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Date Posted: 25/11/08 12:25am
Author: Reginald Sconesfield
Subject: Re: Aardvark Alarm
In reply to: Melvin Bloomdale 's message, "Aardvark Alarm" on 20/11/08 8:43pm

Just in time for the holidays every year the same thing late night adverts on the telly hawking this year’s must have product when I am most susceptible. Empty vodka bottle at my feet, credit card in hand I dial the phone and order the product even if I don’t own an aardvark, thinking to myself that someone may give me one for Christmas and I should be prepared. Every year the same thing I buy these things and come boxing day pack them up. Last year it was the Tortoise Tracker and I followed the directions with the help of my Taiwanese neighbor setting up the parameter underground wire, adjusting the sensitivity and calling the number to activate the tracking. Unfortunately my neighbor had the tracking attachment in his pocket and when he left to go home ignored the audible warning in German that was inexplicably the default language and after walking another 2 meters past the wire the built in C4 explosive charge detonated killing him on the spot.

Every year the same I hope the AAAS`s will not be the same as the Jimblejammer 3000, Python Protector Mk III, KZ-4X and Meat Free Chicken Casserole’s Chimney Security Services, with automatic nail gun, napalm purge, spear gun and sidewinder missile. Well I will see when the post delivers it, I think I will get my cousin Harold to do any assembly or testing required as the family has a disdain for him anyways.

Well off to the Pubic for a few pints and then back to my dreary flat to await delivery.

Reginald Sconesfield

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