Joke pack -- The Mad Wee Wee

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Date Posted: 06:15:15 09/10/01 Mon
Author: Jade
Subject: Joke pack

A veterinarian had had a really rough day at his office. When he finally got home from tending to all the sick animals, his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed.
At about 1:00 in the morning, the phone rang. "Is this the vet?" asked an elderly lady's voice.
"Yes, it is", replied the vet, out of breath.
"Is this an emergency?"
"Well, sort of", said the elderly lady, "there's cats on the roof outside making a terrible noise mating and I can't get to sleep. What can I do about it?"
There was a sharp intake of breath from the vet, who then patiently replied, "Open the window and yell that they are wanted on the phone."
"Really?" said the elderly lady, "Will that will that stop them?"
"Should do," said the vet, "IT JUST STOPPED ME!"

* * *

A minister was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners who he knew as being an unkempt housekeeper. When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life.
"Were these dishes ever washed?" he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime.
She replied, "They're as clean as soap and water could get them."
He felt a bit apprehensive, but blessed the food anyway and started eating. It was really delicious and he said so, despite the dirty dishes.
When dinner was over, the hostess took the dishes outside and yelled, "Here Soap! Here Water!

* * *

A doctor was walking down the hospital corridor and stopped to speak to the head nurse.

"Oh, doctor," she said, "you've got your thermometer stuck behind your ear."

"Shit!" cried the doctor. "Some asshole has my pen!"

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