| Subject: Being sick makes me feel empty... |
Author:
Renee
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Date Posted: 09:41:18 03/14/02 Thu
In reply to:
Samantha
's message, "This is probably important..." on 15:51:41 03/13/02 Wed
I'm not upset that you're quitting. I don't care. Maybe I really do, but it's your decision and you can do what you want to. I'm not saying that I won't miss having you here, or that you won't be missed by others. JBTH was a strong game, but it's dying. A lot of things are right now, and I don't blame you for having reasons, no matter what they are, for quitting.
I am an undeniable teacher's pet in language arts. My teachers say I have the ideas and skills to be in college writing courses. Then my classmates ask me why I write, like I'm not normal. I just tell them it's fun.
I'm a liar too. Of course writing is fun, most of the time. But I write to back off. I am not my mother's favorite person. I spend the majority of my time sitting in a boiling room and typing on a dead keyboard, mostly because the two of us fight if I do anything else. My keyboard folds. I get lonely late at night. The keys don't klack.
I'm under the impression now that if anyone is truly in love with anyone they won't love back. Me and a friend had a little 'fling' a year or so ago. I think we were just playing around, but it felt right. That friend can't bother to be around me for more than fifteen minutes now. So I moved on, and there's someone I met forever and a day ago. I really don't think they know. Or that they can tell. Or that they care.
But I'm going to stop before this is just an autobiography.
I can't help you. That's one thing I can never seem to do when someone's upset. I usually just sit there and pat them on the back and say repetitive crap that means nothing to someone until a better candidate comes along and then just take credit for it. Maybe that's what I'm doing now. Or I'm trying to help but I'm so sick I can't figure out what I'm doing.
Or I'm trying to make an example...maybe that bad things happen to everyone, and you're not alone.
You're a good friend. I sometimes feel better around you than with people I actually know. I'm weird that way. I will never say I know how you feel. That would be lying, because no one can know how someone else really feels. I don't think I'll be able to help you much, but if you need someone, you can always talk to me. I won't be on im tonight..if you even get this today, but...I'll put it here instead of emailing it...just incase you do. You can email me at blackkat@midtel.net if you need to talk. I promise I'll keep checking it. I hope you find the footing you need.
...And, you know...if you do write everyone's stories...I think it would be nice if they could all finally settle down. They deserve it. You deserve it.
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