You Know You're Addicted to Your Computer If.... -- Oddfellow's FFVII & Z-Files Discussion Board

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Date Posted: 18:13:39 03/21/01 Wed
Author: Madcat
Author Host/IP: user-37kacml.dialup.mindspring.com / 207.69.50.213
Subject: You Know You're Addicted to Your Computer If....

* Your wife wants a diamond for her birthday, and you get her a Diamond Stealth Video Card.

* You know what PPP, SLIP, HTML & FTP mean...but darned if you can remember your wife's maiden name.

* You sit in front of the TV trying to type at a keyboard.

* When someone yells out "What's for supper?" you do a search for SUPPER.COM.

* You suspect there's a virus in your mashed potatoes.

* The optometrist looks deep in your eyes, and sees a screen saver.

* You finally save up enough to visit the Grand Canyon, and you can't help but wonder how it would look on a 21" SVGA.

* "Not tonight, I have a headache" has been replaced with "Not tonight, I finally got connected."

* You comment, while watching a sunset, that the image would be enhanced with 10% more magenta and a higher resolution.

* When someone tells you about a great new program and you're very disappointed to find that it's on TV.

* If while driving down the street, you are confused by the numbers on the houses - they do not appear to be legitimate WWW addresses.

* When you find it easier to search the National Weather Service Weather/your_town/now.html than to simply look out the window.

* When you start using phrases like: Hungry.must-eat.food.now@home.com.

* If on the way home from work, you use your portable and cellular phone in your car, to reprogram a Tomahawk missile, in flight, and redirect it to take out the joker in the Cadillac who just cut you off.

* If you try to press Alt-F4 to close your car window.

* You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

* You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue as to when it happened.

* Your nightmares are in .HTML and .GIFS.

* You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.

* All of your friends have an @ in their names.

* Your dog has its own home page.

* You write your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.

* Your husband tells you that he has had the beard for 2 months.

* Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."

* You get a tattoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape 3.0 or higher."

* You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.

* Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can talk.

* As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.

* You wake up at 4 O'clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and stop to check your email on the way back to bed.

* You turn off your computer and get an awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

* You laugh at people with 28.8 modems.

* You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com.

* You can't correspond with your mother because she doesn't have a computer.

* When your email box shows "no new messages" and you feel really depressed.

* You don't know the gender of your three closest friends because they have nondescript screen names and you never bothered to ask.

* You move into a new house and you decide to Netscape before you landscape.

* In real life conversations, you don't laugh, you just say "LOL, LOL"

* After reading this message, you immediately forward it to a friend!

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Replies:

My PC addiction one-liner... -- Oddfellow, 21:13:17 03/21/01 Wed
On a related note... -- Saint Faucet, 23:55:55 03/21/01 Wed
- A fellow RPG addict, eh? -- Madcat, 08:32:14 03/22/01 Thu
  - d20 Madness -- Saint Faucet, 14:32:03 03/23/01 Fri
    - Re: d20 Madness -- Madcat, 15:09:29 03/23/01 Fri