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Date Posted: 08:28:05 10/12/01 Fri
Author: Dave
Author Host/IP: 208.154.218.218
Subject: Hate

Hi All ,
I don't like starting the day off on a negative note . But I'm really having a lot of trouble trying to rid myself of the hate I have towards my wife . I've been finding out more and more about this beast since our seperation . I as you all know wasn't the perfect husband . But it's hard to show love towards a person who regards you with no respect or compassion . This was my life with her for at least the past 5 or more years . She blamed me for being the person that I didn't even know or understand after the war . I just recently found out that the last time we tried to reunite ( after she found out I did have cancer ), that she herself was seeing someone , and ask me back because she was so sure that the cancer would take my life , and she was only concerned about my life insurance and the monthly payments she would get from the Veteran's Administration . Prostrate cancer is one of the things recognized by the V.A. under the " Agent Orange Exposure " from Vietnam . I've done some cold things to some people because of this screwed up mind of mine .But I could never ever do to someone what she thought see was going to do to me . Is it just me , or is that not one of the sickest things you've ever heard of . My daughter no longer has any association with her , and my son can no longer even stand to hear the sound of her voice . Earlier on , I tried to explain to them about their mother . But she really worked their minds , and had them convinced that I was the sole problem of our marriage . They now know better . Not looking or asking for sympathy . I just had to get this off of my chest . I'm really not a bad guy , just been so confused for so many years . Thanks for listening . ...Love Ya , Dave

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