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Date Posted: 17/12/05 11:17pm
Author: Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Subject: Re: Death Notice: Bodger
In reply to:
Meat Free Chicken Casserole
's message,
"Death Notice: Bodger" on
17/12/05 9:46pm
Dear MFCC and all the staff at Kind and Caring Problem Solvers Inc.
Dreadfully sorry to hear of your loss, and the damage to the three stories above as well, I trust no innocent bystanders were hurt. You may want to refine your building plans, when I was with the Her Majesty's Brigade, our powder magazines were designed with a weak wall or side that would direct the blast away from personnel I would keep this in mind!
It is a sad state of affairs when even the loo is not a safe place, "a man’s home is his castle" they say and at least the throne should be sacrosanct. Since British Leyland took over, the quality and safety has gone out of the entire privy industry, damnably sad I say. When the Norton works was still making toilets before the labour unions mucked everything up, there was still a flush of pride in the empire.
Again my sympathy, did Bodger have any family? I would like to send them something.
Sincerely,
Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Shlockman, Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall
Attorneys at Law
PS- I will not be opening your gift (special pen) till Christmas, or I may just pass it on Boxing Day as I already have several fine writing instruments including several "novelty" pens which spray acid/teargas and my favorite teak handled 9MM fountain pen .
>Much loved and missed by all the boys at Kind and
>Caring Problem Solvers Inc (as retained by IMJW).
>
>Bodger died suddenly when his toilet unexpectedly
>exploded, and attempted to enter orbit, last Sunday.
>Would anyone who has seen said toilet and parts of
>Bodger please return them to Problem Solvers. Repairs
>to the affected three storeys above Problem Solvers,
>and the roof, are being made as we speak. The quality
>of toilets is obviously heading down hill.
>
>On the bright side, this incident has opened up the
>following two new positions in our firm -
>1. Replacment for Bodger - strong, ability to follow
>orders without question, deep thinking and large
>vocabulary not required. Previous residence at Her
>Majesty's pleasure is no barrier to employment.
>2. Scout - some one to go ahead and make sure
>everything is working properly - open doors, windows,
>sit on chairs, lift toilet seats etc ...
>
>MFCC
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Replies:[>
Re: Death Notice: Bodger -- Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.,
17/12/05 11:24pm
Sorry Old Man during such a trying time, but did you get my letter RE: Hairy Mongolian Political Commentary Sheep? My client is very keen to cement a deal ASAP. Hope you find replacement workforce soon, Anthony is over the east end interviewing now, when he returns I'll see if he has any leads. The "scout" position should not be too hard to fill, but Bodger will be missed. You might say he left his mark on nearly everyone he met.
Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
>Much loved and missed by all the boys at Kind and
>Caring Problem Solvers Inc (as retained by IMJW).
>
>Bodger died suddenly when his toilet unexpectedly
>exploded, and attempted to enter orbit, last Sunday.
>Would anyone who has seen said toilet and parts of
>Bodger please return them to Problem Solvers. Repairs
>to the affected three storeys above Problem Solvers,
>and the roof, are being made as we speak. The quality
>of toilets is obviously heading down hill.
>
>On the bright side, this incident has opened up the
>following two new positions in our firm -
>1. Replacment for Bodger - strong, ability to follow
>orders without question, deep thinking and large
>vocabulary not required. Previous residence at Her
>Majesty's pleasure is no barrier to employment.
>2. Scout - some one to go ahead and make sure
>everything is working properly - open doors, windows,
>sit on chairs, lift toilet seats etc ...
>
>MFCC
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