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Date Posted: 10/03/07 12:27am
Author: Arthur Kingston
Subject: Monkey Tamer Needed

I am in desperate need of a qualified monkey tamer, my three month old monkey has grown immune to the tranquilizer darts and the pills I put in his food. It would not be so bad but he’s taken over the house and now it’s worth your life just to try and move from room to room. My wife left with the kids last week and refuses to come back, all the kitchen knives are missing from the drawer and last night I ducked just in time to avoid being struck in the back of the head with a cleaver.

I know what some of you are thinking, a monkey is not a suitable pet and I should turn it over to the zoo. But if you could just see the fiery glint in the little buggers eyes and the way he curls up his lip exposing those razor sharp teeth you would not think so. I’d call the RSPCA but I think they frown on keeping monkeys as pets as well.

Therefore I am placing this advert in the hopes of finding a suitable monkey tamer and saving my marriage. I’ll have to end this here as I think I can hear him working the latch on the door so it’s time to climb out the window again.


Arthur Kingston

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