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Date Posted: 2/03/07 9:06pm
Author: Dierdre Simpkins
Subject: Re: Person required to lion-sit (15th advert this year)
In reply to:
Death Notice:
's message,
"Re: Person required to lion-sit (15th advert this year)" on
2/03/07 2:44am
To whom it may concern
It has been brought to my attention that someone purporting to be me has been posting messages on this site claiming to need a lion-sitter. Further to this I also understand that sadly one Penelope Thorp has been found dead and `Arnold` (the alleged lion) has gone missing and that the authorities would like to talk to Dierdre Simpkins.
I would like to state categorically that I now no longer own a lion and that I have never posted messages on this board advertising for a person to lion-sit for me. To make matters worse and by an amazing coincidence I did in fact own a lion but sold it some weeks ago one evening to a gentleman who gave his name as Fred Smith from Worksop. I can give no description of this person other than he was a white male, about 5`6" to 6`4" tall and he spoke with a thick irish accent. I did notice that he had greyish mid-length hair which was poking out from beneath the shamrock green cap he wore on his head but other than that my mind is a blank i`m afraid.
The gentleman or should I say `suspect concerned` gave the full asking price for Arnold (Yes! Yes! I know, another weird coincidence but remember someone wins the lottery most weeks damnit!). Anyway.. after paying me the asking price of £500 the suspect proceeded to bundle Arnold into the back of a transit type van, white in colour I think, and then sped-off leaving a trail of smoke behind him. I think the number plate began or ended with an `L` - can`t be sure though.
Having discussed the situation with my solicitor I have been advised not to comment but I thought it was best to be as upfront as I can and put you all in the picture regarding this matter hence this message posting. If it comes to a police interview I can say that this message is proof beyond all reasonable doubt that I am innocent of all charges
Yours Sincerely
Dierdre Simpkins
Wildebeat meat for sale: £20 a kilo. Good for barbecues and barmitzvahs.
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