| Subject: it's been awhile! |
Author:
scarletyoureyes
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Date Posted: 07:36:43 01/12/06 Thu
i'm so excited that there are so many posts going on around here. I was checking in from time to time but there didn't seem to be much activity in the last few months. It's good to see that everyone is doing well. My family and I had an interesting holiday season. My grandfather, at 86 years old, decided that he wanted to stop the hemodialysis treatments that he'd been undergoing for 6 years. His body was just so weakened and tired that the treatments were doing more harm than help. He'd been such a trooper, battling many illnesses over the last probably 10 years. Several times we thought it was "death's door" but his fiesty little irish spirit wouldn't let it happen. This time, however, he was just tired and very ready to move on. Since my grandparent's house wasn't set up in a way that was condusive for hospice to set up, we had him come to our house to make his transition. I was afraid at first having never experienced anything like this before. But it was a very healing, positive experience. There were so many people coming in an out of the house, bringing food and company and their love. His sons, one of whom he hadn't seen in 11 years, came and stayed as well, one from california and one all the way from Ireland! He was like his old self, joking around, making everyone laugh. He was never uncomfortable for a second because of the medicine that hospice provided, which my aunt, who is an RN dispensed to him (he took to calling her "Nurse Ratched" which of course made everyone laugh!). When he passed on Christmas Eve morning, it was almost like he snuck away when no one was looking. He never liked to have a fuss made over him, and I am confident that he wouldn't have wanted a fuss made at the very moment he decided to move on! Of course I miss him so much. I am 21 years old and he's been a giant presence in my life! But it was so wonderful to see him so happy and peaceful, passing on in exactly the way he wanted to. The services were beautiful, there were so many people there! There were tears, but there was much more laughter and celebration, and I know that's how he wanted it to be. Overall, it was such a positive, healing, spiritual experience. Everyone showed such an outpouring of love, including Dreemy who sent over truckloads of grapes and clementines, which he ate and delighted in every morning! In fact, one morning he said the fruit was "bringing him closer to his higher power." Anyway, you can see how this made for quite an interesting and almost draining holiday. It flew by, and was so different than any other Christmas ever.
I go back to school after a long winter break in just a few days and truthfully I'm not much looking forward to it. I AM looking forward to the SCHOOL part of it: classes, learning, singing, etc. But as far as moving back into my apartment, I'm just not all that excited. I think it's because that last semester, particularly toward the end, we had some major problems with one of the roomies just being incredibly inconsiderate in the way of having a ton of people over late at night, leaving disgusting messes, etc. you see where this is going. And we talked to her several times, trying to get our points across without seeming like we were ganging up on her. She is very sensitive and my fear was hurting her feelings too much. My other roommate pretty much tells it like it is, and this has caused a few really tense arguments. So I feel like the apartment is just laden with residual tension. So I'm going to do a really thorough smudging when I get back, and I'm going to try to arrive before anyone else does so I can be alone. I know I just need to keep asking diety for help and strength to deal with these issues, to aid me along with grace. Hopefully, this semester will be a fresh new beginning, a new year, new habits, everything. I'm trying very very much to put a positive spin on the whole thing.
So enough of all that negative stuff! I got some really awesome books for Christmas, including "Magical Herbalism" and "Spell Crafts" and also a very intersting book "Herbal Healing for Women." I've started reading "Magical Herbalism" and I have a lot of questions, but I'll save that for another post since this one has been so long! I want to organize my thoughts first, also. I hope everyone has had a blessed holiday season and I hope the rampant posts keep up, because I find this to be such a positive, supportive place. Thanks again!
Peace,
Scarlet
ps. I have left a post on the weightloss site as well.
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