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Date Posted: 18:35:34 07/23/00 Sun
Author: the man who knew too much
Subject: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly #48

The Good, the Bad and The Ugly #48

THE GOOD

Throwing Copper - Contrary to popular opinion this album was actually the second from American rockers Live. They recently released their fourth but this one still remains their best. Its angry rock sounds may take you back to high school, but then again sometimes that's just what we need.

Beauty of Grey - While we are on the topic of Live just thought we would mention this track off their first album Mental Jewelry. To us it is one of the most beautiful songs ever written and while good on this album the MTV "unplugged" version brings us almost to tears.

Glen McGrath - Australian Cricket Fast-Bowling Hero he may be but that never stopped the majority of the population making cracks about his poor batting skills. However a few of us held firm that one day McGrath's bat would bludgeon it's way into saving a game for his team. And it has. Last week McGrath scored his first ever 50 winning the game for the English first class side he is currently playing for. We are now looking forward to the maiden century this summer.

The Bledisloe Cup - Preferred by Australian rugby union players over the supposedly more prestigious World Cup. Why? Could it be because the Bledisloe pits us against those farm animal preferring New Zealanders in a local derby and so is more important? Nope it's because it's bigger and holds more alcohol.

www.themeworld.com - Yay, free pretty stuff. Want to make your computer look a little better? Then go here and grab one of the thousands of themes.

www.newsoftheweird.com - Pretty self-explanatory really.

www.weirdal.com - While we are on the weird why not check out this official site for Weird Al Yankovic, the performer famous for his parody songs but whose originals are always better.

Seeing your friends on the front page - In no reference to the story below (see The Ugly) it was a surprise to see the face of a good friend on the front page of The Canberra Times earlier in the week. Way to go Estelle.

Women who use their cleavage as a distraction - Sure it may cause us to blow the occasional pool shot but damn if it ain't worth it.


THE BAD

Win Roy and H.G.'s Money - 'Rampaging' Roy Slaven and H.G. Nelson are an Australian Institution and we are completely mystified as to why they have decided to do this American TV rehash on a commercial network. We are so pissed about the whole thing we are not going to even mention when it shows, instead we will plug their national radio show This Sporting Life, Sunday's on Triple J at 2pm. And leave you with the immortal line 'Shame Boys, Shame'.

New Card Craze sweeps British Schools - Teachers in British Schools are in despair over the latest card craze to sweep the playground and it's not Pokemon. Nope it's Prostitute Calling Cards. For years British ladies of the night have been leaving their calling cards in phone booths, much to Telecom's disgust. The cards list contact methods as well as the types of services available allowing the kids to come up with a game much like trumps (or should that be 'tramps'). Current top cards include Danielle the Dominatrix and Sultry Sophie while reports of a Sarah Ferguson card remain unjustified.

Benjamin Davis - 23 year old Benjamin Davis was recently arrested by New Hampshire police for "keeping a house of ill fame for lewdness". Apparently he had been running S&M parites out of his house every two weeks for six months before police raided the house and found "55 men and women in various states of undress along with whips, chains and other paraphernalia". Davis also happens to live with his mother who says she was "stunned" by the discovery. She also stated "I'm proud of him. But the other part of me wants to spank him" perhaps explaining how he got started on the whole thing in the first place.

Mini-skirts - Very bad according to Swaziland School Officials who have banned the dangerous piece of clothing from Schools. Why? Because they think it will cease the transmission of AIDS. Seems teachers and boys alike are falling victim to the allure of the skirt and in a country were reportedly ¼ of the population is HIV positive any measure, no matter how stupid, is to be considered.

The death of Don McLean inventor of the Tim Tam - American's have their Oreo's and we in Australia have our Tim Tam's and both biscuits have a special place in the national psyche. The Tim Tam has alleviated the heartbreak of many a female, and the occasional male, showing that a good chocolate biscuit can possibly cure all.

Killer Condom- SBS, Monday Night 10.00pm. Don't ask us we don't know. But with a title like that it has to be bad and perhaps bad enough to be really good.

Headline of the week - "Spaghetti arrested for Tortellini" (Reuters). After Stephano Spaghetti was found helping himself to Tortellini in a closed restaurant in Italy this week.


THE UGLY

Front Page of the Canberra Sunday Times - Nice relaxing Sunday morning (or afternoon for some of you) and then we opened the paper and were subjected to the mangled visage of Tom Jones (no not the one who gets panties thrown at him). Mr Jones is the victim of a road rage attack that occurred on a Canberra street in January. Sure road rage is an ugly crime but that doesn't warrant disturbing our Cornflakes does it?

Kathy Watt - Australian bike rider and resident pain-in-the-arse who failed to make the Olympic team and so has ,surprise surprise, resulted to legal action against the selectors, again. What is her problem? Is she jealous now that Mark Philippoussis is the most loathed Australian athlete right now and not her or what?

.Net - Microsoft (TM, Copyright and every bloody thing else) has a new plan for world domination and the plan is '.Net'. What does it mean? We don't know and neither apparently does Microsoft. Their press releases and quotes on the topic seems to be nothing but garbled language about "clouds", "domains" and "tablet". Oh and Microsoft is in the process of copyrighting those words as well.

Heath Ledger - Not that we have anything personal against the guy (except that he is cuter, more talented and richer than us) but we are absolutely sick and tired of being unable to pick up a magazine or newspaper without seeing a picture of the chap. Of course we have the small comfort that this being Australia the backlash won't be too far behind.

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