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Subject: Do khong phai la loi thoat cho su be tac (5/5/01)


Author:
Quan
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Date Posted: Sat, Sep 01 2001, 2:11:58

Cac ban Gay than men,

Toi da tung tu suy nghi va phan tich nhieu ve van de dong tinh luyen ai. Toi doc nhieu sach bao de nghe cac chuyen gia tam ly va y khoa phan tich. Toi chiem nghiem ban than minh. Toi nhin ra nhung nguoi ban Gay xung quanh toi. Cuoi cung, toi thay khong co cai nao la sai, ma cung khong co cai nao la dung hoan toan ca.

Su thuc, ngay ca o cac nuoc phuong Tay, noi ma luat phap thua nhan van de Gay la hop phap va tao moi dieu kien de cac Gay duoc sinh hoat cong khai, thi ban than cua tung con nguoi dong tinh luyen ai ay van doi dien voi 1 su be tac, ma su rong rai cua luat phap cung khong the nao giai quyet cho ho duoc. Tai sao vay? Toi xin man phep neu quan diem cua toi tren dien dan, hy vong rang phan nao do chia se duoc nhung noi niem cua cac ban, dong thoi cung cac ban dinh huong lai loi di cho tat ca chung ta.

1.
Thu nhat, theo toi, ban chat dong tinh luyen ai khong phai do bam sinh, ma do moi truong song tac dong vao tam ly cua nguoi con trai, dan dan tro thanh hien tuong sinh ly. Moi nguoi chung ta hay kiem nghiem lai ban than minh tu luc nho cho den khi truong thanh, ban se thay moi nguoi dong tinh luyen ai deu co hoan canh song dac biet va khac thuong hon nhung nguoi khac. Da so, nhung dua tre nao song noi tam nhieu khi lon len kha nang tro thanh Gay se cao hon nhung dua tre huong ngoai. Song noi tam va bi uc che nhieu ve mat tinh cam va tinh than se khien cho dua tre ay tu giai phong minh trong tri tuong tuong nhieu hon la boc bach voi nguoi khac. Va su tuong tuong thi vo han, khi gap dieu kien thuc te thuan loi, thi dua tre ay se de buong tha minh theo "kich ban" da duoc tuong tuong truoc do. Nguoi Vietnam hay dat nang van de "Nam nu tho tho bat tuong than", va nguoi lon hay cam doan hoac de doa cac cau trai co ban gai qua som. Ban than cac cau con trai cung cam thay rang choi voi con gai phai de dat, coi chung lam bay con gai nguoi ta co thai, hoac neu khong thi cung bi cho la do "me gai", "de xom", vi the ngay cang nhieu nhung cau trai vi thanh nien cam thay choi voi con trai thoai mai hon, khong so "de lai hau qua nghiem trong". Dang tiec, day chinh la dieu kien de tinh duc dong gioi nay sinh. O tuoi day thi, chi can nhung dong tac dung cham nho hoac vai loi noi "bat binh thuong" cung tro thanh mot su kich thich manh me doi voi nguoi con trai. Va neu nhu cai dieu ay xay ra tu 1 nguoi nam khac, thi cau con trai nay se giu mai an tuong do khong the nao quen duoc. Cu the, tiep tuc giao du voi nhung con trai khac, lai thay them nhung dieu thu vi khac tu nhung nguoi dong gioi (same sex), va roi tro thanh Gay luc nao khong hay. Toi tu hoi, neu nhu 1 cau be chua biet gi ve chuyen tinh duc, khi 15-16 tuoi bong dung co co hoi quan he voi nhung nguoi phu nu (co the lon tuoi hon cau ta 1 chut), vay thi cau be ay sau nay co the tro thanh Gay duoc khong? Toi tu tra loi la KHONG. Boi vi, an tuong ban dau ve cam khoai tinh duc cua cau ta da gan chat vao hinh anh, mui vi va tieng noi cua mot nguoi khac phai, cau ta se kho co the chap nhan chuyen om ap mot nguoi dan ong cung nhu minh duoc.

Vay thi khong the do loi rang tai so phan, tai ban chat tu co bam sinh cua minh, de roi khuoc tu cuoc song cua 1 nguoi dan ong binh thuong. Chung ta sinh ra doi khong phai la Gay, nhung trong cuoc doi chung ta da co 1 nga re nao do da lam cho chung ta di chech huong, va chech huong qua xa den noi kho ma co the quay tro lai dung huong duoc. Nhung nhu vay khong co nghia la hoan toan khong the di dung huong nhu luc ban dau duoc. Duoc chu, nhung chung ta se phai tra 1 cai gia nao do, danh phai hy sinh 1 cai gi do ma chung ta khong muon roi xa chut nao: Do la su hap dan vo cung cua the gioi Gay. Khong phai cung can dam tu bo no de dang dau.

2.
Thu hai, nhieu nguoi chi hoang tuong minh la Gay, va cu om khu khu cai y tuong ay, roi di tim nguoi ung ho cai su hoang tuong ay. Sau do, tu gan len minh cai "mark" GAY va nhat quyet khong chiu giao tiep va quan he tinh cam voi phu nu. The la tu minh choi bo nhung co hoi de song binh thuong nhu bao nguoi dan ong khac. Va roi, cung nhu toi da trinh bay o dieu thu nhat, bat dau tu su hoang tuong, ban gap duoc nhung nguoi "hop y", su hoang tuong ay dan dan tro thanh su thuc. Tu do, tam ly ban bat dau thay doi, dan den sinh ly thay doi theo. Toi da tung chung kien su thay doi ay o nhieu nguoi ban cua minh, va tham chi o ngay ca toi nua. Khi khong co nguoi phu nu ben canh, ban tinh ga-lang, xoc vac, tinh than trach nhiem, tinh khi manh me, cho che va dum boc cho nguoi khac duong nhu khong con can dung den nua. Va cu the no dan dan bi bao mon di. Nguoc lai, 1 thu ban tinh khac lai bat dau xuat hien. Do la khi nguoi con trai nay tim den nguoi con trai khac, anh ta thuong thu dong (passive) hon trong cach cu xu, va muon nguoi con trai kia cung thuong men, chiu chuong, au yem, vuot ve minh. Roi nguoi con trai nay bat nay sinh ra mot so cam xuc khac ma thuong chi o phu nu moi lam dieu do voi dan ong: do la gian hon, dau kho, co don, khoc loc, van nai tinh yeu, ghen tuong... Chinh nhung cam xuc moi nay da tac dong vao tac phong va cach xu su cua nguoi con trai. Toi da nhin thay dieu nay o nhieu nguoi ban toi, va toi so rang chinh toi cung dang bi anh huong nhu the. Cung may, ben canh toi luon co 1 nguoi phu nu de giup toi giu minh luon "straight acting".

Vay thi khong the vi co 1 cong dong Gay duoc xa hoi chap nhan ma chung ta thoai mai lao sau vao do, de roi danh mat ban nga cua chinh minh, de roi quen mat minh la dan ong. Da la dan ong thi cung nhu cay tung cay bach, che cho va chan gio cho nhung day leo va nhung loai mem yeu khac, chu khong the mem yeu va dua vao cay khac.

3.
Thu ba, y nghia cuoc doi la su sinh ton bat diet. Hay nhin vao 1 canh rung xanh. Hang ngan nam truoc no da la canh rung, den bay gio canh rung ay van con ton tai. Vay thi nho dau ma canh rung ay ton tai hang ngan nam nhu vay? Do chinh la su noi tiep duy tri noi giong. Nhung cay co thu truoc khi chet di da kip gieo nhung mam xanh moi thay the. Nhung cay tre gia truoc khi nga do da kip cho ra nhung cay mang non thay the. Nhung qua trai chin truoc khi thoi rua da kip bo lai hat giong de moc len cay moi. Cu the, noi tiep ma sinh diet va ton tai. Quy luat tu nhien la the, den loai co cay vo tri giac cung con tuan theo. Cuoc song cua nhung nguoi Gay co y nghia gi khi khong lam duoc cai trong trach thieng lieng kia. Tu do, dam me, song het minh, thoa chi tang bong... the sau do la gi? Con lai gi?

Vay thi khong the noi rang vi muon song tu do theo y thich cua minh de ru bo trach nhiem duy tri noi giong (ma trach nhiem nay Thuong De da trao cho dan ong, chu khong phai dan ba).


Thua tat ca cac ban. Toi cung la Gay nhu cac ban thoi, cho nen toi khong co y dinh phe phan loi song Gay. Toi viet nhung dong chu nay hau mong tu nhac nho minh phai song dung dan va phai hieu duoc cai gi la quan trong nhat trong cuoc doi nay. Toi thay nhieu ban trai con rat tre, chua kip biet the nao la tinh yeu voi nguoi khac gioi, da voi quyet dinh lao vao cuoc choi voi Gay va ton vinh loi song Gay nhu mot mode thoi thuong. Neu qua that cac ban dung (correct), toi cung mong nhu the. Nhung duong nhu ai ai (Gay) roi cung phai tiep tuc di tim, cu luon mieng than van co don, va khong biet chang trai nao la that su mai mai la nguoi tinh cua minh. Het trang Web nay, den trang Web khac... Bao gio, bao gio se dung chan va tim thay duoc su em am trong tam hon day?

Doi voi toi, cuoc song Gay nhu 1 buoi tiec vui. Da la tiec tung thi luon luon hap dan, khong the khong den. Nhung tan buoi tiec roi phai co 1 mai am de tro ve. Vo con moi that su la mai am. Con Gay chi la quan tro, duoc phuc vu chu dao an can, nhung khong the o tro mai, va cung khong the so huu no duoc. Da den luc phai nghi den can nha cua minh thoi.

Than ai

Quan

P.S. Toi da tim duoc 1 nguoi ban nhu toi mong muon: Ngoai chuyen tam dau y hop ra, anh ta cung co ban gai va co suy nghi nghiem tuc ve chuyen lap gia dinh trong tuong lai.

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Replies:
Subject Author Date
Chao anh Quan (17 Jul 01)Noi LongSat, Sep 01 2001, 2:13:32
Tam su cung anh Quan (23 Jul 01)TuanMon, Sep 03 2001, 2:07:25
Thu gui Ban bien tap VNExpressQuanFri, Jun 01 2007, 14:55:28


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