Comments -- Data Retrieval and Verification

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Subject: Comments

Author:
Athena

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Date Posted: 21:28:05 07/05/02 Fri
In reply to: Nestra 's message, "Identity Crisi (Part 4 / End)" on 07:38:24 07/03/02 Wed

Uh. Two things.

First off, I have seen 5th season all of ONCE... (except 502 and 507).. So my confusion may stem from that.

*BUT* outside the limo... in the confession scene.. when did Martin/Mick end up on the ground. You say she kicks him, then he's grasping gravel... I missed something. Could just be me.

And, although I understand that at the end you're referring to his past... him wanting to be an actor, and it being his first job. It REALLY does seem out of place. It took me a minute to realise what it referred to, and I'm PRETTY SURE that most of the storyboard population will think that Mick has been released.. and Othello is his "first job" when he becomes Martin again.....

Maybe its me?

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Replies:

[> [> [> Subject: No, it definitely seems like it's a problem. So suggestions on how I fix it? Would it help if I put a date stamp on top of the flashbacks? Or is there any other way?
Author: Nestra [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 08:29:20 07/06/02 Sat [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> Subject: You know, I chuckled at the 'datestamp' idea (I was thinking of a punchclock from the dungons of retail, years ago), but it's a valid device. A simple year, or month/year in italics, only for the flashbacks. Try it, and see how it looks. That's the real test.
Author: jean [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 15:14:59 07/06/02 Sat [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: I'm kinda sulky about that idea, though. What about rephrasing the first sentence, so it starts with something like "At the age of nineteen...". Or something like that. I'll play around and see what I can come up with.
Author: Nestra [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 19:39:58 07/06/02 Sat [ Post a Reply to This Message ]