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Date Posted: 17/12/05 11:24pm
Author: Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Subject: Re: Death Notice: Bodger
In reply to:
Meat Free Chicken Casserole
's message,
"Death Notice: Bodger" on
17/12/05 9:46pm
Sorry Old Man during such a trying time, but did you get my letter RE: Hairy Mongolian Political Commentary Sheep? My client is very keen to cement a deal ASAP. Hope you find replacement workforce soon, Anthony is over the east end interviewing now, when he returns I'll see if he has any leads. The "scout" position should not be too hard to fill, but Bodger will be missed. You might say he left his mark on nearly everyone he met.
Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
>Much loved and missed by all the boys at Kind and
>Caring Problem Solvers Inc (as retained by IMJW).
>
>Bodger died suddenly when his toilet unexpectedly
>exploded, and attempted to enter orbit, last Sunday.
>Would anyone who has seen said toilet and parts of
>Bodger please return them to Problem Solvers. Repairs
>to the affected three storeys above Problem Solvers,
>and the roof, are being made as we speak. The quality
>of toilets is obviously heading down hill.
>
>On the bright side, this incident has opened up the
>following two new positions in our firm -
>1. Replacment for Bodger - strong, ability to follow
>orders without question, deep thinking and large
>vocabulary not required. Previous residence at Her
>Majesty's pleasure is no barrier to employment.
>2. Scout - some one to go ahead and make sure
>everything is working properly - open doors, windows,
>sit on chairs, lift toilet seats etc ...
>
>MFCC
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Replies:[>
Re: Death Notice: Bodger -- Mr. James Thomas. #249531,
19/12/05 1:36am
Kind and Caring Problem Solvers Inc.
MFCC,
I would like apply for the position left open by Bodger, you stated in your advert:
Replacment for Bodger - strong, ability to followorders without question, deep thinking and large
vocabulary not required. Previous residence at HerMajesty's pleasure is no barrier to employment. Here is my resume from 1975 till present
1975-1980
HMYOI & Remand Centre Glen Parva
10 Tigers Road
Wigston
Leicester
LE 18 4TN
auto theft, assault and theft of a train (5 years w/3 months added for assaulting a guard.)
1981-2003
HMP Gartree
Gallow Field Road
Market Harborough
Leicestershire
LE16 7RP
Attempted murder of a judge with enhancements for using bug spray and fox terrier. 25 years.
Released to HMP Wormwood Scrubs for good behavior 2003
2003-present
HMP Wormwood Scrubs
P.O. Box 757
Du Cane Road
London
W12 OAE
At the parole hearing they said I should be released 1/1/2006 baring any further incident. My doctor says I have a condition where endorphins are released during violent behavior and I am addicted to this endorphin release. I think not, I do not drink, smoke or use any drugs never have. Me mum always said I was just frisky or was that the name of her kitty what was found nailed to the lorry when I was 13?
Looking forward to your reply I think (but not much) that you would find me a loyal employee, my years at HMP have taught me to follow orders without question, and I love to snap bones.
Please post your reply to:
Mr. James Thomas. #249531
C/O HMP Wormwood Scrubs
P.O. Box 757
Du Cane Road
London
W12 OAE
allow a few weeks for reply as they open all my mail and often cut out parts.
>Much loved and missed by all the boys at Kind and
>Caring Problem Solvers Inc (as retained by IMJW).
>
>Bodger died suddenly when his toilet unexpectedly
>exploded, and attempted to enter orbit, last Sunday.
>Would anyone who has seen said toilet and parts of
>Bodger please return them to Problem Solvers. Repairs
>to the affected three storeys above Problem Solvers,
>and the roof, are being made as we speak. The quality
>of toilets is obviously heading down hill.
>
>On the bright side, this incident has opened up the
>following two new positions in our firm -
>1. Replacment for Bodger - strong, ability to follow
>orders without question, deep thinking and large
>vocabulary not required. Previous residence at Her
>Majesty's pleasure is no barrier to employment.
>2. Scout - some one to go ahead and make sure
>everything is working properly - open doors, windows,
>sit on chairs, lift toilet seats etc ...
>
>MFCC
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