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Date Posted: 00:55:24 10/23/02 Wed
Author: Sonali
Subject: NEW BABY OF MINE WITHOUT A NAME - Prologue & Chapter 1

Alright here we go again...constructive feedback will be GREATLY appreciated! :)

PROLOGUE


Friends. True friends have only best intentions when they do things for you. Just like you want to see them happy, they want to see you happy. Love. A very complicated emotion, to say the least. So many lines that are difficult to determine when they have been crossed. So many grey areas. But also such an unbelievable, inexplicable feeling. Sometimes people get lucky when they mix friends and love. Other times, things just get messy. Complicated. Bad. Hearts are broken, bonds are broken. Things just spin out of control and the more you try to regain order, the more things spin out of control. It’s so sad to think that when you’re happy, when you’re in love, in the back of your mind, you fear the end of happiness, love replaced with sadness, emptiness. And those feelings last so much longer than the happiness. Two best friends, practically almost sisters. One sets the other up with her boyfriend’s friend. Will the joyful, loving feelings outlive the sadness?





CHAPTER 1

“This is such bullshit. Why does the media care so much? Why can’t they back the fuck off,” Justin ranted before slamming his door shut, causing JC and his girlfriend, Zahra, to flinch slightly.

“Man, I knew we shouldn’t have been watching that show. It was bound to happen, but doesn’t it kind of sound too…”

“Predictable,” Zahra finished for JC.

“Exactly.”

“Yeah. But there’s one thing I don’t understand. I mean, I know they dated and shared this inexplicable, fairytale romance, but didn’t he end up dumping her?”

“Yeah he did.”

“So I don’t understand why he’s SO angry. I mean, I know it’s only human to feel a little upset, jealous, whatever. But I just think he’s overreacting a little much. But then again, I wasn’t here during the Britney phase so I really am in no position to be making such judgments.”

“No, don’t think like that. I understand, and agree with you. They broke up over seven months ago. I think it just irks him that she’s moved onto HIM and she’s being so open and public about it. I mean, Justin’s kind of dated, nothing serious, but he’s kept it quiet and had the common courtesy not to be public about it, taking into consideration her feelings,” JC said.

“Plus I guess he’s getting more nervous by the day about his album. I don’t understand why people are being so critical. Just because he’s releasing an album doesn’t mean it’s the end of NSYNC. He, along with the rest of you have made that clear – you guys are not broken up. I don’t understand how you all can handle being famous,” Zahra sighed.

“It’s a gift, I guess,” JC said jokingly, but getting no laughs out of Zahra.

“Yeah well I can hardly take the pressure of being your girlfriend. I managed to stumble across the millionth anti-Zahra, I’m a bitch and deserve to die and rot in hell website,” she said softly. Immediately, JC felt like he had been dealt a blow to the stomach. It KILLED him to hear about such garbage like this. Sure, he had to deal with it with previous girlfriends, but with Zahra, it was different. It affected him so much more intensely. Of course he knew why but was too scared to admit it, and of course didn’t voice any of this to anyone. Zahra felt him tense up and clench her shoulder just a bit tighter as she said this to him. She didn’t say anything.

“You know, as much as I love our fans and whatnot, this is just ridiculous. Attack me all you want but leave you and my family out of all this garbage,” JC said angrily. Zahra felt guilty for opening her mouth and inadvertently souring JC’s mood.

“Baby, it’s okay. Really. I don’t even know why I brought it up. I mean, after all, you really can’t blame them. I’d be pissed off too, knowing Prince Charming was off the market,” she said with a grin. Seeing her smile, seeing her try to cheer him up, made JC flash that infamous grin, yes, the one that drove ANY woman crazy. He leaned down and kissed her softly, feeling a little less afraid of confronting his true feelings for her.






Justin paced his room until his legs felt heavy. As he paced, though, all of his thoughts collided with one another, not really connecting with one another. It was just an enormous outflow that he had been holding back for a long time now. Of course, the report on Access Hollywood about Britney now dating Nick opened the floodgate of his emotions, letting his outburst occur. He didn’t even really care that they were dating. In the back of his mind, he figured it was a set-up, either by her people or his. Who knew? Who cared? He wasn’t really jealous, either. Just hurt that she would be so open about it. Yeah, it had been a while since they broke up, but still. He managed to elude reporters about his flings with the dancer, Jenna, and somehow, even the short-lived, but still managed to make him grin even now, one with the Miss Jackson. Sure, he knew a lot of people didn’t believe him and knew he had hooked up with them, but he never openly said anything or did anything to give reporters more fuel. Here, with Britney though, she was handing them a tank of gasoline! Just plain old inconsideration.

Of course, Britney wasn’t the only thing bothering him. His album. Shit, he had never been so scared in his life. Sure, he appeared as confident as ever during interviews but deep down inside, it just felt so different without his other four brothers beside him. No, it wasn’t the end of NSYNC and yes, this was his choice, his own decision to do the solo album, but now he was worried he had gotten himself in too deep. It was different when he, as a part of NSYNC, was bombarded with criticism – the whole boyband bullshit. Now, though, any criticism was directed right at HIM – alone. He was smack damn in the middle of a firing range with no protection. This baby, it was his heart, his soul, his blood, his sweat, his tears. No matter how much he tried to convey this to the public, he still got flack.

Justin could handle it, but it just hurt so much more since this album was so goddamn personal. It didn’t take a genius to figure out upon hearing it what had transpired between he and Brit. That was a huge risk he took and as Justin finally sat down on the bed, he realized he was glad he took it. Sure, he was telling the public something very private, but he had taken the high (and creative) road in doing so. And believe it or not, he didn’t do it intentionally. The words would just come pouring out of his mind forcing his hand to write with such intensity that after a few minutes, his hands would cramp up.

Finally, the one thing that he didn’t want to admit but knew he could no longer avoid – he was lonely. Sure, he had tons of family and friends around him at any given point. Women, oh the women. They flocked to him more than before, knowing how open he had been about wanting to enjoy bachelorhood and live it up. However, it got old real fast. It had been fun and still was to a certain degree, but in all the chaos that was called his life, Justin wanted something stable, a constant that would provide comfort. He was human after all and what human doesn’t crave that?

It was funny how everyone thought of Justin as this confident, cool, independent man who did as he pleased. There was some truth in that, but no one knew how dependant he was upon the other guys. They didn’t even know that. After breaking up with Britney, Justin took good notes from Joey on how to soak up every ounce of living ‘the life.’ You know, partying your ass off until dawn, flirting with any girl who looked his way, being the ultimate playboy. Now, though, Justin was tired of that. Now he looked to JC. JC had this amazing relationship with Zahra that had started ironically enough at the end of his and Brit’s. They were meant for each other – she kept him grounded, he pampered her and made her feel like the princess she deserved to be treated as. When they showed affection for one another in public, they did it in such a way that couldn’t help but make you smile as long as you had a beating heart. It was never obnoxious or made you feel uncomfortable. Justin, along with the rest of the guys were waiting until the two exchanged those three words that would take their relationship to the next level.

Justin smiled thinking about that, remembering how amazing it felt when he said those words to Brit. Not only saying them but seeing her eyes light up bright enough to outshine the moon. Knowing that he had made her feel so elated gave him the ultimate satisfaction, or so he thought. That was until she responded, letting him know she was indeed in love with him as well. Justin wanted to feel that again. Not with Britney, but not with any random girl either. Would he ever find her? Justin’s heart sank as he thought about the answer that came to his mind within a split-second – no.







“Jace, baby, my phone,” Zahra said as she tried to take her lips away from his as they made out like hormonal teenagers on the couch.

“Let it ring. Voicemail is a wonderful thing.”

“Joshua, control yourself,” she said as she finally managed to regain her composure. JC sighed and leaned back, thinking how women had the ability to do that – go from being all over a guy to being all prim and proper within a half-second it seemed. Women were a subject that baffled him beyond belief but he loved trying to figure out a little more with Zahra.

“Hurry and answer it,” he said impatiently. Zahra smiled as she watched him, noticing how much he resembled a three-year old having to go potty. That boy was so impatient at times it amazed her that she was able to deal with it. She adored him all the more for it.

“Hello,” she said.

“Finally! Let me guess, I interrupted a mad making-out session, didn’t I?”

“Actually, you did.”

“Oh my gosh! I am so sorry. I’ll call you back!”

“No, no, no, Sonali, believe me, we’ll have more than enough time for that later,” Zahra said smiling wickedly as she caught JC’s eye. He grinned and softly kissed her cheek.

“Alright then…so I just wanted to make sure you were coming next week,” I said.

“Of course I am. In fact, JC will be too,” Zahra said. He looked at her quizzically but she brushed it off with a wave of her hand, signaling she’d explain later.

“Yay! At least one celebrity will be there! I am so nervous!”

“Sonali, for the millionth time, everything will go perfectly well. You are so talented and you know that I’ll always be a customer.”

“Whatever. You may be a customer, but not a PAYING one.”

“That’s not my fault.”

“I don’t charge my friends.”

“Alright, alright. Well after next week, I have a feeling you’ll have a whole lotta paying customers. So do you have a date?”

“Ugh. No. Stag it will be for me.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“I’m not gonna go with some random schmuck. I’ll have enough to worry about that night anyways. I need to focus completely on making sure the show runs smoothly.”

“Good point. But just think of all the hot celebrities who will be knocking on your door once they find out that there’s this amazing designer who’s pretty enough to model her clothes herself.”

“Uh, yeah, okay I’m gonna go let you take your medication now.”

“Shut up. Oh, um, I haven’t asked the other guys yet since, well, they’re all in random places but is it okay if I bring more than JC with me?”

“Of course it is. I don’t mind who you bring as long as you get here as promised.”

“Sonali, I’ll be there next Thursday to help with any last minute preparations and all day Friday for the show. Then we have the weekend to party and celebrate!”

“Good. I cannot wait to see you and finally meet JC!”

“Oh god. Please promise me you’ll be on your best behavior?”

“I gotta go chica!”

“SONALI!”

“You know I don’t make promises I can’t keep.”

“Sonali, you are evil. Pure evil.”

“Love you too!”

“Bye Sonali!”

“Bye Zahra!” With that she hung up her phone and turned to JC.

“Sonali’s fashion show, next Friday?”

“Oh yeah, how could I have forgotten. When do we leave?”

“Thursday morning. And we come back Monday afternoon.”

“Sounds good. I love being able to make plans like this and not worry about interviews, concerts, rehearsals. I’m a free man baby!”

“Well even though you’re free, Justin isn’t and well, I know it’s close to his release date but don’t you think a nice little trip to Chicago would be good for him?” Zahra grinned as the wheels continued to turn in her mind.

“I know that look all too well. Do you think it’d be a good idea? I mean, no offense to Sonali, I know she’s one of your best friends, but well…”

“She could give a rat’s ass as to who he is. He wants to meet someone. She wants to meet someone. Come on, what are friends for?”

“Alright, let’s go tackle him together then. Lord knows that it’s gonna take the both of us to get him to even consider this,” JC said, helping his girlfriend get up from the couch and make their way to Justin’s room.

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