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Date Posted: 06:40:33 01/21/05 Fri
Author: aljo
Subject: Jokes like this?
In reply to: Kaan 's message, "Yahooooooooooooooooo" on 18:49:30 01/13/05 Thu

Four guys were sitting in a bar drinking and one says, "Do you guys ever wonder what the very fastest thing ever is?"
Another guy says, "Whaddaya mean, fastest thing?"
So the guy says, "Well... I think thinkin' is the fastest thing... you put your finger in a flame and it takes no time at all before your brain is telling your body to take it out and yell 'ouch!' So I think it's thinkin'."
So the second guy says, "I think blinkin' is the fastest thing... you blink your eyes and you don't even know you've done it... your eyes close, but it's so fast that when you open them again, nothing has changed at all, so I think it's blinkin'."
The third guy chimes in and says, "I think it's light... you flip the lightswitch and immediately the light is on; flick it again and immediately the light is off... I think the fastest thing is light."
The fourth guy then says, "I think the fastest thing is the Mexican diarrhea."
The others all look at him as though he's crazy and say, "WHAT?!?"
He says, "Now hear me out... last night I went down to Mexico and I went into a saloon and drank a few beers... then on my way home, I stopped at a little cantina and had a bowl of the most delicious Mexican chili... then when I got home and got in bed, I felt my belly begin to rumble... and then... before I could think, blink, or turn on the light, the whole bed was full of diarrhea!"

or this??

A redneck woman and a debutante were both in the same grocery store.
The redneck woman was picking through the potatoes when she picked out two and began feeling them, tossing them in the air, squeezing them... just manhandling the two potatoes.
The debutante watches her for a bit and then walks over and says, "Excuse me, ma'am, I just can't help asking what on earth you are doing with those potatoes."
The redneck woman answers, "Well, I found these potatoes here in the pile and they remind me exactly of my husband's testicles."
The debutante gasps and says, "They're THAT big??"
And the redneck woman replies, "No.... that DIRTY."

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[> [> and one more thing... -- aljo, 07:06:54 01/21/05 Fri [1]

You know how we periodically see those recycled stories about the dumbest criminals?
In today's newpaper (the local rag where I live) there is a story about a fellow who just may fit into that category...
A fellow went into a store with some buddies and hung around in the coat section. Eventually, he put on a Columbia jacket and left his own jacket on the floor, and he left the store...
so far, so good, right?
Well... the clerks reviewed the surveillance tape and saw the guy leaving the store wearing the jacket, so turned the tape over to the police. One of the officers recognized the guy on the tape, and then, when checking out the old coat the guy left on the floor, found his picture ID in the pocket... DUH!!
So with his identity pretty much known with some solid evidence, the police discover that the guy is scheduled for a court appearance on unrelated charges, so they go to meet him at the courthouse, and there he is with a female friend who is wearing the jacket.

I think that's hilarious! I'm still laughing about it.


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