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Date Posted: 07:28:59 05/29/00 Mon
Author: Serya
Subject: Serya's Letter of introduction
In reply to: Limboland 's message, "Letters of introduction" on 17:01:48 05/26/00 Fri

Date: Mon, 08 May 2000

Hi to all,
I was so excited to see this group get started and reading other intros that
I didn't do my own! I'm 48, or at least for 20 more days.
I have 3 grown children all away from home, one married, no Grandchildren.
Have a great husband, but he is in denial about what I may be dealing with.

I think I've probably been dealing with symptoms for several years, but
about 3 years ago I went through a terrible bout with depression, sought
counseling, was told my problems were not in my head, seek a physical
reason. I couldn't sleep, I was a walking zombie. Took zoloft for over a
year and they kept increasing my dosage, but I never saw any benefits, I
remained the same. Quit cold turkey.

About this time last year the fatique set in and my knees would on occassion
just give out. By June I began having difficulty walking.
It was so painful I would cry just thinking about having to get up and move
across the room. I could not feel my feet, felt as if I was walking on the
ends of my legs. This persisted until after the beginning of August. The
pain eventually left and now I only limp when I'm tired or been on my feet
alot. I actually thought at the time I had been struck with arthritis but
after reading arthritis materials I was convinced I must be experiencing
something else. The heat was killing me. I was having electrical shocks
starting at my head and traveling down one side or the other to my feet,
sometimes both sides.
This causes my ankles to completely give out and I end up on the ground face
down. Fortunately it usually only happens to one side at a time.

About a week before Labor Day I began to have the pins and needles in my
legs, feet, hands, arms, twitches in my face, short stabbing pains in
various places with no consistency. I would smack at my legs thinking an insect was crawling on me, but nothing was there. I began walking into door facing and walls. Itching became worse. Finally realized I had been
itching for over two years and things like panty hose were unbearable to wear. I changed brands several times, but the itching and burning feet continued. I also have had a numb right big toe for over two years, thought I probably wore too tight of shoes, whatever!

I finally sought help from my MD. I never go to the Dr. Had only seen this guy once before for myself. My regular Dr. died suddenly several years ago and fortunately I hadn't needed one. He was very kind, listened and said he suspected MS. Ordered a MRI and blood work. Blood work looked normal, MRI showed several very small laser type white spots. MRI report stated they indicated a demylinating disease.
Off to the Neuro I went. First off I picked up that he was ticked off because the MD had ordered the MRI, think he thought that was out of line.
He said the MRI was unimpressive. Put me on Paxil, ordered a spinal tap and made me redo all the blood test, he wouldn't except the others even though they were only a few weeks old. (Couldn't deal with the Paxil, kept me awake at night, no matter how early in the am I took it) Everything was normal. He suggested I was depressed, said there was no pain with MS, MS is one sided and my symptoms were all over, and my symptoms would probably go away with time. You are overweight and stressed. You can come back in 6 months if you are still having problems, dismissed.
It is now the end of October. By the end of November I start having eye floaters, severe eye pain, tremors, buzzing, one sided chills, legs and arms
become heavy, stiffness of joints, swollen hands and feet, neck crunching, bone pain, ears ringing, ankles continue to give out and occassionally have the electric shock down my spine.

The first of February I saw a MS specialist at a MS clinic about 60 miles from home. He wasn't covered by my insurance and it cost me $150 to see him. I was told I have classic MS symptoms, but was probably too old to have it and if I do it would never progress at my age. Possible MS. Since then my symptoms have become worse at times, and new ones have appeared such as buzzing in my abdomen, pelvic, blurry vision, bladder problems, slobber on one corner of my mouth somedays, and etc., etc.

So here I am a certified LIMBODIAN! Only a few close co workers, my best girlfriend and my husband know of my problems. I don't speak of them as I feel they think I'm nuts, but my friend is very close to me and she does pick up on the days I'm really not myself recognizes I have a problem. My husband tends to chuckle and make light of my limp, clumsiness and drunk walk.
So I pretend too when I'm around him. Other times I'm just overwhelmed with the unknown. I know my body is not performing naturally, but you can't see it all from the outside and the tests do not prove anything at this time.

The Neuro said he would do another MRI in April, but I chose not to put myself at his mercy again. I don't feel comfortable with his knowledge of MS and his condescending attitude is more than I'm up to right now. I can't afford to see the specialist for testing. Guess I'm waiting for the big one! I'm dreading the heat as it hasn't gotten above 75 here yet and already my symptoms are speeding up and have become more pronounced. Since the heat wave hit here about 2 weeks ago I've noticed it harder for me to get my limbs working after they've been stilled.

Ok, I've rattle on long enough. I am so glad this group collected. I'm encouraged we can learn from one another. Good luck to all and may we all find an answer soon! If you haven't written a intro, do so right away.
Chloe is great to get this started. Serya

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Replies:

  • Michelle's Letter of introduction -- Michelle Nelson, 11:42:28 05/30/00 Tue
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