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Date Posted: 23:05:07 12/16/02 Mon
Author: W2
Subject: Bowl Games

I'm feeling in the holiday spirit today. That is the spirit that is all things football, and for whatever reason there isn't enough of it to go around. This is why I have decided to attempt the beginning of a new Rhittaker tradition. Bowl games. Yes, there are already playoffs, and there is the Rhittaker Bowl (which will remain the greatest of the great), but we should do as college football should as well and have bowl games for those who don't make the playoffs. (yes, I'm aware there are no playoffs in college ball, but there should be, and the teams that aren't in them should get to play bowl games, which is exactly the point.) With league approval, I submit the following system:

1. There will be as many bowl games as required for the number of teams available; in this instance four games. If there are an odd number of teams, the team who goes to the playoffs does not get to play again. (Sorry killa you'd be out this year if we had 11 teams)

2. Unlike the BCS, we will have no Notre Dame factor, no Florida State (we suck, but we won our conference!) rule, and no points are awarded for tradition in any way. (convenient for me since I'm a rookie, huh Squeech?) The divisions will not be taken into account, only total number of rhits, followed by Win-Loss, total points, then head to head to determine who plays whom. 3 will play 4 5 vs 6, 7 vs 8 and 9 vs 10.

3. We're playing for Pride boys. Sorry, there's no cash available from the Rhittaker supply, but there is no penalty if you choose to apply the cash yourself.

All that said, here are the proposed matchups with bowl games and locations:

BelvisNoland.com Bowl

Location: Sacramento, CA (Hey, where would you rather be next weekend?)

Flaming White Rabbits (41, 10-5)
vs
Four Baggers (38, 9-5)

To the victor goes the spoils. You get to shake Belvis Noland's hand (or paw as it may be).

Despair.com Bowl for the benefit of the Mediocre College Students

Location: That field below the Leaning tower of Pisa, Italy

Great White LB's (38, 8-6)
vs.
Squirming Coil (34, 6-8)


Winning team may take joy in knowing that although it is still in the middle of the pack, at least it is slightly above average. You know, kind of like getting a 79.5% and getting a B in a class...just good enough to be slightly better than average.

Poulan Weedeater Classic (This Bowl MUST be brought back)

Location: Warsaw, Poland (hey everyone thought it was the Poland Weedeater bowl anyway, let's just move it there.

Swelled Up D!*K (28, 6-8)
vs
Easily Confused (21, 4-10)

I'd say the winner gets a weedeater, but that would cost money. Maybe he could just eat some weed...er um..or something like that.

Saniflush Urinal Bowl brought to you by Prit.com - Yes you've guessed it. The bowl that everyone has wanted to exist for years has finally come to be. We will pit the two worst teams in the league in a battle to determine who doesn't suck the most. This KU vs Louisiana-Monroe wanna be matchup will be run on ESPN Classic for years to come, or at least remembered until next Tuesday.

Location: Flush, KS (Could there be a more appropriate place? And yes, it does actually exist.)


I Always Knew You Were Uncircumcised (16, 3-11)(gets the nod as favorite by a mere 18 point˙

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