Author:
jean
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Date Posted: 22:28:41 07/03/02 Wed
She'd built Mr. Jones up in her mind, pinning three years' worth of hopes on him, and now he's turned out to be nothing more than a paper doll with Mick Schtoppel folded over him like a cheap suit.
Still kicking major ass here, Dana...
He stands and gropes his way to the back of the limo, so it'll be there if he needs something to lean or collapse against.
I had to read this a couple times to figure out the he wanted to be by the limo in case he needed to lean on the limo. Might be because I'm tired.
"...that there’s no fall out."
I honestly don't know: is that 'fallout' or 'fall out'?
"Uh, thank you?"
Haaa ha hahah!
Mr. Jones smiles, and for a moment, the tilt to his mouth reminds him of Nikita. "Why, Martin. Just be yourself."
And Dana pops this suckah right out of the park! Excellent, excellent!
The theater leaks, and the is only slightly better than nothing, but it's still a job.
...the pay..??
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Excellent. And did I mention it kicked ass? I particularily liked Martin's love affair with Mick.
As for what Delle said about tenses...they changed? (blink) I'm not much of a beta! lol The only thing distracting about the tenses is when we see Martin as a fledgling actor: that is the past. I see where we revisit it, in the very end; perhaps it confused delle? (Milan vs. Cardiff) Took me a bit to realize that, too. Conceptually, a very elegant ending...just that tense thing might get in the way.
Now I feel bad that I haven't finished my 'zine story....
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