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Date Posted: 28/01/07 6:38pm
Author: Roger Husk (Slip sliding away.............)
Subject: Safety Banana, for the good of mankind
Whilst strolling along through the farmers market today I noticed a particularly virulent and slippery banana peel, shortly thereafter I slipped on a banana peel and bruised my arse. It was then that inspiration struck and I decided that if the Canadian Coconut Growers Co-op could grow the Saskatchewan robustus AKA "Sasquatch, it’s big and hairy and grown in Saskatchewan" then we could do something about virulent and slippery banana peel’s!
Swooping up a plastic sack from the nearby vendor I deftly scooped the offending fruit wrapper and brought it back to the lab, immediately I had a team of genetic mutation experts working on the problem peel. In mere moments they discovered the cause of "slipperiness" in banana peel’s and had devised a programme to rid the world of danger caused by these hapless fruit.
We at the Canadian Coconut Growers Co-op promise in less than three years we will develop a arctic variety of banana that can be successfully grown in Calgary in January! Totally sip proof, with a 15mm outer skin that is like a scrub pad. The internal composition of the banana will of course be altered as well with a texture not unlike Styrofoam thereby eliminating any accidents associated with discarded fruit or peel or combinations of the aforementioned.
Due to present government regulations we of course cannot market these as Bananas, instead we will call then "Anti-slip Fruit"
Be sure to buy our coconuts as well, look for the Canadian Coconut Growers Co-op label on each one and now the "banana product" as we are forced to call it under government regulations.
Roger Husk
Canadian Coconut Growers Co-op.
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Replies:[>
The Peel -- Greenland Cotton Growers Co-op ("Low Yields Our Specialty"),
2/02/07 8:03am
Greenland Cotton Growers Co-op Newsletter
On behalf of the Greenland Cotton Growers Co-op I would like to mention we already have a fruitless banana in production AKA "The Peel" a totally slip-proof banana. Unlike the product you propose it has nothing inside and the peel is already dried before the fruit ripens eliminating any processing. It uses only 5% of the water normally used to grow cactus and withstands - 10 Celsius for weeks at a time.
Leonard Wilson
Greenland Cotton Growers Co-op
"Low Yields Our Specialty"
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