| Subject: Our Friend |
Author:
Astron
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Date Posted: Sat, Nov 01 2003, 03:43pm
In reply to:
Syn
's message, " *lights a candle in Memory of Lockie* 1st Nov 2002" on Thu, Oct 30 2003, 10:53pm
I'm told I am quite an articulate person and though it's one thing to say words can not express our feelings adequatly, right now I'm certain there is not a langauge in which human vocal cords could convey the wailing in our hearts that speaks of our feelings when we think of our friend Lockie. Whenever I think of our friend I feel the tears welling in my eyes. Wether or not I let them come I sigh and submit to lethargy. Is sleep the only escape from the pain? I speak to the many others who's lives his touched an I feel the love for the person, I share the loss, I share this pain. I look around in awe. Is there no person who met him who did not like him? Is there no person who knew this amazing man that he did not touch the hearts of and forever earn th title friend... Nay... Family. I speak with the masses who will never be the same without him and I cannot believe there was one. When Lockie passedfrom this world not only did the online community lose an amazing roleplayer, when Matt died the Earth lost an amazing person, and even in his passing the strength of his character lives on. I feel these emotions and I become angry. All this for man whos hand I never shook? I did not need to, this was an amazing man and with out ever seeing his face he reached me. Without hearing his vooice he bacame my friend, a very loved friend, and now his gone? How could this happen! I fume! I cry... Then I sleep. I sleep and I dream... and when I dream sometimes I see him, I forget the pain. In my dreams still I can see my friend and smile. Then I wake up and I remember... and then I relise although his body may no longer function that his sole lives on and as he touched our lives with his, he touches them still even behond death. Though we feel that we have lost one we love to us he is never lost. Always his sole thrives in our hearts and is seen in our minds. Now as he watches over us all, everyone of us he touched, he must smile and as happy as he was in this life he must surely be in the next.
When I say the name Theros many UO players will remember a different thing, some remember an arrogant antagonist, others remember a hot headed leader, I like few other remember a friend, a friend who I know in real life. His name is Jeff. Shortly before Matt passed away I had the displeasure of having to act as a mediator between my two friends as thy argued about histories and loyalties and rights, Lockie stuck to his principles, Theros held to his emotions. In the end they decided not to speak to each other personaly, and I at this point was stuck running back and forth between the two. When I spoke to Matt at this point I reminded him of the hard time our old friend as having and of his nature to explode like this without thinking and tried to assure him it was not a personal vendetta. I did not need to. Matt told me he was not angry at Jeff. I guess like the rest of us he cam to expect the occasional outbusrt like this from him or perhaps there was no room for anger in a man who had shared so much friendship. Either way he further told me to apollogise for him for his side in the arguement. Although sill it was Jeffs place to like wise appoligise he accepted the appoligy and these were the terms they parted on when Matt left this world. I cried and I grieved and when I saw Jeff I passed on the news. It hit him like a punch in the face. He cried. The tyrant was brought to tears. Such was the strength Matts eart that even those with which he fought could not bear his loss.
I also mention Theros because it was through him I met Lockie. When I first started playing UO guess who Theros assigned to train me in all the basics of melee combat. These were early time for us both, I remember on this day Lockie asking how much more healing and anatomy he would need to be able to cure poison. Funny who thing turn out befoe long like the scholar my character portraid of me soon it was I who had all the answers to Lockies questions and as he taught me I taught him. For a long time our guild grew and together we played UO and got to know each toher better and even this early (Although we'd both progressed a bit by this point) when ever I died the first name I'd look for on my ICQ list was Lockie to request a res and often I would return the favor the same way. Today I have to laugh, in these days I remember a time when I asked Lockie to come to Fel to res me, to which he replied "Oh no not fel. That place is scary." of course I laugh because we all know now how much Lockie loved the thrill of venturing into fel shortly there after and onwards, it was 3 months later he was marking all the netrances to the fel dungeons for me! I recall the time I held a writing competition and everyon said oh thats a great idea! Of course the only person who actualy bothered to submit an entry to me was Lockie (Syn beat me around the head with reminders to get this book to you to put in his memorial). So I pritty much had no choice but to declar Lockie the best writter on Oceania (Well the book did kick butt, "especialy" that of the competitions). Eventualy IMK (our guild) crumbled and it members joined DoD were Lockie forevermore remained. I left DoD to follow my leader Theros but I will never forget the friendship I found there (Even back in the early days of IMK) and I will never forget were my closest friend resided. Though at this point we were going our seperate ways our friendship never weakend, we still ressed each other freakently and hunted together and constantly did each other favors in providing equiptment, financial loans, and random free services. He got his leather dye tub 4 months before me the scoudral so every other week I was over there having him dye things for me as one example. I would be hard pressed to find somone in the relm today I could rely on as much as I could Lockie.
Even outside of UO he was the best online friend I've ever had, we could spend hours in ICQ talking about bugger all, and I mean that lituraly we would talk about bugger all. In many places in my ICQ hisory I could pull out conversations that looked like this:
Astrobia: *Jump out of the trees and randomly flings rocks at you*
Lockie: Lol. Your bored arn't you?
Astrobia: CHEESE!
Lockie: MOZARELLA!
Astrobia: BLUE VEIGN!
Lockie: CHEDAR!
Astrobia: GREEN!
Lockie: PARMISAN!
Astrobia: Damnit! Uhhh... WHEELBARROW!
Lockie: Lol! LAWNMOWER!
and so forth...
Astrobia: *Pulls out an AK47*
Lockie: HA! I don't think so we get issued kevlar.
Astrobia: Then meet Mr Bazzoka!
Lockie: *Climbs into his bomb shelter*
Astrobia: Meh. Will your bomb shelter protect you from my nuke?
Lockie: No not a nuke! *Takes off in his spaceship!*
Astrobia: Damnit his getting away again!
and such was the randomness of our online antics. He was just so much fun. I must wonder how often other people in the household would wander past the computer just to see an random ICQ remark pop up such as "A CURTAIN!" and wondered what the hell I was on about. He was without a doubt the best friend I've ver had online and one of the best friends I've ever had in any other case.
For about 4 years no I have been drafting up and writting the storyline for an online comic I plan to air next year. No one contributed more directly or indirectly to the early development of that project then Lockie did. The comic is based on all the experiences my characters have had in there Role Play histories online and off. In both cases Matt assisted me with it development and helped with design of both his characters and his views on our histories of the relms. One of the last things we discussed was the physical appearances of his character "Lockie" and "Darrien" for the comic. I did up a quick protrait of Lockie for him to approve and sent it to him for him to approve and he responded that he loved it. I then started thinking abouth the designs for Darrien. How much I wish he got the oppertunity to see and aprove them. They were never finished. Before I finished them I got that message that change all of us forever when we read that Lockie had been taken from us in motor vehicle accident. I could not put pencil to paper do draw the design without having my vision blurred by the tears that filled my eyes. Even now I don't know if I can include him in my comic. I would love to as a final tribute to our friendship together and I don't feel I can run the story without including him but everytime I think about doing so I don't know where to find the strength to do so. The thought of writting without his confirmation, the memory everytime I write or draw a page that includes him. The pain when the comic reaches the point that Lockie left the relm... A pain we all share. A pain we will always hang onto. A pain we will never forget.
I write this and as I do so I consider it has been a whole year today since we last spoke, see you all next week was the last message I got from him. As I sit here trying to hold back the tears I consider, we may not see you next week Matt, but we all wait for the day when we see you again, next time.
We all still love you Matt. We all still remember and not a one of us will ever forget. Fare thee well Sir Lockie. Travel safely in the next relm. See you when we get there.
Forever your friend - Astron
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