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Date Posted: 20/04/07 7:25pm
Author: Stanley
Subject: Re: Exchange wanted
In reply to: Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq. 's message, "Re: Exchange wanted" on 20/04/07 7:12pm

Roger, may I call you Q

I think we can do business but I will need a plaster cast of your clients missing leg. Would you happen to have one at your disposal? Assuming your answer is yes I will accept your offer of 3 dozen plastic clothes pegs. Would you happen to have them finished in indigo violet? Assuming your answer is also yes (i`m very good at assumptions) can we arrange a meet at the corner of Frith st and Wensleydale Terrace? Assum.. forget it.. I have been searching high and low for "Vintage Victorian” wooden pins and a galvanized washing board so the deals a good`un to my mind. Please respond with the relevent PO Box address and a good time to call.

Regards
Stanley

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Replies:

[> [> [> [> Re: Exchange wanted -- Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq., 20/04/07 9:24pm

Stanley,

I assume your intentions for wanting the cast of the missing leg are not for purposes of fraud or counterfeiting. My client would not want facsimiles of his missing appendage appearing in the odd curio shops run by foreigners, I am sure you can understand this is rather personal to my client. He was rather upset when the inspector investigating it’s disappearance in Wigan said “move along now there is nothing to see here” to curious onlookers.

I think we can accommodate your rather odd requests and indigo violet it is. If you would go down to the corner of Frith St and Wensleydale Terrace, making sure you are wearing a red Macintosh, a green Tyrolean hat with a single ostrich feather on the left side and carrying a pan of bangers (uncooked) we will meet to make the exchange. I would rather this was low key as to not attract any attention.

Sincerely,

Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Shlockman, Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall
Attorneys at Law

It would be alright to call me Q, but please not in public.


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