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Date Posted: 19:31:24 12/01/10 Wed
Author: Brittany
Subject: Identity
In reply to: stewart 's message, "ignorance" on 15:29:28 12/01/10 Wed

A lot of this sounds so much like me that I had to respond. As a disclaimer since I have a fear of my words being read differently than I intended, this is only my story, just as it is written with nothing between the lines.

I was born in America and have lived my whole life here in America, although I have traveled elsewhere and have many influences from other places (more on that later). When I was in school, my mind was blank as was pretty much everyone else's, and the teachers were able to put anything in there and we would believe it. Of course, there was some influence from home that stopped the teachers from completely shaping my mind, but otherwise I would say I was brainwashed. That sounds harsh, I know, but what does a child know? Every child is brainwashed, really. Part of that brainwashing included a fierce patriotism for our country. We were free (although from what or for what?), gosh darn it! We were the best country in the world! One memory that sticks out in my mind is when I was perhaps 11 or 12 when I watched the fireworks with my cousins at the Forth of July. In the midst of jumping up and down and cheering, I turned to my cousin and exclaimed, "Aren't you so proud to be an American?!" That was the depth of my feelings of my country: fireworks and excitement.

I grew older and I thankfully began to think of things more. I didn't think of just an event in history, but also the impact. I also felt the impact too, or rather used both sides of my brain instead of just the literal, unfeeling one. Suddenly all these things that had once been just words in a book became real things that affected real people. Worst of all, there were some really bad things that had been done by this country.

There are many ways a person can react to this. I'm not sure exactly what it was that made me react the way I did, but I think it was a mixture of things. I had just moved from the South to Minnesota, and it was not a very good move at all. Southern hospitality to Minnesota cold. I know there are some very nice Minnesotans, but I felt bombarded by the unkind and rude bad ones. I quickly began to resent the state and the people. Then I am pretty opinionated, so this gave me a chance to take a stand. Plus, I liked being different. So how did I react? I began to hate America. I took cheap shots where I could and never missed an opportunity to point out its failures. I ignored the good because of course the bad outweighed all of that. I kept finding new things to hate and new ways to do it. Yes, "hate" is a strong word, but I did hate.

Then, something happened that changed my feelings and how I looked at things. 9/11. As horrible as that day was and what happened, there was some good that came out of it for me. There was a new realization and way of looking at things that I'm not sure would have come about otherwise. With my way of thinking right before 9/11, one would think that my reaction would have been one of delight when I heard the news. Instead, it was horror. By the end of the day it was, "This is my country and my people and how dare anyone try and hurt them!"

There are three ways to look at our country and its history. The first way, which was my first way, is to ignore all the bad things. The second way, which was my second way as well, is to exploit the bad things and use it for fodder for our own grievances, whatever they may be. It is impossible to move on this way. The final way, which is where I am at now, is to acknowledge the bad things, learn from them, but to forgive. It is very similar to loving a person. Blind love isn't really loving a person, and exploiting another's faults isn't even trying to love another person. However, loving someone while knowing and forgiving their faults is really loving. I have done a lot of bad in my life, and I would hate to be judged as I judged our country during the middle period. One strike and you're out? Three? A hundred? The thing is no country is perfect and has a perfect record. Even the Native Americans who were here before Europeans started to come didn't have a perfect record.

My point is that I love my country, as I love people, as full of blemishes as it may be. I love the Constitution and the rights I have that I might not have elsewhere. If I was in another country, I might not be able to write this! We have a shared culture, history, and values. They may differ and again, they may not be perfect, but it binds us together. And for all the bad, there is a whole lot more good! Like I said before, there is no way to grow just sticking to the past and the bad things that have happened. We need to acknowledge them, learn from them, and move on. I'm not saying it is always easy, and I hope I don't sound overly simplistic. It is worth it, though, because forgiveness lightens the spirit. I can also tell you that my spirit feels a whole lot healthier in this "third" stage!



Now for the second part I mentioned earlier. I never quite fit into the American culture. I thought for a while it was because of my mom growing up in Africa and that having an influence on me. Not every kid growing up in America speaks Hausa or is carried around on her mother's back in a cloth! I was too little to remember the latter part, but you get the picture. My grandma is Mennonite Canadian and my mom went to a British boarding school, so some of my words weren't spelled quite correctly and my 7's and z's didn't look the same as everyone else's. Then our family began to move around and I lost a "home". I am originally from Chicago, but after a few months living in Arkansas and then visiting, I felt like a stranger! If "home" wasn't home, where was I from? Then I learned more of my family history (other than Africa), and that began to affect me as well. There is a connection to royalty that definitely affects my views on that subject and the way things "ought" to be (as well as some strange phobias). Then of course is my life history and things that have been thrown at me that affect who I "am". So when people ask me where I'm from, I have a difficult time answering. I don't fit into a category. The easy answer is "Minnesota" since that is where I live now. A more complex answer is "I was born in Chicago, my heart is in the South, and my body is in Minnesota." My favorite that I think says it all, although it is perhaps too abstract to use very much is, "I'm from everywhere and nowhere."

That's just me and the way I see things.

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[> -- We3Kings (), 08:09:32 12/02/10 Thu

Last edited by author: Wed December 08, 2010 13:07:15   Edited 3 times.

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[> [> Sins of a Nation -- Debbie S., 19:36:03 12/02/10 Thu

As for Thanksgiving, I view it simply as a special day set aside to give thanks to God for all the blessings he has given me, my family, my State and Nation. A day to recognize that all I have is because of Him and to humble myself in submission and thanks.

On Oct. 3, 1863, during the Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln declared the first official day of Thanksgiving with the following words being taken from his proclamation:

"No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy.

It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and voice by the whole American people. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and Union."

Lincoln and others felt that the Civil War was penitence for our nation's injustices. If, so, it was definitely a most horrible punishment inflicted upon a nation. America has formally and publicly apologized to the African Americans and Native Americans for the atrocities of the past. African Americans and Native Americans are still given entitlements to this day because of our nation's feeling of guilt. My cousins are the direct descendants of Geronimo. If they choose, they can go to college free, while I, being Anglo American, had to work three jobs to put myself through college.

One does ask when will this debt finally be paid, our nation's sins finally forgiven?

There is no nation without some dark episodes in their history. But, despite all our many faults, I guess I am ignorant and naive in believing, that ours is still one of the greatest social structures ever devised by humankind. Will The Great Experiment stumble and fall or succeed? I choose to believe that, as Stewart seems to as well, then final answer is in the hearts and hands of the people.

Debbie S.


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