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Date Posted: 19/05/06 11:02pm
Author: Lester Countingfingers
Subject: Re: Domestic Incident Insurance
In reply to: Nevapay Insurance 's message, "Domestic Incident Insurance" on 19/05/06 8:57pm

My Good Sirs at Nevapay Insurance,

While my fridge is just fine my deep freezer was damaged just this morning by a rogue elephant in Kent. There was however a sticker or two on the lid showing the Concorde and the Colombia Shuttle although not together. I am submitting my claim. As I see it 1 Zimbabwe Dollar (ZWD) = 0.00000987 US Dollar (USD) so 10 Million would work out to $98.70 USD. So I’ll send the monthly premium of $200 (USD) along right away and you can send me my 10 Million.

Lester Countingfingers

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Replies:

[> [> Re: Domestic Incident Insurance -- Nevapay Insurance, 20/05/06 3:10am

Always happy to do business with a savy customer such as yourself Lester. Let me itemize your receipt -

1. Pay out +$USD98.70
2. Postage Fee -$USD10.00
3. Claims Processing -$USD89.00
4. Premium Processing -$USD99.00
5. Misc. Charge 1 -$USD98.00
6. Misc. Charge 2 -$USD76.00
7. Misc. Charge 3 -$USD86.00
8. Misc. Processing -$USD30.00
9. Your Premimum +$USD200.00
-----------
Total -$USD189.30

So why don't you send me a cheque for $USD389.30 (your $USD200 premimum plus the $USD189 you owe us) and we'll call it quits - as a bonus we'll waive our normal $USD87.00 cheque processing fee, if you reply within the next seven days.

Regards

Nevapay Insurance
"Where customer service comes first"

>My Good Sirs at Nevapay Insurance,
>
>While my fridge is just fine my deep freezer was
>damaged just this morning by a rogue elephant in Kent.
>There was however a sticker or two on the lid showing
>the Concorde and the Colombia Shuttle although not
>together. I am submitting my claim. As I see it 1
>Zimbabwe Dollar (ZWD) = 0.00000987 US Dollar (USD) so
>10 Million would work out to $98.70 USD. So I’ll send
>the monthly premium of $200 (USD) along right away and
>you can send me my 10 Million.
>
>Lester Countingfingers

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[> [> [> Re: Domestic Incident Insurance -- Lester Countingfingers, 20/05/06 6:09am

My Good Sirs at Nevapay Insurance,

Since I only have Indian Rupees @ .0221USD/1 * $USD389.30 the amount I owe you that should be $USD 17631.0077, and since I really don’t think it would be fair to your other clients I’ll pay the $USD87.00 cheque processing fee. I really was hoping for more than seven days to raise the money, but I suppose I’ll have to wait till my Mum-in-law falls asleep and pull out those gold crowns. Of course I will still have to sell the family automobile (a 1960 Hillman Minx Deluxe) I am sure I can get something for it if I just had a fortnight or two. Well it is a good feeling being insured by such a reputable firm, never again will I lie awake at night worrying about potential damage to my belongings, no sir I’ll have none of that.


Lester Countingfingers

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