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Date Posted: 13/04/06 7:38pm
Author: Beau Smithboulder
Subject: Re: Bedbeger
In reply to:
Mortimer Crumbcake
's message,
"Re: Bedbeger" on
13/04/06 5:45pm
Dear Mortimer
I must admit I did`nt see any asterisk although I was`nt looking for one at the time but leaving that aside you do of course realise that we are now in the EU and under section (5) paragraph (29) of the "Weights and Measures" Act 2004 it is an offence to mislead (intentionally or otherwise) customers who purchase goods for use within the EU. If found guilty you could and would be liable of a term no less than 15 years imprisonment or a fine of £567,000 or both. Furthermore if your shoelaces are in breach of the "Oh my God look at those" law of 1968 you will be shot to death without trial or made to work in Macdonalds for more than 12 lunar years. This is of course taking into account the Peruvian Governments recently revamped Law surrounding Cornflake diametre; weight; and tossability values. As you are no doubt aware Cornflakes are like truffles in Peru due their scarceness and high salt content when compared to chip-shop-chips! I remain and look forward to your earliest reply
Respectfully...
BS.
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Re: Bedbeger -- Mortimer Crumbcake,
13/04/06 8:51pm
Dear BS,
Of course we are very aware of all those pesky laws that do nothing but put the burden on honest hardworking people such as myself and coworkers. With that in mind it was exactly why we chose the Cayman Islands as our registered headquarters and of course the voracious Cayman as the company mascot. Just like our founder who was known to bludgeon any competitor and then drown them.
Therefore that being said, you see we are not obligated by any of that EU rubbish to be either fair or honest. Just like the good old days we can set our sights on profit without government interference. Of course it has it's downside, always listening for the creak of a coppers shoe on the doorstep, crackles on the phone. But the retirement plan is in place, at the first sign of trouble we are off on the Lear jet to our corporate retreat.
Mortimer
PS- thanks for the tip on Peruvian Cornflakes, we will be sure to look into the marketing possibilities as I think we have a warehouse full that are too hot for the EU market.
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