Date Posted:16:30:39 08/05/03 Tue Author: Adilbrand Subject: Question Answer Session In reply to:
mvd
's message, "Re: Good argument" on 15:14:47 08/05/03 Tue
Question 1: Who decides who is settling for less? I mean people who actually say, "Well, I settled for the first thing that came along", "Well, I was tired of looking for a job I liked, so I just settled for this one," or, worse yet, "I got tired of the dating scene, so I just settled on this asshole."
I have heard all of the above comments, and thousands of similar ones. It is not I making the judgement. It was the people who were the best to know who called it.
That is who decides it. The person that settled for less. The person who later regrets it a little, but lives with it and calls it "comfortable" or "contentedness." When that person tells me they settled for less, then I go ahead and accept their viewpoint on that matter.
Question 2: Less of What? Less than what they really deserved, I guess. I don't know that I ever asked those that claim to have settled for less. Less than they could have had if they had chosen to be patient or chosen not to have given up.
Question 3: When you say you are making your life better, what does that mean? That means I am doing things that make me feel significant. I am doing things that help my self esteem.
Question 4: How was it so bad? Well, I had a job I chose to hate in the past; worked with people that I chose not to respect in the past; had to scramble and live paycheck-to-paycheck in the past. None of those situations exist anymore. I am slowly gaining more and more recognition where I work, and for my DnD stuff. Was it "bad" before? No. But it is definitely "better" now. There is no reason why "better" cannot be an improvement on "good".
Question 5: It is basically just a personal thing, isn't it? Yes.
Question 6: And as such, who are we to judge who has "settled" and who has not? I really don't make that judgement. I accept the judgement of those who are in the position to make that judgement - the parties that did it in the first place, and tell me.
Question 7: Perhaps settling is a very pleasant way to live? Having settled on a few things myself, I can say that, for me, it is not a pleasant way to live. It leaves me wondering if things could have been better. Perhaps for others it is, but usually the ones that talk to me about having settled on less tend not to think of it as pleasant - just stupid.
