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Date Posted: 22:48:27 01/07/02 Mon
Author: Sandy
Author Host/IP: 216.104.140.59
Subject: Re: Somebody Just Shoot Me
In reply to: Bill 's message, "Somebody Just Shoot Me" on 18:36:29 01/07/02 Mon

Sent you an email. Sorry you are having such a rough time. Your choice of careers is not the best for someone dealing with depression. Dealing with the public is hard on most people but with the depression, it has to be hell. I hope you can find a way to get into something where you don't have the phones ringing and people wanting something every second.

As for being single, I really think you've been wise in holding off on getting married and having kids, considering the depression. While marriage and children do add a lot to your life, they also bring a lot more responsibility and sometimes that causes stress as well. Not that I would give Scott or Matt up for anything...because I love them to death. But some people think that getting married and having someone there will solve all their problems. It doesn't. And with kids, you have a lot of good times but every time they go through something..you go through it too. You worry about them. They go through spells of being the sweetest things in the world, but then they go through their times when you could absolutely strangle them. I guess all parents feel that way. They say the teen years are the worst. Well Matt is 5 months from being 14..and I have to say that it hasn't been that bad yet, but I can see changes as he starts to try to be more independant and find himself. A therapist told me once that she and her youngest son used to be extremely close and then when he was about 14 he started to pull away from her...nothing she did was right in his eyes, he didn't act like he cared if she was around or not. She said it really hurt her a lot but she knew that it was his age and that they have to start to pull away and be more independant or else you'd end up with a "moma's boy" and that's not good. Her son is now in his 20s and she says they are close again but there were a few years that it was hard. I guess my point is that with children you have things that you have to go through that aren't always pleasant either. I know it will be hard when Matt does start pulling away and I see signs of that starting already, but I want him to be an independant adult so I'll get through it.

I do hope that you find something you really like and can excel at and get on your feet financially, but more importantly I hope you can get the help you need to get the depression under control. If you can feel better, it will much easier for other things to fall into place.

You need to go to mental health or somewhere where you can pay on an income based scale and I wouldn't worry about what the doctors you work with think. They'd have to find another reason to "oust" you because I'm pretty sure that you can't be fired for depression unless you are missing all kinds of work or something like that. Check on it anyway. Also doctors are not supposed to make your files public anyway, are they?

I'm off to get some rest. Long day tomorrow, working with my boss and I feel like crap. Still have the sore throat, but the fever has been replaced by a runny nose. Eyes still burning.

During our quick run up to NC to get the stuff out of the warehouse, I was kissing all over my little nieces face. I didn't think I was sick but I was. I hope I didn't give her anything. "Little Miss Nosey" kept trying to stick her fingers in my mouth. Lately she has a thing about wanting to get people's teeth :) I had a hard time keeping her fingers out of there.

Well...gotta run.

Love,
Sandy

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