Re: MIA -- SpiritInside

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Subject: Re: MIA

Author:
Vicki

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Date Posted: 11:23:18 10/20/01 Sat
In reply to: MaTa 's message, "Re: MIA" on 21:33:01 10/19/01 Fri

Mata, you make me LOVE you! :) What a beautiful soul you are. I am feeling much much better and your post was the sweet icing on my mediocre cake. I totally agree with everything you have said.

After I posted last night I still was in deep thought about many things and came to the conclusion that one of the big issues with me and what probably brought on the feelings of depression was this battle I'm fighting between spiritual and physical existance. I've always been somewhat spiritual but physically I maintained high aspirations in how I dressed and presented myself, etc. I valued nice things but have never been rich so I was delighted in setting goals for something I wanted and waited patiently until I could afford it. I will admit I was sometimes caught up in the "keeping up with the Jone's" mentality. Weren't we all? That is what has changed about me. I no longer have "any" desire to purchase anything. Sometimes I do out of more or less necessity but I don't experience joy in it at all anymore. It's like I feel this whole world is just materialistic and I'm tired of participating in it. When you mentioned a bath or music or simple things, I thought "for some reason you seem to know unwittingly exactly what I was experiencing". That is amazing! I never realized how much of our lives revolve around materialistic things. If those things start to make you uneasy or sad, it's a huge part of your life. That's what I've been experiencing. I still want to dress nice and care about what I look like but that's not near as important as what I feel inside. How many articles of clothing or shoes do we really need? If our homes are clean and comfortable, who cares if we have new furniture or whatever else inside. Guess I'm struggling with this more than I realized. It may be my awareness has been raised to all the people who live without these so called conveniences but in my mind I question all of this. Are they really conveniences or truly burdens?

I told my fiance' that I think I could give away everything I have ever had and go live in a convent somewhere and be truly happy right now. Obviously he isn't happy with my attitude but I can't help it. Almost two years ago I started repairing, revamping and restoring a beautiful old house that I love but even the joy in that is not there anymore. I just keep thinking it's only materialistic. What a poor attitude I know!

Well thank you for listening and I'm not an unhappy person. Spiritually I feel rich as never before and I truly cherish friendships like yours! It's all that matters really. :)

much love to you dear friend'
Vicki

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: MIA	Robin	09:16:44 10/21/01 Sun
Re: MIA -- Vicki, 22:05:48 10/21/01 Sun