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Date Posted: 8/05/07 9:20pm
Author: Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Subject: Re: World`s gone mad
In reply to: Broomstick Pickles 's message, "World`s gone mad" on 7/05/07 10:01pm

Broomstick Pickles,

My office specializes in cases such as yours; perhaps we can help you with your difficulty. It would seem “a large hospital in Yorkshire” would be ripe for the picking as they say, if you could build a case of discrimination as their reason for denying your application for position of Neuro Surgeon. If you could prove for example that you were denied the position for reasons such a mental incompetence, felony convictions or habitual drug use I think we could get a settlement from this corporate giant.

Please reply with any information we might use such as, involuntary commitments, time spent at the pleasure of Her Majesty, or type and quantity of drug use.


Sincerely,

Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Shlockman, Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall
Attorneys at Law

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Replies:

[> Re: World`s gone mad -- Dr. VonScrotum, 13/05/07 1:07am

Ya Ya,

Ziss ist vots wrong vit the UK, good people like Broomstick Pickles go looking for employment and zee get turn down.

Vell Mr. Broomstick Pickles I vood like invite you come to Argentina to follow your dream. Here ve have Dr. VonScrotum Clinic where anyone can be Neuro Surgeon if can hoist cleaver. Tuition very affordable, but must buy own gummi apron. Zum mopping up required.

Reply to:
Dr. VonScrotum Clinic
Argentina


[ Edit | View ]

[> [> Re: World`s gone mad -- Broomstick Pickles, 15/05/07 9:30pm

Dear Dr. VonScrotum

Ya Ya unt Bla Bla..

Since my last message I have an update for you. I recently also applied to be the Commander of the Metropolitan Police but received a very terse and abusive letter back. Please see below the letter in its entireity.

***********
Dear B Pickles

On the morning of Monday May the 14th we received from a person purporting to be you a letter allegedly in your handwriting from your said self. In an orderly manner the letter was opened and was seen to have contained therein an application for the post of Commandering Chief of the Metropolitan Police.

RESULT:
Application denied due to your lack of experience and your inability to wield a truncheon menacingly at innocent motorists, OAP`s and the general tax paying citizen etc.

This decision is final and cannot be appealed.

Yours Sincerely
Acting Chief Constable Elton Nabber (AKA Nabber of the Yard)

************

I wanted to ask your advice on whether Argentina has such strict rules when it comes to applying for everyday jobs?

Regards
Broomstick Pickles
(Budding Brain Surgeon and Top-Cop Extraordinaire)


[ Edit | View ]

[> [> [> Re: World`s gone mad -- Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq., 17/05/07 7:53pm

My good man Broomstick Pickles,

I must strongly advise you to stay away from Dr. VonScrotum at all costs. While his offer of free training and certification in Neuro Surgery may sound appealing it is only a ploy to lure people such as yourself to Argentina. Once in Argentina, you would find you passport confiscated and be put to work at one of Dr. VonScrotum’s many “Clinics” which in reality are nothing more than state run slaughterhouses scattered about Patagonia.

On the other hand I had no idea you aspired to be Commandering Chief of the Metropolitan Police. Acting Chief Constable Elton Nabber is a client of our firm, having been falsely accused several times of wielding a truncheon menacingly at OAP’s and the like. If you would like I can put in a word with Acting Chief Constable Nabber and perhaps have him reconsider your application. As usual we will require a “placement” fee, something like say £ 5000 to be delivered down by the docks at midnight. In return for all this our firm only asks that you occasionally look the other way and make sure any “evidence” is misplaced should it be damaging to our interests.

Sincerely,

Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Shlockman, Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall
Attorneys at Law


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