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Date Posted: 20/09/08 12:04am
Author: Bert Smithson
Subject: Re: Hadron Collidor issues
In reply to: Professor Malcolm Scheinblanks 's message, "Hadron Collidor issues" on 19/09/08 11:22pm

Hi

I have the answer.

When I was a small boy we had an old bush tv which would often go on the blink. Dad would very cleverly give it a good thump and 9 times out of 10 it would spark back into live and run like a dream. The Large Hadron Collidor works on exactly the same principals as that old bush telly of ours all be it on a slightly grander scale, so yes, simply give her a good old fashioned thump and she`ll be as ggod as new in no time.

Failing that have one of your mechanics check out the spark plugs. Maybe the gap needs reducing on one or all 4 of them as this was often the problem with dad`s old morris oxford.

Good luck:-).

Regards

Bert Smithson
Avid reader of Science Monthly and part-time yoghurt knitter extraordinaire.

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Replies:

[> [> Re: Hadron Collidor issues -- Winnie Blenkinsop, 20/09/08 12:39am

Hi

I`m afraid I can`t help with regard to getting the Hadron Collidor up and running again but may I give a brief explanation in layman`s terms of how the HC actually works. Here goes..

HC is basically a dirty great big underground circle thingy measuring some 27 kilometres around.

Protons are shot in opposite directions at virtually the speed of light until they collide creating an amazing fireworks display the likes we have never seen before thus in theory re-creating the moment known as `The Big Bang` which occured many, many years ago.

Well, that`s about it really. There`s a bit more to it actually but I don`t want to bewilder you with technical jargon, but to summarize it`s a big circle thingy with stuff blasting round in different directions until it meets in a huge orgasmic explosion. It took a while to develop and it cost a few quid too. Who knows what the real purpose is, and maybe we`ll never know. Ends.

Regards

Winnie Blenkinsop


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