Re: How to not get worn out as a parent? -- Dyslexia Advice Line and Discussion Forum

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Subject: Re: How to not get worn out as a parent?

Author:
yveaux

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Date Posted: 00:14:24 11/10/10 Wed
In reply to: Gretchen S 's message, "How to not get worn out as a parent?" on 19:43:09 05/08/10 Sat

Hello,

I have two sons, one is Dyslexic and the other is Gifted and Talented. Both on opposite spectrums. My Dyslexic son is 8 and in the 3rd grade and the other is 7 and is in the 1st grade and 'wants' to do 3rd grade homework. I find it hard to balance the two at times, however, I only spend .5 hour a day to .45 hours a day with each. I alter them as well so that I don't get overwhelmed. The 1st grader does not need as much help with his homework, but he wants it. My 8 year old with dyslexia takes a lot of time to do his homework and many times the way I am helping him is not the way his school is teaching him. I can only help him how I learned. We work together to find ways that he understands. He is just reaching a maturity level where if I explain something to him, he tells me he does not understand. If I can't help him we move forward. His progress is very slow, but he is making tiny steps of improvement. He is at a 1st grade reading level in 3rd grade and he wants to be at his grade level. We set personal goals for him and he sets them for himself and we work little by little at them. I found some books that have key words in colored letters which helped him with reading. We also make up songs for things that are extremely hard to remember. He remembers simple songs. We had to make up a song to spell the work "THE" it took him a whole year. It also took him up until the third grade to put his shoes on the right feet. But with positive reinforcement, he is doing really well. If he messess up - he says "I made a mistake". We reinforce with "that is okay". Since a child can only absorb so much - don't push them and maybe set a 'realistic' goal for yourself and for them before you begin homework - set a realistic time-frame as well. When my Dyslexic son has had enough of either reading or math for the day - we send a note back to his teacher letting her know what he was able to accomplish and what we are working on at home. We have to keep in constant contact with his primary teacher and have monthly contact with his special ed teachers. It is not easy to balance time with the kids, but if you don't find a way to parse out your time, you will end up not being able to help them. Like my child, eventually your child may need other outside intervention and tutoring help. I am learning as much as I can so that I can leverage all options and constantly educating myself on the small things I can do to help him. Besides academics we are fostering his other interests such as swimming, karate and music. Just a year ago he was saying he wanted to kill himself and he was "stupid". We now focus a lot of our attention on building his confidence and helping him to understand how he is different and what his strengths are compared to others. We also don't allow the 'stupid' word to be said in our house. Each child owes us $1 if we hear them saying it. So, don't think that you have to do everything - your child will make it - little steps at a time. I also work full-time, I am going to school part-time and I pretty much do everything in the household. But I only do what I can do and sometimes the dishes and laundry don't get put away. But I tell myself that is okay.

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: How to not get worn out as a parent?	Mommy-Lin	11:36:55 11/10/10 Wed