time they had fallen asleep in the same bed without touching. He wasn't even underneath all the blankets that she was. He was even tempted to sleep on the couch, but he really would rather be as close to her as was appropriate. Who knew - this could be the last night he spent with her... (NT) -- Gav, 11:39:31 05/29/05 Sun