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Date Posted: 8/09/06 12:08pm
Author: Peter Podgekins
Subject: Re: Jimblejammer 3000 - Introductory Offer
In reply to:
Sharky Snipes
's message,
"Jimblejammer 3000 - Introductory Offer" on
8/09/06 11:51am
I saw one of these in the supermarket and decided to buy one.
I got it home and unpacked it and noticed that it looked very similar to the KZ-4X, but the front thing was a slightly different color and shape, and the grappling hook underneath was now a different shape. A new addition, as pointed out by the booklet that comes with it (in 12 different languages, one of which vaguely looks like English), is the cluster bomb manufacturing facility mounted on top. This was not there last time, but apparently customer demand forced it upon them - I wonder how I use it in the kitchen?
Anyhow, the instructions said very clearly not to forget the Master Override password, or the unit would enter self preservation mode. All was fine, I changed a couple of settings and then change the Master Override password, as a security precaution. The password I chose was a real tricky one, and then phone rang, and it was my Aunt Doris. Anyhow, I completely forgot the password, so now I have to be very careful when I enter my kitchen. The Jimblejammer 3000 has gone into guard mode, which protects the kitchen against unknown persons, but I'm not always sure it recognises me. I have firmware 4.05.22m and that apparently has a bug where people that where plastic framed glasses and have freckles on their nose may not be recognised. A couple of times I have lifted my glasses off to rub my tired eyes, only to see the alert level rise rapidly towards self preservation mode. Quickly jamming my glasses back onto my nose, has often saved me, but it didn't last Monday. Last Monday my Jimblejammer 3000 went into self preservation mode. I managed to make it out of the kitchen just as the cluster bomb manfacturing facility started up. So the kitchen is covered in reinforced metal from my refrigerator, stove and oven and is for all intents impenetrable. A glance in the window, before it was boarded over, showed me it was still on the kitchen table surrounded by a pile of cluster bombs.
I've called the police, but they say its a domestic issue and will not interfere. I am trying to get in touch with the manufacturer in China to see if there is a fail safe password, but have had no luck so far.
If there is a certified Jimblejammer 3000 professional in the forum, a bit of advice would be much appreciated.
regards
Peter
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Re: Jimblejammer 3000 - Introductory Offer -- Claus VanGurtner,
9/09/06 1:14am
Peter,
As a certified Jimblejammer 3000 professional, I have to caution you that due to manufacturing shortages some of the Jimblejammer 3000’s were shipped from the factory using the control electronics from the "FURBY" toy run. As such you may need to be aware that turning off the lights may seem to cause the units to become dormant. However any loud noise may suddenly reactivate them and cause the Jimblejammer 3000 to deploy it’s laser weapons. In addition the infrared capabilities and sensitive microphones will allow several Jimblejammer 3000’s to communicate and zero in on your location, which could prove deadly.
Your decision to reinforce the kitchen with sheet metal from the stove and refrigerator was quick thinking, however it will not be long before the Jimblejammer 3000’s cut through and make their way to the adjoining rooms.
Looking at the tech bulletins and engineering reports I have it seems the only way to prevent this should you loose the Master Override Password is the following. There may be something lost in the translation so use at your own risk.
First obtain a small dog, preferably a Pomeranian. Attach as many flashlights as possible to said dog. Throw some squeaky toys into the kitchen followed by the Pomeranian. In the pandemonium that follows you should be able to reach the master off switch located just below the cluster bomb bay door. Press and hold the switch for 10 seconds and the Jimblejammer 3000’s should deactivate.
Above all remember to listen for signs that the Pomeranian is deceased as should this happen the Jimblejammer 3000’s will turn on you in an instant. You must of course deactivate all units as Jimblejammer 3000’s will reactivate each other.
Claus VanGurtner
Certified Jimblejammer 3000 Professional
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Re: Jimblejammer 3000 - Introductory Offer -- Frederick Fartright,
9/09/06 12:22pm
Claus,
As a fellow Jimblejammer 3000 professional, I concur. The Pomeranian is the recommended course of action in this situation. The only caution I would add is to make sure that your Jimblejammer 3000 is not using rev 5.7.008 of the firmware, in which a small pink poodle is to be used.
You can find the current rev of the firmware by unscrewing the metal keypad cover, entering into console mode, running the level 1 diagnostic, and then starting the firmware discovery procedure on page 541 of the manual. Of course you will need the Master Failsafe password for this.
Frederick Fartright
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