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Date Posted: 00:15:34 10/26/07 Fri
dnd -- Mammy, 21:26:53 10/25/07 Thu
DOTS 'N' DAISIES IS ENDING!
I want to Thank every dots 'n' daisies family for all or your support. I have had
a wonderful experience at each and every dots 'n' daisies pageant.
Believe me, coming to this decision has been a long process, I have prayed for many months regarding this decision and I believe in my heart that this is the right decision for me and my family.
There has been many different reasons for this decision and I believe I owe my dnd family
an explanation.
One very important reason is my Grandbabies, Kaylie and Kenzie. I have for the past 16 months put precious time aside for the pageant instead of spending "Quality" time with the two most precious people in my life.
Next, my wonderful Husband. Months and months I have spent hours way into the morning on the computer and focusing on the pageant. He has been a wonderful backbone and support to me and gave me full reign to focus on my dream. But he deserves better and I miss him.
Then there is my beautiful two daughters:
Tasha, my best friend and my side-kick. The week after
Nationals she ask if I would just spend the day with her. She put Kenzie in daycare and Kaylie was at school, and the first time in "like forever" we just had a day together and it was wonderful.
Tiffany, my youngest daughter, has probably suffered the most. Some of you have met her or heard about her. She doesn't like crowds. She has autisim. She is 24 years old and a beautiful girl. But she misses her Mommy
and I miss her too. You can see someone everyday and not spend "Quality" time with them. There is a huge difference.
You see, Living my dream, to run a successful business, has affected all the people that I hold dearest
in my life, however they all supported me. I am a very lucky lady. I am surrounded by love and support and
now that I have done this so called "Dream", I realize it's time to just enjoy my family!
The pageant business has to be one of the most difficult business' anyone could have ever chose. No matter what you do for the children its the title that counts. Every pageant has the Grands and the Divisional titles.
Every parent is there for the best title (of course).
I knew this going in as I was a Mammy of two pageant girls. I too was as bias as every other pageantparent out there. We bought in to the entire process..the best of the best. It took a while to understand that pageants were about "hard work" on the childs part (sometimes not their choice), lots of money and dedication from the parents and only a few really reached the top. However, I realized there is no real top. Todays title is tomorrows history. Only if it really makes a difference in the child's self esteem is it really important. How many of of children loose self esteem because they did not win. Only one in every pageant comes out on top. Yep that is life. But whos life? Ours as parents or our childrens? There are wonderful moments but they are few and far
between for most. After directing pageants for a while I choose to take my two Grandchildren out of pageants for this reason. I feel the competition is more about the parents than the children in too many cases.
The view from the directors side is very different. Everyone believes that the directors makes the money.
Well...that is so not the case and I would not advise anyone to get into this business and applaud those
that are still doing it. All the credit needs to go to the directors. The bashing first starts with the pageant
System, and yet this is their Business, and their is no re-course for all the rumors as all know these boards
are un-forgiving. Hint: Before you start complaining about costs and wanting discounts put these figures together: Costs for: Ballroom: Emcee: Judges: Cash and Gifts: crowns and Sashes..add paperwork, staging and decorations, tabulators, travel, hotel rooms, food, advertisement and hours and hours of work, plus plus. If the pageant cancels its bad for their reputation, so most regardless of contestants take a huge loss. These are the people that are judged, bashed and get all the flack. I have never heard of a contestant bargaining for discounts with a hair and makeup vendor or a coach. If every parent of a contestant were to hold a pageant prior to being able to compete it would be a completely different scenario.
The tanning, hair and makeup people will advertise to come....but usually will only come if they have booked enough contestants to pay expenses and make some money (this makes sense)...but then their are the contestants that book and don't show up... and then yes some of the vendors don't show up without even notifying the director and who is left to patch things up and stay on schedule? The director.
We have the photographers...to do the "GLITZ" photos. I believe there isn't one of these that has come to a pageant
with a full schedule with only a few that actually show up after booking a shoot yet we complain about their cost.
The only vendors in the entire Pageant Business that seems to make money and have control is the Coaches. The coaches in Texas seem to run the pageant world. They tell you what attire you should buy....who to do photos with....what pageants to do....they also seem to dictate who to be friends with and who you can cheer for. But.....we cannot blame them.....it is just what you pay them for....to make your child the best! As long as the parents continue to buy into this there will always be a HUGE separation between the contestants. Children are kept from being friends with each other. Bashing will continue on the boards. Parents will continue to fight amongst each other. Why?
I started dots 'n' daisies to try to make it different. I advertised "Experience dots 'n' daisies - We're New - We're Different"! We were different. Every child received fabulous gifts, all were crowned, no child was on stage if they were not getting an award. We accomplished our goal.
But because of my Tiffany, my daughter with autism, I have always advocated to raise up the children, to treat every child as unique, individual and wonderful as they all are. No matter how positive of a pageant experience I can give to every dots 'n' daisies Child, I cannot undo one parents reaction to their disappointment over a simple title.
I have had quite an experience the past 16 months. God has given me lifelong friends that I will always love.
Those of you who know me also know I am not one to sit back and not speak up for what I feel is right. This is not the best quality to have as a director, however, it is my best quality. This post will be my last but I hope it helps some prioritize and focus on the true goals they had when they began in pageantry.
I have seen a wonderful side of pageantry that lifts the childs self-esteem but most un-fortunately I have seen more than less a most negative side of competitiveness that happens all too often, leaving "US" the adults, all that are involved in pageantry Guilty.
Thank you to all who have supported dots 'n' daisies, my love to all of you.
Mammy
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Replies:
Not even knowing you, but simply observing all you did for all of your contestants and knowing you had to have taken a loss with your last pageant, I wish there was a "Mammy" in my pageant area to love my pageant kids and treat them as special as you have treated Texas pageant gals (NT) -- You will be missed... ~~Ultimate Grafx~~, 23:53:33 10/24/07 Wed
This is so sad that the genuine people are ultimately run out of pageants. (NT) -- so sad, 01:01:55 10/25/07 Thu
I dont believe coaches control the pageant world. People are only controlled if they let themselves be controlled. I think you had a nice pageant just that the fees were a bit high. 1200.00 for the package to do everything. The prize money did not balance out the fee. As a parent, it is our duty to show our children that is not the winning or losing that matters. Sometimes that does get lost in the weekend but pageantry is a fun hobby if you dont let it take over your life. (NT) -- Does this mean DND is over?, 04:38:41 10/25/07 Thu
Nevermind, I see that it has ended. (NT) -- PM, 04:39:52 10/25/07 Thu
Who ever said that it cost 1200.00. YOU need to get off drugs.. (NT) -- It is the Best system in the state of Texas, 04:47:44 10/25/07 Thu
Thats what the website said when I read the paperwork. I think that is why alot of people did not go. (NT) -- JMHO, 04:56:11 10/25/07 Thu
If you get on this board at least once every two weeks, you would have seen that Mammy graciously lowered the fees to $400 and $600 package deals. It was a BARGAIN! (NT) -- y, 05:10:35 10/25/07 Thu
BEST SYSTEMS IN TEXAS ARE NOVICE, A.J. PAGEANT'S ,CINDERELLA AND DDA ! (NT) -- THEY EARNED THE STATUS THAT THEY HAVE., 09:10:20 10/25/07 Thu
What is A.J.? (NT) -- ?, 09:25:45 10/25/07 Thu
Coaches do not make money from clothes, coaches don't make money from pictures, coaches don't make money off which pageants you do. They get paid by the hour like other jobs for coaching your child. (NT) -- PM, 04:58:45 10/25/07 Thu
I agree that coaches are a part of a larger problem. You have TKO's vs Strutters vs Amanda's...whatever! You don't see this "gang warfare" outside of glitz. Very silly and sad. And that's why a lot of kids and moms who do pageants as a HOBBY are getting out. Soon it will be the same 20 girls competing at every pageant, demanding more and more prizes and cash. (NT) -- m, 05:13:19 10/25/07 Thu
You are correct, they get paid by the hour but CM, AMA, DB etc all make OVER $100 an hour!!!! Most pageants families dont make 1/2 this an hour (NT) -- SAD!!! We have left the pageant world too...Everyone is money hungry, 06:06:40 10/25/07 Thu
CM makes 75.00 per hour. (NT) -- I know my daughter is her student., 06:15:53 10/25/07 Thu
Also if you want to be a "favorite one" you better see your coach at least 6 times a month!!!! (NT) -- We were doing this with our coach and she still didnt even cheer for my daughter. SAD!!!!, 06:08:03 10/25/07 Thu
Reality check - Many coaches do not love your child like you do. It is a JOB to them. Just make sure your payment is on time! (NT) -- x, 06:35:23 10/25/07 Thu
Maybe I'm naieve (sp?) but I don't see any warring going on with the coaches groups. My daughter plays with whoever she wants to at the pageants and her coach has never said anything mean about any of the other contestants. And we cheer for everyone, not just those in my daughter's group. Heck - I don't even know who
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