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Date Posted: 9/09/06 1:14am
Author: Claus VanGurtner
Subject: Re: Jimblejammer 3000 - Introductory Offer
In reply to:
Peter Podgekins
's message,
"Re: Jimblejammer 3000 - Introductory Offer" on
8/09/06 12:08pm
Peter,
As a certified Jimblejammer 3000 professional, I have to caution you that due to manufacturing shortages some of the Jimblejammer 3000’s were shipped from the factory using the control electronics from the "FURBY" toy run. As such you may need to be aware that turning off the lights may seem to cause the units to become dormant. However any loud noise may suddenly reactivate them and cause the Jimblejammer 3000 to deploy it’s laser weapons. In addition the infrared capabilities and sensitive microphones will allow several Jimblejammer 3000’s to communicate and zero in on your location, which could prove deadly.
Your decision to reinforce the kitchen with sheet metal from the stove and refrigerator was quick thinking, however it will not be long before the Jimblejammer 3000’s cut through and make their way to the adjoining rooms.
Looking at the tech bulletins and engineering reports I have it seems the only way to prevent this should you loose the Master Override Password is the following. There may be something lost in the translation so use at your own risk.
First obtain a small dog, preferably a Pomeranian. Attach as many flashlights as possible to said dog. Throw some squeaky toys into the kitchen followed by the Pomeranian. In the pandemonium that follows you should be able to reach the master off switch located just below the cluster bomb bay door. Press and hold the switch for 10 seconds and the Jimblejammer 3000’s should deactivate.
Above all remember to listen for signs that the Pomeranian is deceased as should this happen the Jimblejammer 3000’s will turn on you in an instant. You must of course deactivate all units as Jimblejammer 3000’s will reactivate each other.
Claus VanGurtner
Certified Jimblejammer 3000 Professional
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Re: Jimblejammer 3000 - Introductory Offer -- Frederick Fartright,
9/09/06 12:22pm
Claus,
As a fellow Jimblejammer 3000 professional, I concur. The Pomeranian is the recommended course of action in this situation. The only caution I would add is to make sure that your Jimblejammer 3000 is not using rev 5.7.008 of the firmware, in which a small pink poodle is to be used.
You can find the current rev of the firmware by unscrewing the metal keypad cover, entering into console mode, running the level 1 diagnostic, and then starting the firmware discovery procedure on page 541 of the manual. Of course you will need the Master Failsafe password for this.
Frederick Fartright
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