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Date Posted: 16:38:22 01/07/02 Mon
Author: Ozmandayus
Author Host/IP: adsl-66-72-103-193.dsl.chcgil.ameritech.net / 66.72.103.193
Subject: Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink. Part 2 of Creeping Trilogy

Title: Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink
Part 1 of 2
By: Ozmandayus

Summary: Spike exposes the affair to Anya, Dawn observes Buffy's strange behavior. Anya gets her powers back and seeks revenge.

Category: B/X, humor, romance, sexual innuendo, language.
Rated: A Hard R

Spoilers: For season 5 up until "Into the Woods", then the story before this one. "A Little bit of uh huh and a Whole lot of oh yeah!!!"

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns everything. I own the write feed the B/X starved people of the world. That is my crusade.

Feedback: send all you have to mrsinister@mailhost.chi.ameritech.net
Distribution: You may archive this fic anywhere as long as you tell me first.

Authors Notes: This is the second chapter in the "Creeping" trilogy. The last chapter, "Telling the truth is just an excuse for a lack of an imagination." will follow shortly.

Authors Notes 2: This is the Spike I love to hate. He is without a trace of Buffy love. He is filled with sarcasm, wit, wicked revenge tactics. The one true Big Bad is back. Humor everywhere!!

Authors Notes 3: One of my favorite Authors makes a cameo in this story. I hope he thinks it's kind of funny. That is how I intended it to be.

******


Spike's Car
Right outside of the Best Western Motel
Thursday, January 11, 2001 12:30 AM




"Hey! Gotta gotta payback!! (The big payback) Revenge!! I'm mad (the big payback) Got to get back! Need some get back!! Payback! (the big payback) That's it!! Payback!! Revenge! I'm mad!!," Spike sung with energy while tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, mimicking the Godfather of Soul James Browns 70's anthem, the Big Payback.

Whenever he needed to plot some getback he pulled out the James Browns Greatest hits CD and played the Big Payback.

Nodding his head to the beat, Spike watched as Anya edged closer and closer to the front window of in Spikes mind, that Bitch and Xander's room.

A notorious grin flashed across his face as Anya looked through partially opened window. Her quick retreat obviously meant she had seen enough. Spike followed her as she ran back across the street to were his car was parked. She rushed in, slamming the passenger door.

"Hey, this car ain't brand new. You can't be slammin my ride like that. You American's have no manners."

Anya's eyes were wide with fury as she turned to face him. She looked like she about to explode. "How long has he been fucking Buffy behind my back?" she snarled.

Spike smirked at her, thinking that a little white lie wouldn't hurt. He wanted her riled up and ready for revenge.

"Xander and the Bitch have been screwing like bunnies for weeks now. I even caught them on her training mat in the back of the Magic Box. They were rutting into each other like it was the end of the world. I had to go get a stiff drink afterwards."

Anya did not blink. Her face was set with a look that would humble a Jedi Knight and make a Sith Warrior piss in his robe. "That bastard told me he was in love with me!! He told me that I made him feel like a MAN!!"

"I guess she makes him feel like a stud. He's sticking that Slayer poon tang every night."

"YOU'RE NOT HELPING!!!" she screamed.

"I'm not here to help, luv. I'm here to expose cheating boyfriends. That's my new hobby in the year 2001."

Anya looked back at the motel. She saw the light come on in Buffy and that Bastards room. "I should go in there beat the living shit out of that slut."

"News flash, girlie girl. The Bitch would kick your ass, tie you to a kitchen chair and fuck Xander right in front of you."

Anya thought for a seconds. "If I knew he still loved me that might be interesting, but right now it's not." Her hands were balled up in fists. She felt betrayed.

She wanted vengeance.

"It's all Buffy's fault. She couldn't stand to see me and the Bastard happy while she was her usual miserable self. I thought she loved G.I. Joke."

"That Bitch is such a Bitch," Spike tossed back at her. "Now, what are we going to do about it?"

Anya looked at Spike with a questioning glare. "What do you mean we? What's your stake in this?"

Spike quickly turned defensive. "I just don't want Xander to hurt you the way Riley hurt the Bitch."

"Her name is Buffy!"

"She's the Bitch now!!" Spike screamed back at her. "But you can use, slut, hoe, tramp, or dime store hussy if you prefer."

Anya's face lit up and she placed her hand over her mouth. "You're in love with Buffy, aren’t you?"

"IN LOVE WITH BUFFY. HELLLL NOOOO!!!!," Spike vehemently denied. "I admit that at one time I wanted some Slayer pie. Might have even craved some Slayer pie. But she only bakes for Xander now."

His words brought a vein that started on Anya's temple and soon rose across her forehead. "Well I am going to shut down her bakery for good. I promise you that. No one will ever taste the sugary treats of Buffy Summers again."

Spike closed his eyes and almost fell into the Bitch's trap again. He quickly snapped up and regained his composure. "What are we going to do?"

An evil look appeared on her face. "Secondly, we are going to get my powers back. I think I know how. Third I'm going to allow that bastard to know what it feels like to get fucked. And lastly, I'm going to make sure no man ever wants Buffy again."

"Ah, Anya. Don't you think you're forgetting one important step. The first one."

Without saying a word, Anya climbed into the backseat and took off her shirt. "First, you're going to fuck me. I need a good orgasm to get my revenge juices flowing."

"You think you're ready for the British Big Bad to bang your back out baby?" Spike smiled.

"Get your dead ass back here, now."

His plan was working even better than he thought it would. Reaching for his CD player, he pressed track number 8. Then he reached into his glove compartment and pulled out a square piece of cardboard and placed it facing the drivers side window. The sign read....

[Don't come ah knockin if this car be ah rocking!!]

'This is a Man's World', by James Brown serenaded the unholy union taking place in the back seat of a Spike's car parked in front of a Burger King.


******

******


The Best Western Motel
Thursday, January, 11, 1:45 AM
Sunnydale, Ca


As she waited in front of the microwave, Xander wondered if anything he had ever seen in the world would compare to Buffy standing barefoot with nothing on but his work shirt.

The answer was a simple one.

Nothing compared to her.

She was his now. His girlfriend. She loved him. Had said it in and out of bed. Said it enough until he stopped doubting it and just accepted.

"What are you staring at?" Buffy asked as the microwave ping noise signaled the food was ready.

"I think you are the sexiest woman in the world."

Her smile was worth every bad thing he had ever experienced in his whole life.

Xander had bought some bar-b-que ribs and chicken from her favorite restaurant to the motel. After Slaying she needed good, hearty food and McDonalds just wasn't going to cut it.

Buffy prepared two paper plates and brought them over to the bed. Eating in bed and watching tv had become both of their favorite times of the week, provided that they were together, of course.

Buffy dug into her food as did Xander, both exchanging little looks. Buffy stole some his fries and he pretended to be annoyed. Xander played with her feet, calling them planks because of how flat they were from walking in all those cemeteries.

"Buffy, are you going to put on any panties?" Xander asked as if he wanted her to cover herself up more.

Yeah right!!

She ignored his comment. He was trying to bait her and she knew it. Xander started to play with the hem of the shirt she was wearing.

"Do you want me to put my panties back on?" she asked as innocently as a little girl might ask her mom for a cookie.

Her innocent voice, much like everything else she did turned him on. "Well, I wouldn't want you to catch a cold."

"You are such good boyfriend, worrying about my health like that."

"It's because I love you so much."

She had no choice.

Her lips wanted to kiss his and there would be no argument.

Of course the rest of her didn't mind either.

"Okay, sweetheart. I'll put some underwear on." Buffy grabbed Xander by the hips, flipped him over and tore his boxers off, leaving him completely naked on the bed. She then stood to her feet and put the boxers on, tying them with the string in the front as tight as she could to keep them up. She then hopped back on the bed as if nothing happened.

"You are truly the sexiest woman in the world, Buffy," Xander said as he sat back as if he still had on his boxers.

"And don't you forget it."

"Do you want me to put my underwear back on?"

Buffy looked up with a let-me-think-expression on her face. "Nah, I like watching the Governor salute me."

Her pet name for his, as she put, 'favorite toy', never ceased to amuse him.

"Buffy, I think it's time you had another Xander love injection. It is the flu season, you know."

"Oh, I don't know about that," she teased as she scooted to the far side of the bed. "I think we are both pretty inoculated. Haven't you had enough Buffy oral exams?"

Buffy oral exams had there on island in Xander's mind. He called it Paradise Island.

He wanted to live on Paradise Island for the rest of his life.

"Well, I did have the sniffles today at work."

"Poor baby."

"And you seemed to be suffering from insomnia. Maybe I should take your temperature with my Xander Tongue thermometer."

"Where would you take my temperature?"

Xander moved in front of her and undid the little bowstring she made to keep his boxers on her hips. He slowly pulled them off. "I think your lower extremities would be a good place to start. Then you could follow that with a Buffy Oral Exam. And to top it off so that we are both completely immune to all things, the Xander love injection will be administered."

"But I've already had one tonight." The innocent voice came back. The blood in Xander's brain traveled south at a rapid pace, resembling the Rebel Fleet advancing toward the Death Star at the end of Return of the Jedi.

"It's always good to follow these things up. There are some nasty bugs out there these days."

Buffy fell onto her back as Xander fell on top of her. She squeaked when her foot accidentally ran across her plate of Bar-B-Que. Her foot was now covered with sauce.

Xander quickly left her pouting lips, scooted down her body and began licking and sucking the sauce of her toes.

Buffy couldn't control her laughter, but when he started sucking each one, she started panting. Her breathing got heavier.

This was getting turned her on.

"I'm going to give you a tongue bath, Ms. Summers. Just to make sure you don't catch a fever."

"By all means, Dr. Harris. Do what you think is best."

A great time was had by all.


******

Four Hours Later
5:45 AM

******


Buffy murmured from her comfortable spot against Xander's chest. An early morning sun shined through the motel window, casting shadow puppets over them as they lay with their arms wrapped around each other.

Slowly Buffy opened her eyes, only to notice the time on the clock radio that sat on a small coffee table.

"Ignore it," was breathed into her hair as Xander pulled her closer, kissing the top of her head.

"I have classes in three hours. I've got to get home and take a shower. My mom is already going to blow a gasket when she realizes I'm not there. She'll think I'm with Riley."

"I know." He stroked her hair softly

"You know I don’t want to go," she sighed, wishing that she could stay in Xander's arms all day. Wishing that they could go out in public like a normal couple, without fear of hurting anyone or being asked a million questions.

Their love was so new and so precious that they didn't want to share it with anyone.

"I hate to watch you walk away."

"You've got to go to work as well."

"Don't remind me," he grinned down affectionately and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. Her hair was falling around her face in attractive little wisps. Xander couldn't stop looking at the beautifull woman in his arms.

Buffy brought one of his hands that laid across her stomach to her lips and kissed his
fingers. As she touched his fingers with her own an incredible sensation washed over her as she realized what she had before her.

Joy at her fingertips. For all the times he made her smile or laugh. For filling her with a sense of happiness in an indescribable way.

Life at her fingertips. For taking the hard shell she was beginning to re-build after Riley's betrayal and destroying it. For his devotion to her and her sister during her mothers
illness. For making her feel alive again.

Patience at her fingertips. For not ever giving up on her no matter what mistakes she may have made. He didn't walk away. He didn't create excuses for his own insecurities. With her mothers life in jeopardy, she lost her way. Recently, she found it. He knew she would.

Friendship at her fingertips. For knowing her better than anyone. She is flawed in matters of the heart. He knows that, accepts it. He is strong enough to tell her when she is messing up. A true friend will not stand behind the I'll-mind-my-own-business or Since-I'm-not-perfect-how-can-I-tell-her-what-to-do- line. A true friend is someone that will get in your face and tell you the pure truth, with full knowledge that it might not be something the other person wants to hear and might jeopardize the friendship all together. Xander cares for her enough to risk it all.

Love at her fingertips. For wanting what is best for her in all things, regardless of his own opinion or feelings on the matter. Xander doesn't want to change her. He loves the girl he met in high school and he loves the woman she is now. She is who she is and he loves that.

"I adore you," she smiled up at him. Then she reached up and caressed his cheek gently "I really do."

Xander laid his head atop hers, wondering just when did life start treating it's favorite whipping boy so good.

They settled into a comfortable silence again, each watching the clock as father time plotted against them. Buffy decided to just savor the opportunity to relax in Xanders warm embrace.

She is content, happy. She feels loved. Knows it beyond a shadow of a doubt.

"I wonder if you're the shortest Slayer in history?"

Buffy looked up at him in surprise. "I love you, too. Oh, wait a minute. I thought you said something romantic. My bad. Yes, I am the shortest Slayer in recorded history."

Xander rested his cheek against hers and murmured in her ear. "I do love you. Love you so much. But sometimes my mind can't comprehend this. Us. I just say something stupid to cover up the fact that I don't know what to say."`

"Trust your heart. I do."

Xander placed several light, gentle kisses across her cheek. "I'm trying."

"Xander, promise me something?"

"What?"

"Tell me when you feel like I am closing myself off from you. I don't think I could take another betrayal."

"Sweetheart, I promise you that I will never hurt you. I swear on my life that I won't. We will keep the lines of communication open. We'll work on it because neither of us are very good at it."

"I don't want you to think that you're the new rebound guy and we're fated to repeat what I just went through."

Xander could only hold her tighter. She had so many insecurities, so many more than anyone knew about. "Buffy, we have been friends for nearly five full years. We talk, laugh, fight, rescue, argue, and stand by each other through thick and thin. We both know everything their is to know about the other. I know about Angel, you being the Slayer and all that entails. I accept it. I have watched you grow up just like you have watched me grow up. We have been in an relationship since the start that just wasn't romantic. Now it is. I'm not Angel. I'm not Riley. I don't have a destiny or powers, or super strength, or an army behind me. But I do make Hamburger Helper pretty damn well." Buffy laughed against his chest. "I have my own apartment with a fully stocked refrigerater. I actually have a credit rating and it's going up. I will finally be able to get myself a new car in the summer and I will give you my old one. That's a good girlfriend perk."

"Very good."

"I'm not the best fighter in the world. To be honest I'm not in the top one hundred thousand in California. But I've worked hard to get better. I won't be a liability when I watch your back."

"There is no one else I would ever want to watch my back."

"And what a great backside it is," Xander leered in her ear. "Continuing, I work in construction and the longer I stay in it the more money I'll make. I have a career now. I'm in a union. See, Buffy. I'm just an average Joe. But no one loves you more than me. No one wants to make you happy more than me. I will never abandon you or lie to your face,.... well accept for that one time."

"I forgave you, remember. We're past that."

"I know. I just want you to make sure that an average Joe is enough for you." Buffy felt a pain in her heart from his insecurities.

"Xander, I love you. You make me happy. You respect me. You know me better than I know myself. I adore your hamburger helper, especially with the peppers you throw in. I love your apartment and will gladly take your used car off of your hands this summer. I will also look good driving your new one, thank you very much." He rewards her with a laugh. "You do have super strength, it's just not in your arms, it's in your heart. And you do have a destiny."

"Oh, yeah. What is it?"

"To be with me." Buffy smiled broadly, the kind that lit up her face and the surrounding ten miles. He returned it with one of his own.

Xander took her face in his hands. His lips descended on hers in a soft, sweet kiss. Buffy responded eagerly, her arms winding around his neck and pulling him closer, her hand slipping behind his head to deepen the kiss.

They kissed and cuddled and exchanged I love you's until 6:30 AM, then they finally had to leave.

Time to put the masks on.

******

******


The Summer's Home
Thursday, January 11, 2001 7:15 AM
Sunnydale, Ca



This was her new ritual.

The hunt for the truth was on.

Dawn, for the last week has been getting up extra early, showering, brushing her teeth, and getting dressed. When she's finished, she stays in the bathroom and waits for Buffy to arrive.

Her sister, for the past week to a week and a half has been comming through the yard next door and climbing up the side of their house, sneaking into her bedroom.

Dawn's life now had purpose.

Expose Buffy's secret.

Her eye's were focused like a hawk on the next door neighbors yard. She stood by her window with binoculars, waiting for Buffy to creep back in the house.



She waited patiently for the next ten minutes until her quarry came into focus.

******

Buffy knew she was cutting it close this morning. She usually liked to be in the house by
6:15 AM, but this mornings talk and cuddle session was just to good to leave until they simply had no choice.

Xander dropped her off a block away. Buffy criss crossed three of her neighbors yards to get to her own.

Right under Buffy's window sat an attractive row of vines.

Under these vines sat a rope she installed a few days ago. She could now climb in her window without having to creep in the front door.



As she pulled herself up and through the window she left open, her wicked grin at what she had planned tonight wouldn't leave her face.



******

Go to Part 2

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