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Date Posted: 14/02/06 9:39pm
Author: Mildred Pukeman
Subject: Free speach in a world gone mad
I run a very large janatorial company (2 people). I tried to place an advertisement in our local rag for an office junior.
For some reason my advert was`nt published and for the life of me I can`t think why. Please see the advertising copy below.
Office junior required, can`t be any of the following:
BLACK; STUPID; BENT; LAZY; CRIMINALLY INSANE; OVER 5`8";
OVER 35; AMBITIOUS.
I await your eagle-eyed response:-)
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Re: Free speach in a world gone mad -- Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.,
14/02/06 11:00pm
Mildred,
I am suprised ! How do you expect to hire the incompetent with an advert that reads AMBITIOUS!
Slovenly , humpbacked, mildly retarded, all would have been a better choice. Besides how do you expect to find an employee of the caliber your looking for with a newspaper advert? It’s liable to be weeks before they find themselves nestled in an alleyway wrapped in a paper. My associates Vladimer, Zvonimir and Pankracije of Vladimer, Zvonimir and Pankracije Ltd. would be more than glad for a small fee to go down by the waterfront and find a candidate for your position. You would not even need to pay said employee, just a small fee to Pankracije when he comes by each week to collect the union fees.
Sincerely,
Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq.
Shlockman, Sueman, Kneebreaker and Stall
Attorneys at Law
>I run a very large janatorial company (2 people). I
>tried to place an advertisement in our local rag for
>an office junior.
>For some reason my advert was`nt published and for the
>life of me I can`t think why. Please see the
>advertising copy below.
>
>Office junior required, can`t be any of the following:
>BLACK; STUPID; BENT; LAZY; CRIMINALLY INSANE; OVER
>5`8";
>OVER 35; AMBITIOUS.
>
>I await your eagle-eyed response:-)
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Re: Free speach in a world gone mad -- Mildred Pukeman,
15/02/06 1:05pm
Call me Mild`
Since my last posting I have filled the vacancy. My next door neighbour but 2`s stepdaughter Nancy has all the credentials necessary to be a, for want of a better word, "Workhorse."
Thank you for your kind offer though Pal!
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Re: Free speach in a world gone mad -- Hon. Roger Q. Shlockman III Esq, 16/02/06 6:04pm
I`m filling in for the Hon Roger, he is fellwalking in Luton.
I was very pleased to hear that you filled the vacancy and hope that the person enjoys a keen sense of humour. I run a
sanctuary for arthritic penguins, so, if you happen to own, or know someone that does, a penguin, one of our staff will check him out for arthritis. Bring him along or post him to:
The Radyan Kominesky Home For Penguins Meat, 236 Flint St, Arbroath, PH4 45G Bonny Scotland.
P.S. Don`t be too put-off by the title; "Meat" was my little joke:-)See ya!
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