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Date Posted: Friday, November 28, 02:45:17am
Author Host/IP: EATcf-678p205.ppp15.odn.ne.jp/126.96.36.199
Hanging with Miss World
Article By: Dan Nicholl
Thu, 27 Nov 2008 13:40
Decent day’s golf on a raw but enormously promising course, perfectly pleasant lunch in between, and after a gentle stream of welcome drinks, a quiet dinner with a rather nice band. That was it, I think; although I get the feeling I’m forgetting something. It’ll come to me in a moment, though, I’m sure. Ah yes, that’s it; I’d almost forgotten the 118 Miss World Finalists I spent the first three days of this week with…
Of 2008’s arduous challenges, this was undoubtedly the most taxing — traveling up to Legend, Peet Cilliers’s golf and safari resort in the Entabeni Reserve, and in between having a look at the course and the spectacular nineteenth hole (where Paul Snodgrass famously hit a drive into a rock, and straight back into his nether regions — possibly the funniest sight of 2008), hanging out with 118 of the most beautiful women on the planet. Sometimes you really wish you were working in an office in London.
Ostensibly the golf was the reason for going up — the chance to have an early crack at one of the planet’s more extraordinary courses. 18 designers have created a hole apiece, starting with Trevor Immelman, and ending with Retief Goosen’s sweeping par-five; in between, 16 of the world’s finest golfers have each added a particular touch to what, as far as I know, is the planet’s first composite course of big name players.
There’s a long way to go, as the course only opens officially in March next year, but it’s already shaping up to be something rather special, Sergio Garcia and Camilo Villegas’s par-fours in particular catching the eye. Contrary to rumour, Vijay Singh’s hole won’t be for men only; all 18 holes have a way to go, but Legend is going to be a hell of a golf course when it’s done.
And that’s a considered, focused, objective opinion that was in no way distracted by the Miss World contestants spending the day on the course with us. I can proudly lay claim to having given Miss Holland, Miss Martinique, Miss Mauritius, Miss Poland and Miss Japan their first golf lessons, and explained the intricacies of reading a putt to Miss Latvia, Miss Bulgaria, Miss Moldova and Miss Lithuania; you could tell they were all incredibly impressed at my ability to read the break…
They also steeled themselves and kept rigid smiles in place every time Kurt Darren broke into song on the course — Kurt and his brother Darren (Darren Darren, from the proud tradition of M-Net’s Scott Scot) were taking on myself and Darren Scott, and the Afrikaans crooner kept singing at Miss World finalists whenever they popped up on a particular hole. Miss Bulgaria did think he was wonderful, mind; Sofia FM might just become Eastern Europe’s spiritual home of the treffer.
As devices to make a new course look extremely good go, littering the 18 holes with beauty queens is no bad option; granted, rounding up 118 Miss World finalists does require a little logistical planning, but it’s well worth the effort. Next time you’re hollotining the course, say. Miss World finalists also look reasonable round a campfire, learning to make potjies and to gum boot dance (for what it’s worth, Miss Sweden doesn’t do bugs, Miss USA is gorgeous but can’t dance, and Miss Trinidad and Tobago’s cleavage is probably visible from the International Space Station); and they look quite magnificent in cocktail finery at black tie dinners.
The gala dinner to wrap up the trip to Legend afforded conversation with Miss England, who’s worked at a golf club for the last five years (South African courses need to work on their employment requirements), Miss Belgium, who lived in the DRC for two years (so now you know), and the current Miss World, who’s from China and is four inches taller than me. And our own Miss South Africa, Tansey Coetzee, who’s gorgeous, full of life, and most importantly of all, determined to play more golf once she’s wrapped up her year-long reign.
Ideally, she’ll win Miss World in a fortnight; there is stiff competition though, which leads to my conundrum. I have an engagement party scheduled for next week, but have only managed to narrow the options to Miss Belgium, Miss Norway, Miss Venezuela, Miss Spain and Miss Trinidad and Tobago (she plays the violin quite beautifully). With Miss Zimbabwe (in trouble for sub-letting her hotel room to 14 of her countrymen) and Miss Brazil (almost eaten by a lion on safari; I pulled her away just in time, but it was a close shave) also outside contenders, I’m awash with indecision — but then that, I suppose, comes with the territory when you’re forced to spend three days playing golf and hanging out with 118 of the most beautiful women on earth.
# Contact Dan at firstname.lastname@example.org
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