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Date Posted: 5/07/06 9:58am
Author: Cedric Troutman
Subject: Re: Payment for work done
In reply to: Cedric Troutman 's message, "Payment for work done" on 5/07/06 9:54am

Further to my last notice we at the Jewish Guild for Advanced Writers will take any action necessary be it through the courts or through the gangland "Hit" route, so just be careful about how you intend to deal with this one Mr, (or Mrs etc..)
Sincerely
Ced & Co!

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Replies:

[> [> Re: Payment for work done -- Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq., 6/07/06 6:28am

Cedric,

Lest you and the Jewish Guild for Advanced Writers go berserk, I would like to note the following fine print " payment for any contributions will be paid on a prorated basis depending on how hard a or at all a Mr. Paul Farnsworth laughs or fails to laugh"

Reviewing the magnetic tape of Mr. Paul Farnsworth’s bodily functions during reading your submissions the computer program has determined you are entitled to the following compensation.

Therefore in light of the results, I would like you to come by my office between the hours of 8 AM and 8:45 on Tuesday next to receive your remuneration, mainly some cold bangers and whatever toast is left over. If you arrive before Suzy the office girl there may be a packet of jam left over.

Sincerely,

Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Shlockman, Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall
Attorneys at Law


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[> [> [> Re: Payment for work done -- Hamidi Azzizi, 6/07/06 10:20am



Would they be some of my quality sausages by any chance?

Hamidi Azzizi

PS See further down under "Quality Sausages"

[snip]
>Therefore in light of the results, I would like you to
>come by my office between the hours of 8 AM and 8:45
>on Tuesday next to receive your remuneration, mainly
>some cold bangers and whatever toast is left over. If
>you arrive before Suzy the office girl there may be a
>packet of jam left over.
>
>Sincerely,
>
>Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
>Shlockman, Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall
>Attorneys at Law


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[> [> [> [> Re: Payment for work done -- Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq., 6/07/06 6:28pm

Hamidi,

You may want to drop by Cedric’s place later as I think there may well be a large quantity of quality kosher sausage meat lying about.


Sincerely,

Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Shlockman, Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall
Attorneys at Law


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[> [> [> Re: Payment for work done -- Cedric Troutman, 6/07/06 1:47pm

Dear Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
I`m sorry but this simply is`nt good enough. Might I remind you that I have written articles and short stories for many esteemed Magazines and Periodicals: "Gardeners World;" "Hustler;" and "Mud Wrestling Lesbo`s" to name but three.
I must formally warn you that unless a reasonable offer is`nt made by latest tuesday week I will have no option but to contact my solictors Ahmed,Smith, Stein and Isaacs and advise them to take whatever action they deem necessary to ensure I get what`s coming to me.
I look forward to hearing from you accordingly
Sincerely
Cedric Troutman
Chairperson and Conkernose Jewish Guild for Advanced Writers


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[> [> [> [> Re: Payment for work done -- Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq., 6/07/06 6:20pm

Cedric,

No need to get your bloomers all in a knot, I also don’t see the need to involve your solictors Ahmed,Smith, Stein and Isaacs in this business, I can assure you, you will get what’s coming to you!

I am sending Vladimer, Zvonimir and Pankracije of Vladimer, Zvonimir and Pankracije Ltd. over straight away to deliver.

Sincerely,

Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Shlockman, Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall
Attorneys at Law


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