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Date Posted: 21:26:52 12/18/03 Thu
Author: 百目鳥
Subject: 201. 考試

多年之後我依然記得,某個冬日的下午,在悄然無聲的試場中我偶然抬頭,額角碰觸窗外,瀰漫如浴室煙霞的陽光,就停止了經年累月的揮筆疾書。

考試是恆久常存的。我的大半生,從混沌無知的白卷開始,到如今被塗改得千瘡百孔,都無容悖逆地依循既定的規則前行。不是從3條問題選擇2條,就是在4個答案中揀出1個。不是2個小時4條essay,就是10個鐘頭6份圖則。不是考試,就是準備考試。

一份考卷完了之後是下一份。走出了一個試場,外面還不是更大的試場。

而我,我又是誰呢?有時是h9607430,有時是考生編號279。在終極主宰偉大無匹的俯視下,我,一個微小如塵的黑點,還不配擁有名字。

在經年累月的揮筆疾書之後,今天下午那如浴室煙霞的陽光仍在提醒我:謙卑和溫柔生活,樂天以及愛與付出,這幾個感悟的答案我書寫了多年,但結果我還是,什麼也不懂。

2003/12/18

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