| Subject: Comments |
Author:
Dana
| [ Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
Date Posted: 13:00:07 08/28/02 Wed
In reply to:
shrift
's message, "Inevitable (r)" on 13:09:27 08/14/02 Wed
The enervating stupor brought on by an over consumption
It's the old "one word/two word/hyphen" question again. I'd maybe go with hyphenating?
All his energy was currently being funneled into trying not to think.
Hee. He's thinking about not thinking.
Subtlety, thy name was not Clark Kent. However, Clark dressed all in tight black held something of a lasting appeal.
It's really more "the thought of Clark", isn't it? Since Lex has, unfortunately, never seen it.
Like the terror of knowing he was going to hit the tall boy on the bridge all those months ago, only worse, because now he knew the tall boy's name, birth date, shoe size, how he took his coffee, and how he always borrowed his father's aftershave when he planned to see Lana.
Nice.
"Just peachy, Clark," Lex said, and immediately regretted his tone.
What is his tone? Light-hearted? Snippy? Flat? There aren't too many options, given what he's saying, but there are enough to make it confusing.
But when Lex took Smallville into account, he thought he might need to qualify that statement with a 'never' and perhaps even an, 'over my cold, dead body.'
I don't think you need the comma after "an".
Clark's hand closed around Lex's forearm and stopped him from taking another sip of scotch. Not that Lex needed it, but alcohol served as a welcome distraction from Clark's youthful intensity.
Such a pretty boy, all big eyes, sharp cheekbones, and lips that were just as illegal as the rest of his body parts.
"Don't say that," Clark said.
Lex looked at Clark's hand, then tilted his head back meet Clark's serious eyes. "Why not? It's only the truth." Lex smirked and cocked his head, suddenly eager to shift Clark's attention elsewhere. He plucked up his glass with his free hand and swallowed more Lagavulin.
When did the glass get put down?
"Push me away," Clark said. "Getting me mad."
"Get me mad"?
"It was just another of my father's object lessons, Clark," Lex said finally. "I'll get over it."
"You shouldn't have to," Clark objected.
Reads kind of funny to have Clark "objecting" after the phrase "object lessons."
Clark's breath was hot and moist in Lex's ear, and he thought he was imagining the soft feel of Clark's nose and lips slowly dragging down his jaw. But Clark's hands were moving, too, wrapping around the nape of his neck.
Oh, my.
Lex's brain ran through a startled gamut of possible responses. 'Are meteor rocks green?' 'Is my scalp unusually smooth?' 'Does the Pope disapprove of cock rings?'
I find the flippancy at this point a little startling. Maybe we need a reminder of how drunk he is.
Barely the beginning, and already Lex prepared to mourn the end. He regretted the fact that he'd never quite learned how to live completely in the moment.
Lovely.
Take everything, Lex thought. Help yourself. I don't want to stop you.
Oh, yeah. Yum.
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
] |
|
Feedback: 